Content Disclaimer: This episode contains candid discussion of sexual assault, rape, and trauma. Please take care while listening, and feel free to skip ahead if these topics are difficult for you.

If you or someone you know needs support, help is available

You are not alone, we see you and support is available whenever you're ready.

Episode Description

In this raw and vulnerable episode, The Pleasure Bound hosts dive into a topic they've never tackled before: what it was like to have sex for the first time after acquiring disabilities. Kate & Kelsey share deeply personal stories of disconnect, fear, trauma, and eventual reclamation of pleasure — from years of celibacy and to the empowering, and tender moments of reconnecting with their sexuality. Along the way, they explore consent and assault, redefining "promiscuous," navigating trauma responses, self-touch and mirror work, ableism within families, the importance of invitation and inclusion for disabled people, and finding a sense of divine self-worth through intimacy. It's a conversation about grief, patience, connection, and the radical act of choosing pleasure and yourself again.

Timestamps

(0:00) – Opening music and “hello’s”

(1:18) – Intro topic: losing our "quadginity"

(2:13) – How long were you celibate after injury?

(3:00) – Kate’s First relationship, sexual assault, and open conversations about sex

(5:10) – What’s behind the drive for sex, and shifting from celibacy to sexploration

(7:20) – Trauma, caregivers, and disconnection from sexuality

(9:00) – Discovering community: Pure Romance Party

(10:15) – Getting back into online dating

(12:26) – Kate’s first post-injury hookup

(14:20) – The beast awakened — wanting more

(15:50) – Kelsey’s accident story & 5 years of disconnection post injury

(17:35) – Grief, "what's the point," and reintroducing a vibrator

(20:37) – Finally deciding "I'm gonna do this" – navigating confidence and feeling sexy again

(22:50) – How do we hold “Top” energy in physically submissive bodies

(25:20) – Kelsey on Losing her "quadginity"

(27:43) – The word promiscuous vs. reclaiming "slut"

(29:30) – First time back: sparks, satisfaction, and validation

(33:03) – Squashing internalized ableism through intimacy

(35:30) – Feeling like your "most divine self" during sex

(36:50) – Being a tool/resource vs. shared connection

(37:50) – Bathroom talk, Late-night talks, catheters, care & connection

(40:38) – The power of touch and physical closeness

(41:16) – The importance of being invited, not assuming exclusion is easier

(46:22) – Navigating ableism within family relationships

(49:53) – Stepping back into Sex after trauma - Reintegration, patience, and reconnecting with the body

(52:20) – navigating blocks with Mirror work, self-touch, and feeling safe again

(56:35) – Motherhood, magnetism, and future partners

(57:51) – Looking ahead: Kate’s paralyzed pregnancy, birth story and more conversations to come

(58:48) – Closing thoughts and outro

Gabriel Rodreick “Freaque” — musician, dancer, & creator behind A Cripple's Dance — joins the show for an unfiltered conversation about pleasure, disability, and creative reinvention. He traces his journey from a piano-playing, barefoot Minneapolis kid to a 33-year-old artist living with a C5 spinal cord injury, sharing how he rebuilt his singing voice, found his sound again and turned grief into art.

The conversation moves through the vulnerability of A Cripple's Dance, the shame tangled up in songs like "Drip For Me" and "Mudstick," and how his creative inspiration is shifting from "the mud" of grief toward fire, heat, and sensuality. Gabe opens up about exploring kink and polyamory as a disabled person, the courage it takes to be playful and imperfect in intimacy, and why "no" never has to kill the vibe. It's a raw, funny, and moving look at pleasure, art, and the magic that can be created when you follow what feels good.

