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Piety & Profanity

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Piety & Profanity
Two witty stories of Piety & Profanity
Heaven or Hell

What's

it like when we die?

By Many Feathers Listen to the Podcast

at Steamy Stories.



Let's

face it. No one really knows what its like to die, I certainly didn't. The last
thing I remember was someone saying, "He's gone." In the next instant
I was somewhere else. I can't even explain it really, because the somewhere
else was without substance, without definition really. Until images came to
mind, places I had once known, been to, or had wondered about. Then
suddenly...there I was!

It felt

warm, comforting. I was standing on a hill, there was a breeze against my face,
though again, there hadn't been until I'd considered it, then there it was! It
was quiet, peaceful, just as I imagined it might be, would be. I looked down at
myself, I was old.

"Damn!

Aren't we supposed to change back to the best way we ever looked, or should
look?" I wondered. And suddenly, I did. At least I wasn't just a thought
floating around without substance. Then I grimaced, worried that I would be,
but that didn't happen.

"Ok,

that's better. Much, much better!" I said feeling a hell of a lot better
admittedly. But it was still strange.

I mean,

we all have our own ideas of what Heaven is supposed to be like I suppose. But
this wasn't like anything I'd ever even heard of or imagined before either. No
pearly gates, though they'd have looked really out of place from where I was
standing. No white haired guy in a white flowing robe with a great big book
with a bright green bookmarker holding the place open where my name would have
been listed. None of that. Hell, there wasn't even a bird singing or a
butterfly flying. And then...there was.

"Ok,

maybe I'm starting to get the hang of this after all," I thought to myself.

But I

was still surprised no one had come to greet me, no one had come to tell me
where I was supposed to go, or what I was supposed to do. I even thought about
my parents who had died years ago. Nothing. Unlike the sudden appearance of
birds, butterflies and bee's (which I quickly decided I didn't want or need and
made them go away) there was nothing else. At least no mom, no dad. No uncles,
no aunts, no friends (only one or two of which I could actually remember as
having died before I did). Bottom line was, no people.

"Well,

this sucks!" I said aloud wondering if anyone could actually hear me.

I

decided to go for a walk, and then wondered if I could fly. Sure enough, I was
floating in the air and moving forward at an incredible speed. Problem was, the
ground below me whizzed by faster than I could imagine it until I was standing
in the middle of darkness.

"Lets

try that one again," I thought. I was back on the hill again, oh yeah; the
breeze thing, and the birds and the butterflies were kinda cool too. Except, I
really am going to walk this time, at least until such a time as I get the
flying/moving thing down a whole lot better.

So I

walked. And I walked, and I walked. The only cool thing here was, when I got
tired of walking and seeing the same scenery (cause I knew it usually would
take several hours if I was to walk out of this valley and actually get
anywhere else), all I had to do was think of another place, and I was there.
One moment in the mountains, in the next walking through Canyon lands in Moab.
At least I thought it was Moab, sure looked like it anyway, though once again
there was no people. And that was the other interesting part. I tried thinking
about the valley where I'd lived, my home, once again my friends and family. I
think...though don't take my word on this, but I think I was in the valley
where my home should be, once was, or would be. I mean who knows, when your
dead, maybe when we're there, we're just borrowing the here, which is real,
when that reality isn't. Anyway, no houses, no cars, no planes, no people.
Nada...nothing.

I kept

thinking that maybe I was on hold or something. Or that I'd failed to see the
sign that had said "Out to lunch". I certainly didn't want to stand
around in the dark, and I was sort of missing the birds at this point, as I'd
forgotten to bring them along with me. So I went back. Back to the mountain,
sat down and waited.

Who

knows how long I sat there waiting. A year? A day? A century or two? Who the
hell knows. I certainly didn't have a watch, couldn't even produce one. And who
was around to tell or give me the correct time, or even what the hell day it
was anyway?

So I

just sat there and waited. And wondered. And began to think about my life and
some of the people I knew, or once knew anyway. And then the last thing in the
world I had ever expected to happen happened. I looked up the hill and saw a
young woman walking towards me. She looked familiar, and even at this distance
I could envision her face, see her smile, and she even waved.

"Thank

God!" I said aloud, half expecting to hear a booming "You're
Welcome!" but that didn't happen either. I really hate it when you can't
remember a name. I mean I knew I knew her, I just couldn't remember from where,
or when. Then it came to me. And was that because I suddenly decided I did know
her name? That I'd actually thought about her in passing when I began thinking
about my life and what I'd accomplished or failed to accomplish for one reason
or another? Or because I just decided what her name was. Once again, I didn't
know for sure, not really. But as Darlene approached getting ever closer, which
is when I suddenly decided to do the half-fly, half hop thing, I was standing
next to her.

"Darlene?

Is that really you?" She smiled and nodded her head yes.

"Please

tell me you can speak," I asked worriedly. "Or are we supposed to be
talking with our minds and not our mouths or something like that?" I
asked.

She

laughed then, which was like music to my ears (and briefly, I swear I could
hear the Sound of Music playing in the background).

"I've

been looking for you," She said simply.

"You

have?"

"Yes,

ever since I got here."

"How

long has that been?"

"Oh,

I don't know, forever maybe? Who knows?"

At the

moment, I couldn't very well argue with that. "Well, it's sure as hell nice
to finally see someone else, and actually talk to them!" Then I hunched my
shoulders worriedly, wondering if the word "Hell" was appropriate, or
inappropriate under the circumstances.

"So,

you seen anyone else?" I had to ask.

"Nope,

just you. But then again, like I said, you're the only one I've been looking
for anyway."

I still

wondered why. Why was she here with me and not with her friends, her family.
What was she doing here looking for me for? And why her anyway? I mean after
all, Darlene had been the first girl I had ever kissed, first girl who two
years later actually let me touch her boobs, and then the first girl I had ever
gone down on in her parents bedroom when they were out for the evening. But
what that had to do with us still escaped me. Or any of this for that matter.

"So,

now what?" I had to ask.

"I

don't know, you tell me," she responded.

Like

that helped anything. I guess we could continue to sit here and wait. But I'd
done that already. And it was Darlene that said she'd been wandering around for
just about ever looking for me, so there had to be something about that that
made some sort of sense, which for the moment at least, didn't.

And then

I thought about something else.

"Was

there a reason why you've been looking for me?" I asked.

"Yeah,"

she said finally grinning. "Why don't you lie down on the grass and I'll
show you."

Now we

were getting somewhere. Unless she suddenly turned into some sort of Vampire or
something at the last minute.

"You're

not a Vampire are you?" I had to ask. Once again she laughed.

"No,

and I'm not here to suck your blood either. But I wouldn't mind sucking
something else."

"Ok,

this HAD to be heaven!" I decided. "No way in, well...you know, no
way in that place could this be that."

She had

a lot bigger, a lot nicer tits than I remembered too. But of course that
probably made sense. I mean back then...anyways, at least now she had them and
they were pretty nice looking too. She undressed and got down on her knees and
oh yeah, that felt nice, really nice. And once again I was reminded how good
this felt, how pleasurable this was, and that if she kept this up I'd soon be
climaxing. And then the fear, "What if? What if I can't? What if she sucks
and sucks me for ever and I can't?" But then I was, and I did...and all was
right with the world again. Well, this world anyway. And besides, I sorta
always figured that if a person went to hell, they probably couldn't have an
orgasm, so that was at least a point on the Heaven side of the ledger I
suppose. And the fact I'd just had one, and a damn good one in fact, tended to
support that theory.

"Now

what do you want to do?" I asked a while later.

"How

about we fuck now?" she asked demurely. Once again I looked around.
"Maybe you shouldn't talk like that here," I told her. "Mess
around, or do it might be a little more appropriate, something like that."

"Ok,

so lets mess around then," she stated.

So we

did.

The only

thing I remember about Darlene that I didn't like was that she was so clingy as
they say. Seemed she was always touching me one-way or the other. A hand on my
leg if we were simply sitting there, or if we walked anyplace, she had to hold
my hand, or if we laid down in the grass, or on a hill, or sometimes when we
just floated around off the ground (especially then) so I quit floating after
that), she had to be holding onto something. I mean sometimes when she held
onto things, or when even I did, I liked it. But not all the time. But if I
said anything to her about it, hurt her feelings, then she'd sit there and cry
until I told her I was sorry, to which there would come the hand into my lap
again.

Oh yeah,

and you don't sleep either. You don't go to bed and wake up the next morning
feeling either tired, sleepy or refreshed. The sun's just sort of there, all
the time, though you don't see the sun, or anything else like it for that
matter. It's just sun-shinny with light all day long (all night long for that
matter) but like I said. You don't sleep. I sorta miss that.

Then a

while later. (I like to think in terms of days, but for all I know, a day is a
year here, or a millennium, who cares?) Anyway, so like about maybe a week
later we're hanging out, (oh yeah and I gave up wearing clothes, I mean whets
the point? We're usually naked most of the time anyway, and it makes it a whole
lot easier when we're in the mood to mess around). So we've just finished doing
it...again, when I look up the road. (Made that one myself out of dirt, seemed
appropriate anyway, somewhere to look down, or walk down when we weren't busy
messing around). And low and behold, I see this other girl approaching us. And
just like Darlene, I think I know her, and then I do know her. Brenda?

Brenda's

the first girl I ever did it with. She smiles and waves, and I wave back and
notice Darlene's not smiling. But she remains by my side as we sort of do the
float walk thing towards where Brenda's standing.

Next

thing you know, it's the same story. Brenda's been looking for me for quite a
while too now, and finally knows where to find me, so she has, and here she is,
and here we are all now.

And then

we're all messing around, having a hell...I mean having a lot of fun, and its
all good, and they're both beautiful and all that, even though Brenda and
Darlene sort of fight over who's going first and that sort of thing, which is
kind of cool in a way as I really never did have another girl fight over me,
except for maybe Theresa, and then low and behold, I see her approaching,
smiling and waving at us too.

Damn,

now isn't this interesting? I think to myself. Then I begin to picture all the
girls I've ever known, ever been with throughout my entire life. And the next
thing I know, there's this entire flock of women walking down the road towards
us, towards me rather as neither Darlene, Brenda, or especially Theresa are looking
very anxious to meet any of them.

And

better still, every damn, ah every darn one of them is as naked as the day they
were born, or died...whatever.

And have

you ever heard the term, "Too much of a good thing?" Well in a way I
guess, this was the perfect example of that. Though admittedly when I saw my
first wife, and my third I began to wonder. And though my second wife hadn't
shown up as yet, I was sort of grateful for that, as I'd really considered her
to be quite a bitch, and so she either hadn't died yet (and I couldn't honestly
remember if she had, or if she hadn't...and who knows what time it is, or how
long we've all been here anyway) the fact she hadn't shown up was a good sign,
sorta. Because she really had been the meanest most vindictive woman I'd ever
known. And seeing her here, really would convince me this was Hell, and not
just some sort of holding area that I was now sorta hoping this really was.

But it

was all still pretty much confusing. On the one hand, I could "do it"
with any one of them any time I liked. And did so, but I had to admit, it took
a lot out of me, and most of them afterwards got all pissy about it if I hadn't
chosen one of them. (Especially Theresa). And have you ever tried doing it with
someone else hanging over your shoulder yelling "Me next? Me next?" I
tell ya, it's not exactly conducive to keeping it up even while your doing it,
or even how attractive or how beautiful the woman are with that going on all
the time.

Eventually,

I did learn that if I thought about moving very fast when I flew, entered that
black void, I would find myself alone. The only problem with that was, the
moment I came out, wherever it was I thought I would be, they'd find me. Then
it was fucking, sucking until I was totally exhausted once again, not to
mention all the God damn bickering (yeah you heard me) it's starting to get on
my nerves in case you didn't know it.

