This week we discuss: We almost approve the Pens fashion choices, Malkin did a bad bad thing (and he didn’t even do it well!), the Canes new celly is a home run, the Dallas Stars deserve better than ownership’s “we’re open to anything” bullshit, we want Seth Jones to cook us dinner and finally a listener's question about sorting players in Hogwarts Houses break Riot & then the results of Riot's enormous excel point system break Laura.