Resources: 

Freaque (Gabriel Rodreick) - https://gabrielrodreick.com/freaque

Instagram - Freaquedom

Minnesota Arts High School - Perpich -  https://share.google/ueZHjgki7kw9nM5gb

Ray Lamontagne https://share.google/uquQoz5qzS6nJaQQp

move me documentary - Kelsey Peterson https://share.google/2njGLQJx2jicGpJ7T

Young Dance – Transforming Lives Through Movement https://share.google/FQOArXa8XZwmjjaJe

Episode Timestamps

(0:00) – Intro

(1:08) – Welcome, Gabriel “Freaque” Rodreick 

(2:14) – Pleasure and joy in childhood

(3:40) – Early song writing, first album and the Accident

(5:12) – Attending Art School shortly after his injury

(6:37) – Finding his voice through Ray LaMontagne

(7:48) – Starting the band Treading North

(9:15) – Founding Freaque and A Cripple's Dance

(14:26) – Living in a Disabled Body

(17:19) – Art as activism & the healing in Truth- Telling

(21:08) – Teaching and supporting others' stories

(23:34) – A Cripple's Dance

(27:50) – Pain, pleasure, and shifting inspiration

(29:39) – From Mud to Fire - Creative Evolution

(32:39) – Writing "Drip For Me" and confronting shame

(37:50) – Finding pleasure today

(40:14) – Exploring kink and polyamory

(41:29) – Play as his North Star

(44:59) – Courage, bravery, and being a goofball

(48:20) – Consent and "no" in play 

(51:01) – Sound, voice, and sensuality

(55:07) – Closing thoughts, hopes, and advice

(57:03) – Music send-off “Drip For Me” by, Freaque

Episode Description:

Kate and Kelsey reunite for episode 13 of Pleasure Bound, reflecting on how far they've come since starting this journey together. They dive deep into the dance between pleasure and pain — from grief and chronic pain to redefining safety, boundaries, and self-worth. The conversation moves through vulnerability, disability and community, radical self-acceptance, and the courage it takes to share your truth publicly. They also open up about care, autonomy, and what it means to reclaim joy as the engine behind everything they do — before teasing an upcoming episode with musician Freaque (Gabriel Rodreick), creator of their theme song "Drip For Me." A raw, funny, and moving conversation about pleasure as a practice, not a destination.

Timestamps

00:00 – Reunion & catching up 

00:28 – Reflecting on 13 episodes of growth

01:13 – Awareness + Pleasure practice = Radical Self-love

02:23 – Pain and pleasure as an art process 

4:52 – Finding intimacy with pain- the exquisite heartache

5:30 – Redirecting pain into sensation

7:57 – How the podcast has gifted autonomy and freedom

9:23 – Unapologetic truth-telling as "Stevie Nicks energy"

11:32 – Sharing your truth as a spiritual exercise

13:10– Moving through life with Joy & reclaiming peace

15:44 – Why "Pleasure Bound" is the perfect name

17:25 – Kate on trauma, safety, and self-worth

19:51 – Being selective with your energy

21:30 – Sovereignty as a disabled woman

23:20 – Security! Self-Advocacy v Sacrifice in Home Care

24:53 – Being grateful without spiritually bypassing hard truths

26:10 – The realities of being quadriplegic

26:57 – Community with disabled peers (callback to the Jim episode)

28:50 – Radical self-love (Sonya Renee Taylor)

29:20 – "This is a call for love. Are we gonna show up for it?"

32:48 – Kelsey’s Major highlight of the journey

36:37 – Teaser: Freaque (Gabriel Rodrick) joining soon

37:34 – Artistic spaces and creative freedom

38:57 – Letting your freak flag fly

40:12 – Vulnerable caregiver/mirror story

41:53 – Closing reflections and gratitude

42:43 – Sign-off

References:

Freaque (Gabriel Rodreick) - https://gabrielrodreick.com/freaque

A Course in Miracles - https://acim.org/acim/en

12.Where Shame Dies: Disability, Desire & the Radical Power of Being Fully Seen (feat. Trista Marie)

