Kayin brings an offering to God. His brother Hevel follows his lead and brings an offering of his own which is accepted by God. Kayin’s offering is rejected and he is crestfallen as a result. Before the episode spirals into murder, God gives Kayin a message:

בראשית ד:ז

הֲל֤וֹא אִם־תֵּיטִיב֙ שְׂאֵ֔ת וְאִם֙ לֹ֣א תֵיטִ֔יב לַפֶּ֖תַח חַטָּ֣את רֹבֵ֑ץ וְאֵלֶ֙יךָ֙ תְּשׁ֣וּקָת֔וֹ וְאַתָּ֖ה תִּמְשׇׁל־בּֽוֹ׃

Beresheit 4:7

Is it not so that if you improve, it will be forgiven you? If you do not improve, however, at the entrance, sin is lying, and to you is its longing, but you can rule over it."

The first part of this message is the novel idea that God grants man the power to completely erase previous mistakes (see Radak 4:6). The final clause has a striking similarity to a verse in the previous chapter:

בראשית ג:טז

(טז) אֶֽל־הָאִשָּׁ֣ה אָמַ֗ר הַרְבָּ֤ה אַרְבֶּה֙ עִצְּבוֹנֵ֣ךְ וְהֵֽרֹנֵ֔ךְ בְּעֶ֖צֶב תֵּֽלְדִ֣י בָנִ֑ים וְאֶל־אִישֵׁךְ֙ תְּשׁ֣וּקָתֵ֔ךְ וְה֖וּא יִמְשׇׁל־בָּֽךְ׃

Beresheit 3:16

To the woman He said, "I shall surely increase your sorrow and your pregnancy; in pain you shall bear children. And to your husband will be your desire, and he will rule over you."

What is the connection between these two phrases? At first glance, there does not appear to be an obvious link. Saadia Gaon addresses the connection in the context of explaining the ideas ensconced in the Kayin and Hevel episode:

ר' סעדיה גאון פירוש בראשית ד:ז

והענין השני ענין הבחירה והרשות {הניתנת לאדם}. והוא שאמר: ואליך תשוקתו, דוגמת מה שאמר לחוה: ואל אישך תשוקתך. כמו שנתן לאיש את היכולת להטות את האשה, לרצונו, כך נתן לבני אדם את הכח להטות את מחשבתם לטובה או לרעה, כרצונם. ולפיכך אמר: ראה נתתי לפניך היום את החיים וגו' ובחרת בחיים.

Saadia Gaon - Commentary on the Torah 4:7

The second concept in the subject of free will and autonomy {which is given to man}. And that is what was stated: “And to you will be its desire” (4:6), illustrated in what was said to Chava: “and to your husband will be your desire” (3:16). Just as he gave man to ability to sway the woman, as he wills, so too human beings are given the ability to sway their thoughts to good or bad, as they will. Therefore it says: “Behold, I have given before you today, life…and you shall choose life” (Devarim 30:15-19).

Saadia Gaon describes an analogy. Just as man is given the ability to influence the woman after they are banished from the Garden of Eden, so too man is similarly given the ability to influence his thoughts. An interesting relationship is being described according to Saadia Gaon regarding man’s relationship with his thoughts and feelings. He is not given total control over his inner world. But he can influence it at a distance. This is apparently part of the message God gives to Kayin. It is difficult to instantly change how one feels about a situation. But one can guide his own perspective and attitude over time.

Rav Samson Raphael Hirsh - Commentary on Beresheit 4:7

Moreover, a few verses earlier, in the previous chapter (above, 3:16), we find the very same expressions in a similar sentence: “and to your husband will be your desire, and he will rule over you”, a description of woman’s relationship with her husband…Thus the relationship between man and sensuality resembles the relationship between husband and wife. Man should be ready to draw sensuality near and to form, together with it, one personality; but he must freely rule over his sensuality and, with its help, achieve every noble aim. For this reason, Scripture draws an analogy between these two relationships, and sensuality is compared to a woman. Accordingly, it is possible that our verse means this: Whether you will accept sensuality for good or for bad - for this purpose sensuality waits at the door; its intense longing is toward you, that you should master it…The basic meaning of Mashal is to express the essence of something, to state its nature and purpose. By extension, Mashal means: to rule. A ruler (Moshel) directs everyone as to what he is to be and to do. Thus, Mashal is not synonymous with Kovesh which means to force, to subjugate; rather, the primary meaning of Mashal is to guide and to lead.

Rav Hirsch offers a clarification about internal dynamics and the analogy to the dynamics between husband and wife. One can work together with his or her personality. The ideal is not necessarily to conquer or subjugate our tendencies, but to guide and sublimate them toward higher aims.

Jonathan Haidt, an eminent social psychologist, offers a useful analogy for man’s struggle to navigate and negotiate his personality. He describes that "the mind is divided into parts that sometimes conflict. Like a rider on the back of an elephant, the conscious, reasoning part of the mind has only limited control of what the elephant does” (Haidt, 2012). There have been many historical attempts to describe the competing forces within the human personality. What is compelling about Haidt’s particular metaphor is the quantity of power given to man’s higher or rational forces compared with his other natural impulses, and the implied delicate and subtle approach necessary to effectuate change. Success is not necessarily about pitting one force against another directly. Such an attempt can be futile, frustrating, and ultimately hopeless. Rather, just as the rider naturally guides the elephant, shaping where it decides to go over time, so too we have the ability to shape the development of our personality over time.

After Kayin makes an error, God gives him a specific message. Don’t overestimate your capabilities and the level you are at. The possibility of making a mistake is always there. But don’t underestimate yourself either. While change is not instantaneous or easy, profound and significant change is always possible .

References

Haidt J. (2006). The happiness hypothesis : finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. Basic Books.

Hirsch, R. S. R. (2008). Hirsch Chumash: Sefer Bereshis. Jerusalem - New York: Feldheim Publishers.

Rosenberg, A. (1980). A new English translation of the Hebrew Bible text and Rashi, with a commentary digest. New York: Judaica Press. Retrieved from: https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bentorah.substack.com