Point

is, I'm still not exactly sure what's going on, why I'm here, or what this
really is.

Mostly

now I just sit alone here in the dark.

I miss

my birds.

By Many Feathers for Literotica

Victorian Sisters
The secret correspondence of two naughty sisters, in the gilded age of
London s well-bred society.

By Sally hollister. Listen to the podcast at Steamy Stories

Dear

Tess,

I have

been led to believe, in a recent social visit to your home, that you allowed my
Bernard to be beastly with you to such a degree as is shameful for ladies to
put to pen & ink. As you know I have always regarded you as a sister and I
am loathe to believe that this can be true. Pray tell me what occurred.

Your

dearest friend,

Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

I am afraid to inform you that the rumours you have heard are true,

but do be assured that the event was not of my instigation. It happened thus; I
was bending over to pick something up when Bernard assaulted me from behind and
was, as you say, beastly with me. He came upon me so sudden I feared for my
sanity as I am not used to being assaulted in such a fashion in my own drawing
room on a Wednesday afternoon. But, as you can infer, I was not to blame.

Your devoted friend,

Tess

PS: I am your sister

Dear

Tess,

Sorry

about the sister thing. Quite forgot. Anyway, I cannot believe that my Bernard
would behave in such a brutal fashion. Are you sure he did not trip and thus
fall upon you?

Your

dearest sister,

Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

I truly cannot say if Bernard tripped, for as I informed you, I was

bent down at the time and my gaze was upon the trinket I was retrieving.

Your devoted sister,

Tess

Dear

Tess,

It is

beyond belief that my sweet Bernard would take advantage of a girl in the way
you imply. Are you sure you did not wiggle your bottom at him in a provocative
fashion, thus causing a rush of blood to his head and his attack upon your
nether parts.

Your

dearest sister,

Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

I am outraged that you could think I could behave in such a fashion.

I have only wiggled my bottom once in my life. It was during my honeymoon, in
front of my husband, Victor, and it gave him a nosebleed. You must seek
elsewhere to find a motive behind Bernard's caddish behaviour.

Your dearest sister,

Tess

Dear

Tess,

I have

now spoken to Bernard about the matter and he confirms that he did indeed trip
over a rug which caused him to fall upon you. What I still cannot ascertain is
how he managed to achieve his end through your bustle.

Your

dearest sister,

Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

Ah, I failed to inform you that I have taken up nude modelling

recently and was in that mode when the event occurred. I have had to resort to
this as our financial situation is perilous. Victor has been thrown out of the
army since leading his regiment on an attack upon our allies, the French, during
an exercise. He has always had difficulties with his sense of direction, the
silly sausage. In any case I think it was an absolute over-reaction by the
military big-wigs as there were only 43 of the Froggies killed and none of them
above the rank of sergeant.

As we have no income Victor suggested I take up modelling in the

nude for artists and it is quite lucrative at 10 guineas per hour. It doesn't
quite cover Victor's gambling debts so I came up with the idea of offering
minor beastliness to young gentlemen for a small remuneration. You will
understand then that your Bernard owes me 20 guineas. We cannot take cheques
else the amount would be taxed so would you slip the amount into an envelope
and have your butler drop it off at our residence?

Your loving sister,

Tess

Dear

Tess,

I

understand entirely your need to pursue a career of nude figure modelling and
offering beastliness to strange men as times are hard. What I fail to
understand is this, though you were naked, how it came to be that Bernard managed
to be beastly with you if he was fully dressed? He, as far as I know, has not
taken up a career of nude modelling. I have spoken to Bernard about the 20
guineas and he says he accepts his debt but says he must pay by cheque and make
a record of the transaction, otherwise he will not be able to claim any tax
relief on the transaction.

Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

How Bernard achieved his end while fully clothed I do not know, but

the fact is that beastliness did occur. As my new enterprise requires discreetness
to all my gentlemen; you must question him further on the event. I am shocked
that he wishes to declare the transaction to the tax authorities. Has he no
concern for the reputation of his sister-i

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