In this deeply moving episode of Pleasure Bound, Kelsey & Kate sit with author, model, and disability advocate Trista Marie to explore what it means to embody pleasure, sexuality, and self-acceptance in a body the world often refuses to see as desirable. Trista opens up about the origins of her book "Where Shame Dies," living with scoliosis and chronic respiratory failure, and the years of desensitization it took to stop internalizing ableism as her own problem. The conversation moves through modeling and vulnerability, the healing power of queer and non-monogamous friendships ("kissing the homies"), navigating intimacy and rejection in dating, and the radical joy of claiming her own bossiness and pleasure on her own terms. It's a raw, funny, and profound conversation about resistance, desire, and what a more accessible, loving future could look like.

Timestamps

(0:00) — “Let’s talk about sex” clip 

(1:30) — Intro

(3:35) — Introducing Trista, disability & sexuality advocacy work

(6:30) — Naming her disabilities

(8:14) — Current creative projects & the weight of Pioneering

(13:20) — The meaning behind "Where Shame Dies"

(15:24) — Where the accumulation of shame came from

(16:30) — Unlearning internalized ableism

(24:21) — Modeling, boudoir & seeing herself as beautiful

(27:50) — Desensitization as armor & self-preservation

(29:55) — Filtration systems & who you let in

(33:24) — Pleasure & Friendship – fluid relationship opportunities

(38:00) — Queerness- an invitation for more love

(40:55) — "I don't want to tell you" — physical intimacy & being truly seen

(44:33) — The "dark magic" of being seen but not seen

(50:03) — Fantasizing about the future of pleasure

(54:52) — Are humans evolving toward greater acceptance?

(59:39) — What Kelsey & Kate have learned from doing this work

(1:02:00) — Redefining pleasure with no limits or normalization

(1:04:37) — Talking about sex and owning bossiness in the bedroom

(1:06:20) — Closing thoughts & goodbyes

Resources: 

https://www.tristamarie.com/

Where Shame Dies - https://www.tristamarie.com/disability-x-sexuality

In Episode 11 Kelsey and Kate talk about what happens when you stop ignoring the agitation — and actually listen. From stalled pleasure practices and overcommitted calendars to the unexpected joy of missing out (JOMO), this episode is a raw, honest, and heart-felt conversation about integration, presence, and redefining what pleasure actually looks like in daily life.

They dig into the pressure to perform, the exhaustion of chasing outcomes (in the bedroom and beyond), and how detaching from the destination opens up a whole new sensual landscape. Plus: friendship love languages, the power of tending your ecosystem, and why sometimes you just need to give someone a dildo and tell them they're pretty.

Kelsey shares her deep dive into a more integrated, moment-to-moment pleasure practice — and the grief, horniness, and hard-won agency that got her there. Kate opens up about survival mode, solo time she can't seem to carve out, and what it means to close a chapter while standing at the edge of a new one.

This episode is about making pleasure a way of being, not a box to check.

Resources:

Kate's Quad friendly cl!t stimulator - The Satisfyer

Kelsey's Quad friendly cl!t stimulator - The Womanizer

Dipsea app - https://www.dipseastories.com/

Adrianne Marie Brown 

Gabriel Rodreick - Freaque

The Four Agreements – don Miguel Ruiz

Timestamps:

(0:00) — Intro – What’s Coming Up

(2:16) — Integration & Pleasure

(4:12) — Kate on being out of Practice & Self-judgment 

(5:20) — JOMO Over FOMO: Honoring Your Body

(9:09) — Kelsey on Analysis of Agitation, Horniness, and Taking back Agency

(13:12)— Self-Pleasure & Gifting Joy in the Shape of a Vibrator

(14:25) — Prioritizing Female Pleasure Through the Ages

(16:30) — Exploring a new Toys & Brain Plasticity in real time

(19:02) — The Scenic Route: Non-Linear Self-Pleasure

(21:31) — Detachment from Outcome in Pleasure & Life

(24:10) — Eroticism of loving on YOU 

(29:28) — Trusting the process, Gratitude, Enough-ness

(32:25) — Comparison culture, Speak with Love - your cells are listening

(35:23) — Integration, Grief & Living a Sensuous life

(38:19) — Resistance to Hustle Culture & Marketing

(42:06) — Reframing Currency & Reimagining Society

(44:55) — Kate on turning 37, closing chapters, and gifts that don't come with credentials

(48:15) — Kelsey on her gift & new offering

(49:15) — The Snails Journey – Maintaining a Healthy Ecosystem

(54:04) — We Are the Fish (a ChatGPT poem that absolutely slaps)

(56:35) — Body Grief, Living Fully, Movement & Surrender

(59:55) — Power of Visualization & Holistic Pleasure

(1:02:44) — No Regrets – Reflections on our Able-bodied bodies

(1:05:40) — Outro: The best is yet to come

Episode Description:

In this episode, we're joined by the incomparable Jim LeBrecht — filmmaker, disability rights activist, Oscar-nominated co-director of Crip Camp, sound design legend, and all-around beautiful human. What unfolds is a raw, honest, and super fun conversation about pleasure, disability, intimacy, and what it means to show up as your full, unapologetic self.

Jim opens up publicly for the first time since his film about the intimate aspects of his life — from navigating sex and connection with spina bifida, to discovering new erogenous zones, redefining what getting off looks like, and learning to receive without apology. Together we talk about the body as a site of curiosity rather than shame, the erotic power of paying attention, and why disability can actually invite a deeper, more intentional kind of intimacy.

We also dig into the power of humor, the magic of Camp Jened &  similar connections with our community, and why "not overcoming, but becoming" might be the most radical thing any of us can do.

This one is tender, sexy, joyful, and genuinely moving. We are so honored Jim trusted us with his story.

TimeStamps:

(0:00) — GoFundMe ask

(0:28) — Intro & episode framing: loving your evolving body & your own brand of weird

(3:44) — Welcome Jim LeBrecht

(5:15) — Crip Camp & The power of Representation

(7:35) — Sound as pleasure: how Jim's love of sound began

(9:01) — Spina bifida, early hospitalization & heightened listening

(11:09) — Disability, neurodivergence & being accepted as you are

(12:50) — Setting limits & comfort in crip community

(15:23) — Not expecting to get this old — real talk on aging disabled bodies

(16:09) — Camp Jened, Judy Heumann & developing disability pride

(19:36) — Inviting in the weird — how we approach new lovers (the "reveal")

(22:09) — "No apologies for your body" — reframing the conversation

(25:11) — Rejection & Protection — accepting your truths through dropping your baggage

(27:55) — The Sensation game we all love to play

(29:04) — Defining the weird with playful curiosity

(30:39) — Jim's honest breakdown of pleasure, sensation & what gets him off

(32:36) — Leaning into new erogenous zones & exploring new paths to arousal

(33:45) — Pleasure from Giving Pleasure

(35:49) — Expanding erogenous zones & sensual experiences = orgasmic newness

(37:42) — Discovering hands-free orgasms, Dipsea, and erotic audio

(38:59) — ASMR, whispering, and sound as an erogenous zone

(40:15) — Jim as a paraplegic — what his body does and doesn't feel

(42:07) — The evolution of Pleasure, sensation lines, mental arousal & Jim's version of coming

(46:29) — Disability as an invitation to intentional, curious intimacy

(49:18) — The Disabled Desires We Deserve to experience

(53:29) — The mirror on the ceiling (it's not what you think... or is it)

(55:40) — You have to truly see yourself before you can be fully seen

(56:55) — Camp Jened, crabs, and Jim's first girlfriend

(58:49) — "The Body Is Not An Apology" & Sonya Renee Taylor

(1:00:09) — Disability pride, self-acceptance & the days you still don't feel it

(1:01:20) — Not overcoming — Becoming

(1:04:11) — The weight that lifts when you ask for help

(1:07:14) — Closing: love, gratitude & Jim coming back for part two

References:

