Selected Scriptures

July 25, 2021

Lord’s Day Worship

Sean Higgins

Or, When Spouses Get Contrariwise

Selected Scriptures

Introduction

I gave the impression to some that I was going to do a series on marriage rather than just one sermon. Okay. It will be a two-parter, and this is number two.

Also, I really do understand that not everyone is married, just like everyone doesn’t have kids, which was the focus last Lord’s Day. But all Scripture is profitable, the parts about the dragon and the beast, and also husbands and wives, which I’m not saying are the same.

Marriage is a mess because of Genesis 3. Sin separated Adam and Eve, and part of the punishment God gave them included difficulty in life together and between one another (see Genesis 3:16). Two sinners living in such close proximity will see sparks and stings and sorrows. It will happen even between couples who are actively being sanctified by God’s Spirit.

The institution of marriage is a mess in our culture and there are levels of mess in marriages among us. Every marriage has some mess, but, by grace, it can be cleaned up. That said, only those willing to do the work (and endure some pain) truly see the profit.

He blesses marriage, and husbands and wives taste it, and see the fruit. If we want our homes to be a destination, then the linchpin relationship is between the spouses.

No Exceptions

One of the first and weightiest principles of marriage I ever considered was based on an observation about the household responsibilities in Ephesians 5 which are also visible in Colossians 3 and 1 Peter 3.

> Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22–24, ESV)

> Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25–33, ESV)

Here is Paul’s two-verse edition to the Colossians.

> Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:18–19, ESV)

Both the husband and wife receive commands. Both also receive clarifications. Neither, however, receive any conditions based on the other person’s character or obedience to his/her command.

Husbands, you must love your wife, dying to bring life to her, regardless if your wife is:

lovely

thankful

submissive

Should a man choose the least-lovely-to-him woman to be his bride? No. But is her initial loveliness or her maintained/unfading loveliness a condition for his ongoing obedience? No. In fact, for him to really be like Jesus, he must love her when she is truly unlovely.

> For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6–8, ESV)

God’s love is so great that He loves His enemies out of rebellion and hostility into loveliness and fellowshi[...]