A feared rebel kid with an Alice Cooper obsession became my first real school mate at Penrith Primary.

But between ballroom dancing humiliation, tree bark cigarettes, getting blindsided by high school thugs, and a brutal hardwood floor accident, childhood was starting to feel a lot less safe.

As Season 1 comes to an end, I also share two bonus stories from infants school — including the day I accidentally joined the wrong “Recorder Club”… and a memory involving a mysterious pair of white panties that stayed lodged in my brain for the next six decades.

In Welcome To My Daymare, the cracks begin to show long before Heartless High ever starts.