We discuss the three Pinocchio movies released in 2022. Disney's, starring Tom Hanks and directed by Robert Zemeckis; Netflix's, co-directed and co-written by Guillermo del Toro; and most importantly, "A True Story," the Russian dub starring Pauly Shore and John Heder. We question our life choices and decisions. Plus, some brief thoughts on Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania.