Pink Lady Posse

Special Guest: Tammy Schaefer, AI Strategist & Custom Systems Designer

What happens when a 70-year-old woman with a book, a beautiful website, a big vision, and a business held together by technological duct tape meets an AI strategist who knows how to make systems actually work?

This week, I'm joined by Tammy Schaefer, an AI strategist and custom systems designer who helps healers, creatives, coaches, and small business owners take the chaos out of technology.

Here's my confession: I've written a book. I've developed an entire Friction Framework. I've built a community of extraordinary women. I have a gorgeous website, a growing vision, and enough ideas to keep three businesses busy.

But systems? My technology toolbox looks like Frankenstein went shopping for software and forgot to bring the instructions.

And I'm guessing I'm not alone.

When we encounter something difficult, especially something we think everybody else has already figured out, we often make it mean something about ourselves.

We think we're too old. Too slow. Not disciplined enough. Not technical enough. Or maybe we're just not cut out for this brave new world of artificial intelligence.

Tammy and I explore how these same patterns show up in our businesses, our relationship with technology, and even the way we see ourselves.

For some women, those two little letters — AI — are enough to make them want to grab their purse and head for the nearest exit.

Technology is changing faster than we can learn it. Just when you figure out one thing, somebody introduces something else with a name that sounds like it belongs in a science fiction movie.

But Tammy has a refreshingly practical approach.

She doesn't believe everyone needs to become a technology expert. She believes technology should be designed to support the way people actually think, work, and live.

Imagine help with an overflowing email inbox. Or an AI assistant that prepares thoughtful follow-up emails in your voice, puts them in your drafts folder, and lets you review them before sending.

Or an AI assistant who protects time on your calendar for writing, creating, or even taking care of yourself.

Not robots taking over the world. Not machines rearranging your kitchen while you're sleeping.

We're talking about tools that can give you back something far more valuable than another productivity badge: your time, your energy, and your peace of mind.

And Sandy shares how one of her AI agents saved her an estimated 22 hours of work last week!

Tammy shares how she uses her own systems to create room for movement, self-care, writing, and the things that matter beyond her business.

At 70, I'm still learning. I'm still experimenting. I'm still getting frustrated. And I'm still finding new ways to create a life that works for me.

Tammy also shares how she helps business owners identify their three biggest systems bottlenecks and develop a practical, step-by-step plan for moving forward.

Sometimes the answer is organizing an inbox.

Sometimes it's simplifying a collection of disconnected tools.

Sometimes it's building an AI-assisted workflow that helps you stay connected to the people who matter to your business.

And sometimes the most important step is simply having someone who understands technology sit beside you and say, "We can figure this out."

Because the goal isn't to become someone else.

The goal is to create systems that support who you already are.

Toward the end of our conversation, Tammy shares the beautiful symbolism of the butterfly and its transformation — including that messy, uncertain stage when everything seems to have turned to goo.

And isn't that a perfect picture of reinvention?

Sometimes the middle of becoming something new doesn't look particularly graceful.

Sometimes it looks like confusion, uncertainty, and a whole lot of goo.

But that doesn't mean the transformation isn't happening.

Lipstick on. Shoulders back. Let's go.

💗 Listen to the full episode: [EPISODE LINK]

💗 Learn more about Tammy Schaefer: https://www.bluebutterflysolutions.com/

💗 Explore Sandy's Friction Framework and book: wakeupcallwithlilpstick.com

💗 Join the Pink Lady Posse: PinkLadyPosse.com

Subscribe, share this episode with a sister who needs to hear it, and remember: It's not you. It's friction.

This conversation has legs. And sequins.

And a woman driving 140 miles an hour at age 70. What more could we possibly want?

What if the biggest thing standing between you and the life you really want isn't your age, your circumstances, or even your bank account? What if it's all the stuff—and all the outdated beliefs—you've been carrying around for years?

Oh, girlfriend, buckle up. This conversation is going to make you look at your closets, your calendar, your relationships, and maybe even your entire life a little differently!

Rita Wilkins is an author, speaker, interior designer, lifestyle designer, and a woman who knows a thing or two about reinventing yourself after 50, 60, and beyond.

Rita spent more than four decades helping people create beautiful homes filled with beautiful things. But after a life-changing trip to Senegal, West Africa, where she witnessed people living joyfully with very few possessions, she began questioning everything she thought she knew about happiness and success.

Eventually, she made a radical decision. She downsized from a 5,000-square-foot home to an 867-square-foot apartment and gave away 95% of her belongings.

And guess what?

She didn't lose her life. She got more of it back.

Rita and I talk about the invisible baggage women carry—the expectations of our parents, our children, our partners, our communities, and even the younger versions of ourselves.

We ask some pretty provocative questions.

Who decided that a widow shouldn't fall in love again? Who says a woman in her 70s can't start a business, travel the world, or race a car at 140 miles an hour? And why do we keep holding on to houses, relationships, routines, and identities that no longer make us happy?

One of my favorite moments is when Rita introduces the idea of prototyping your life.

Think about it. When you're redesigning a kitchen, you don't have to knock down every wall before exploring your options. You look at possibilities. You experiment. You discover what you like.

Why shouldn't we approach our lives the same way?

You don't have to sell your house tomorrow, book a one-way ticket to Italy, or announce that you're becoming a professional belly dancer. (Although if that's your dream, honey, get yourself some sequins!)

You can start small. Try something new. Take a class. Visit a different place. Make a new friend. Rediscover something you loved before you became so busy taking care of everybody else.

We also explore Rita's wonderful reverse bucket list—a way of looking backward to remember the activities, passions, and experiences that once made you feel truly alive.

Because sometimes the answer to "What do I want to do next?" is hiding in something you loved doing when you were 17.

And then there's that sneaky little word that has stolen more dreams than we'd care to admit.

Someday.

Someday I'll travel. Someday I'll make new friends. Someday I'll write that book. Someday I'll finally do something just for me.

Well, Rita and I have a little news for you: Someday doesn't magically arrive. You have to decide to make it happen.

Of course, we also get into the tender stuff. Widowhood. Loneliness. Starting over. The fear of making changes when you've spent decades building a life that suddenly doesn't fit anymore.

And here's something important: Saying YES to yourself doesn't mean you have to rush. Grief has its own timeline. Reinvention has its own timeline. You get to decide when you're ready.

But you also deserve to know that your life is still full of possibility.

That's one of the reasons I started the Pink Lady Posse in the first place. After moving to a tiny town, far from the people I knew, I realized that if I was feeling lonely, other women probably were too.

I wanted a posse. Women who would show up for each other, laugh together, encourage each other, and remind one another that life isn't over just because we've collected a few birthdays.

Rita feels the same way. Whether she's speaking to women about downsizing, writing books, meeting new friends at coffee shops, or encouraging someone to try something they've always dreamed about, her message is clear:

You can design a life you love, no matter what chapter you're in.

Your best days don't have to be behind you. And you don't need anybody's permission to make the next ones fabulous.

💕 Join the free Pink Lady Posse Facebook community:https://www.facebook.com/pinkladyposse

🌸 Connect with Rita Wilkins and explore her books, videos, and lifestyle design resources: https://www.designservicesltd.com/

🌸 Connect with Rita Wilkins and explore her books, videos, and lifestyle design resources: [

And if this conversation makes you think of a girlfriend who's been putting herself last for far too long, send it to her.

Because women who refuse to disappear should stick together.

Lipstick on. Shoulders back. Let's go!

xo, Sandy

What if the very thing you've been told to tone down, hide, or apologize for is actually your greatest superpower? In this episode of A Wake Up Call with Lipstick, Sandy sits down with a gifted video storyteller who turned being called "too emotional" into a career helping people tell stories that move hearts, build connections, and inspire action.

Together, they explore why so many women are afraid to be seen, why a beautiful video means absolutely nothing if nobody feels anything, and how owning your story can free you from other people's expectations. From a nonprofit making dolls that reflect children with disabilities to Sandy's hilarious declaration that she's "too old to train," this conversation is full of humanity, humor, and unexpected wisdom.

And here's the delicious part: at 70, Sandy isn't winding down. She's writing new chapters. Because your past may explain where you've been, but it doesn't get to decide where you go next. Lipstick on. Shoulders back. Your story is still unfolding.

Website: https://pinkladyposse.com/

What if you don't need to fix yourself? What if you just need enough light to see what's actually getting in your way?

In this episode, Sandy explores a simple metaphor with a surprisingly powerful message: be the lighthouse.

A lighthouse doesn't move the rocks, calm the ocean, rescue every ship, or chase anyone down the coast. It stands where it is and shines. And for women who've spent decades being capable, responsible, helpful, and very good at grabbing the wrench the minute something feels off, that might be exactly the reminder we need.

Sandy explores how friction—overthinking, perfectionism, second-guessing, old stories, and other people's expectations—can create so much fog that we mistake difficulty for personal failure.

In this episode:

• Why a signal isn't the same thing as a judgment
• How friction can make life feel harder than it needs to
• Why you don't need to see the whole ocean—just the next thing
• How to stop steering other people's ships
• What happens when you stop chasing approval and start tending your own light
• The question that may change what you notice this week

🎧 Listen now, subscribe, and share this episode with a woman who needs permission to put down the wrench.

🦞 Get Peace Is More Expensive Than Lobster: wakeupcallwithlipstick.com

What if the goal isn’t to get rid of friction—but to change how you move through it?

Coming to you from a hotel room in Schulenburg, Texas—with no lipstick on, no less—this week’s episode is about being fluid when life doesn’t go according to plan. Because friction is going to happen.

There will be curves you didn’t create, wobbles that make you second-guess yourself, and grinders that quietly wear you down over time. But friction doesn’t have to mean something is wrong with you. Inspired by *Peace Is More Expensive Than Lobster: A Wake-Up Call with Lipstick*, we’re looking at what happens when you stop trying to fix every bump and simply learn to see it. Because once you can see the friction, you create space. And in that space, you have choice.

This week, look for friction in the wild. Notice the curves. Catch the wobbles. See the grinders. You don’t have to fight every bit of friction, Sister. Sometimes, you can just be fluid.

