Perrfection Ponders

The educational system in the US has a very particular goal and, as misleading as the tittle may be, the goal is not to educate.  The goal is to create and categorize the work force, Rockefeller, the founder of the Board of Education said it himself. Many of us are not even remotely aware of how this impacts the humanity, livelihood and future of our children. Further the less, how this system aids in subjecting all of our existences to nothing more than worker and consumer.

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Many worship their egos as the most important thing in their lives and don't even realize it, and at what cost?

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For those who feel as though they can't do it anymore, this is my last resort. The prospective may help even if you aren't in that position.

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From a young age we are often taught that love is meant to be possessive and competitive. 

A parent must have a favorite child. It’s normal to feel jealous when our best friends make new friends.  Even to feel abandoned and neglected when our partners spend time with their other loved ones or indulging in their personal passions.

I remember filling out a questionnaire on a dating app in my college years. One of the questions were something along the lines of “is jealousy important in a relationship?” I nearly laughed at the question, thinking the answer to be an obvious no and thought nothing much of it. To my astonishment, the large majority of the people I encountered on the app thought quite the opposite.

I also often hear the remark that a jealous partner gives many a feeling of security in that their partner actually cares. Social media constantly praises overbearing possessiveness with jokes of spy cameras and trackers.

And so I find myself wondering: why can’t we love and be loved without comparing the love between all the relationships in our lives? I’m not referring to lust but genuine pure authentic love, concern, kindness and admiration.

It is a terrible thing to choose love for one over that for another, but it seems to be common practice.

This social standard makes it easy to convince myself that staying single forever would allow me to love freely but even then, loneliness may arise, as most - including those that I love - will sub-come to the bounds of this normalized and perpetuated idea that we can only truly love one person or thing at a time.

But even if I were to partake in mainstream romanticized monogamy, the reality of loneliness is still tangible. What do you do when the only person you were allowed to love suddenly dies? Or even in the moments when your passions or ways of thought don’t align?

Who can you turn to for comfort and understanding when those ties have been severed in order to pour all of one’s attention into something that is no longer or, in a particular way, happens to be insufficient?

Most are not willing to show love and comfort to someone who has previously evoked feelings of neglect, especially if they feel like a second option or rebound.

Why is it expected of me to abandon my love for all those in my life in order to honor one relationship? Why is it anticipated that my partner feel threatened by the relationships I have with others? As long as I reassure them of their importance to me through words, actions, and open and honest communication, why should that love be questioned?

I am no stranger to jealousy, it is an honest and real emotion but, I don’t believe it should constrain the lives of those we love most. Jealousy has more to do with our own insecurities than our loved one's ability to be faithful and consistent. If faithfulness and consistency are truly at question, then maybe that relationship isn’t presently as valuable as we have convinced ourselves of.

There seems to be something innately wrong with this possessive take on love. Such a mentality enables objectification and inhibits communal dependence, which is very important for development in every aspect of life and innate to us as social beings. 

This mentality is a huge contributor to depression and feelings of neglect, betrayal and isolation. 

I also wish that we as a society could work harder to separate authentic love from feelings of lust and desire. Not that the second is negative but the distinction is vital in building a healthier society.

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Confidence can be the difference between a life of happiness and a life of anxiety. Create small, achievable goals for yourself that can lead to greater successes and truly bask in every accomplishment. Anything from saving a few hundred dollars to waking up early in time to make breakfast. Don't dwell on things that are out of your control but instead focus that energy on what you can control. Acknowledge every failure and every rejection as a step in the right direction, they are proof that you're taking action and that's what matters. Confidence comes from knowing what you are capable of, from acknowledging your own accomplishments, from achieving goals that you value.

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Honesty is actually a lot more controversial than many of us would think it to be. Potentially due to its possible repercussions or the seemingly simplistic nature of a white lie but what do we find when we dive deeper into the reality of lies, honesty, and trust? What do we sacrifice, what do we gain?

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Hello hello! Today we talk about a concept with divergent meanings. I find that developing a better understanding for respect and actively choosing to cultivate a healthy, positive or even neutral connotation for it, could lead to more happiness. 

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Confrontation should not be feared. Conflict is an unavoidable part of life and although it might not seem so, confrontation is often a tool for growth and education. Approached with the right mindset, confrontation can be as easy as any other conversation. It may take some practice and a lot of work unlearning some old habits but trust, if peaceful and plentiful relationships are what you seek, it is worth it.

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How exactly do we deal with loss? Are we doing ourselves a disservice by avoiding loss? Can we be grateful for what we had without overdoing it's stay?

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Once again, an interesting topic for feelings of discomfort. When we address why exactly we feel uncomfortable, it is much easier to address the situations that generate discomfort. Often, discomfort stems from the lack there of a positive desire, have that be pride, dignity, validation, respect, understanding and so on.

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