Wakeup Call With Lipstick: http://wakeupcallwithlipstick.com/

What happens when you publish a book, fly home from Greece, introduce the world to a six-foot lobster, watch your Amazon listing disappear at exactly the wrong moment, speak at multiple events—and just keep going?

Welcome to the first 10 days of Peace Is More Expensive Than Lobster.

This episode is a behind-the-scenes look at what it really felt like to bring this book into the world. And spoiler alert: it wasn't a perfectly orchestrated launch with everything tied up in a pretty little bow. There were beautiful surprises, celebrations, friends showing up, strangers wishing the book well, speaking opportunities, flowers from my sweetheart—and, yes, technology deciding to have a little tantrum on bestseller day.

Because apparently even a lobster book needs a plot twist.

But underneath all the fun is the reason I wrote this book in the first place.

I want women to stop asking:

“What’s wrong with me?”

And start asking:

“What’s getting in my way?”

Because those are two very different questions.

This book is about recognizing what’s standing between you and the bold, beautiful life you want—and deciding you’re ready to move anyway.

Peace Is More Expensive Than Lobster is available in two editions:

Black & White Edition — $12.99

Full Color Edition — $29.99

👉 Get the book: Click here

After purchasing, send your purchase confirmation to:

[email protected]

There may just be a little something waiting for you.

What if the thing standing between you and the life you actually want isn’t discipline, strategy, money, or another damn morning routine?

What if it’s an old belief that says you have to earn your joy?

In this wonderfully unplanned conversation, Sandy and Darcy get into what happens when women stop organizing their lives around obligation and start asking a much more interesting question: What do I actually want? From Greece and dolphins in Hawaii to childhood creativity, $20 million deals, lipstick, lobster, and the emotional baggage we’ve been hauling around since 1995, this episode is about noticing the friction that keeps us living on autopilot.

And maybe the answer isn’t fixing yourself. Maybe it’s putting down the wrench, following what lights you up, doing it messy, and giving yourself permission to say yes—today.

Because peace may be more expensive than lobster, but overriding yourself costs even more.

Book: https://xoxoleadslab.com/xoxo-sandy-waitlist-page

When Your Finger Hovers Over “Book Now”

Recorded from Greece, this episode explores that tiny, familiar moment when you’re about to choose something you want—and suddenly, you hesitate.

Maybe it really is a trip. Or maybe your “Book Now” button is a class, a conversation, a pair of ridiculous pink shoes, a much-needed no, or a long-overdue yes.

That moment of hesitation can sound surprisingly reasonable: Maybe I should wait. Is this really the right time? What will people think?

But is that wisdom talking—or friction?

Sandy explores how these small moments of hesitation can reveal the invisible rules, habits, expectations, and fears that quietly influence our choices. Rather than pushing through them or automatically obeying them, she offers a different approach: notice the hover.

Because instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” you can ask a much more useful question:

“What’s getting in my way?”

And once you can see what’s in the way, you can get back to something that belongs entirely to you:

Your SAY.

Go to wakeupcallwithlipstick.com

And get the latest about the release of peace is more expensive than lobster 🦞

What if the thing standing between you and the life you want isn’t actually fear—but all the meaning you’ve piled on top of it?

In this episode of Wake Up Call With Lipstick, Sandy sits down with Shoshana Kaplan, co-founder of Pifster, a pay-it-forward community turning pocket change into real help for people doing good in their communities. Shoshana went from spending 38 years behind the scenes as a film and television makeup artist—including heading hair and makeup for Dancing with the Stars—to becoming the very visible voice of an idea she couldn’t stop believing in. And yes, visibility brought fear along for the ride.

Together, Sandy and Shoshana get wonderfully real about the friction that quietly shrinks our lives: shrinking, avoiding, accommodating, overdelivering, perfectionism, comparison, and fear. The answer isn’t to become fearless. It’s to notice the drag, stop making every curve mean something terrible about you, return to your own say—and move anyway.

Lipstick on. Shoulders back. Fear can sit in the passenger seat, but sister, it is not touching the steering wheel.

Sandy Parker Martinez

Shoshana Kaplan: PIFster.org

There are things we genuinely cannot do. And then there are the things we’ve practiced not doing for so long that “I can’t” starts sounding suspiciously like a fact.

In this episode, Sandy sits down with author, writing teacher, astrologer, and gloriously multidimensional human Romana Rocks for a conversation about creativity, visibility, structure, publishing—and the invisible walls we construct between ourselves and the thing we actually want.

Sandy shares the moment a physical therapist told her, “Your knees are ready. Your brain is not.” After decades of walking around buildings rather than stepping onto a curb, six inches had become a wall. And really… how many six-inch walls are we walking around in the rest of our lives?

Romana brings the same idea to writing: stop waiting to magically feel ready. Give the dream some structure. Learn what you don't know. Take the next step. And perhaps most importantly? Laugh daily. On purpose.

Because sometimes courage looks like publishing the book.

And sometimes it looks like stepping onto the dang curb.

sandyparkermartinez.com/magazine