Pleasure Bound GoFundMe - Donate Here

Crip Camp - A Disability Revolution (2020) - https://cripcamp.com/

Move Me Documentary (2022) - https://www.movemedoc.com/

The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor https://www.sonyareneetaylor.com/the-body-is-not-an-apology/

Dipsea app - https://www.dipseastories.com/

Episode 9 - Rage, Release, and Reclaiming your “Nasty”

Episode Description:

Episode 9 is equal parts triumphant, tender, and delightfully raunchy. We kick things off with a raw conversation about processing anger — adult temper tantrums, breathwork, and why letting yourself be pissed off is actually good for you. Kate shares a major PT win, which sparks a deep dive into the delicate dance of hope after disability, and the slippery slope of not letting the ‘desire for more’ eclipse the fullness of life as it is.

Then things get spicy. Kate recaps her experience at a kink event: the furniture, the trust, the playmates, the paddle, and the unexpected (and very welcome) orgasm she had in a room full of people. We talk about what it means to claim space, advocate for your desires, and rediscover power through curious surrender.

Kelsey shares her experience with the Dipsea app, hands-free exploration, and a "baby orgasm" she wasn't totally expecting. We wrap up with a candid conversation about sacred sexuality, social media vulnerability, building a pleasure practice, and the great debate on what to call the lady bits.

Equal parts real talk and ridiculous fun. As always, we're messy, unapologetic, and on the path to pleasure as we learn to expand what it means to LOVE the bodies we live in

Timestamps:

(0:00) – Intro

(0:46) – Frustration to Gratitude - Rage & Release 

(1:17) – Adult temper tantrums: Breathwork, Screaming, Shaking

(2:25) – Anger is valid — let yourself Feel it but don’t live there

(5:24) – Kate's major PT win

(7:53) – Emotional moments & Gratitude for this Body 

(10:30) – The tricky dance with Hope after acquiring a disability

(12:00) – "My life no longer revolves around a cure" — Kelsey on detaching from the outcome

(13:27) – Celebrate little wins without letting it consume you

(17:25) – Homework check-in: Kate gets kinky

(19:00) – Putting on the hat, Navigating the space & diving into desire

(23:20) – Choosing the furniture and advocating for her desires

(24:55) – The scene unfolds: supportive playmates, Sensual exploration and feeling powerful

(28:13) – Dirty details leading to Blast off

(33:35) –  Coming back down to Earth & Confidence Reset after One bad blow-job

(35:00) – Claiming Sensual agency and the Reclamation of Queen energy

(38:00) – Sacred f*cks, social media vulnerability, and choosing who gets access to your body AND your Story

(40:35) – The containers we create for sharing our Sacred, Sexy, Selves

(43:20) – Building the pleasure Rolodex and showing up for yourself

(44:40) – Kelsey's homework: the Dipsea app and erotic audio stories

(45:33) – Access to Fantasy, imagination, and what we're missing out on

(47:50) – Kelsey has a baby - Hands-free orgasm achieved

(49:35) – Yucks and yums in dirty talk — "that's my girl" = a hard no

(51:20) – The great vagina vocabulary debate: kitty, yoni, beaver, or... basement?

(55:15) – Wrapping up: what Kate & Kelsey are working on for the week

(59:12) – Outro

Resources:

Dipsea app - https://www.dipseastories.com/

Dipsea app - TED talk https://www.ted.com/talks/gina_gutierrez_the_relationship_between_sex_and_imagination

Mystery cults Substack - https://amandayatesgarcia.substack.com/

Pleasure Bound Substack - https://carecollective.substack.com/?utm_source=global-search

Pleasure, Pain & Overcoming Overwhelm

Life can be beautiful and brutal at the same time — and this episode holds space for both.In a tender, raw, and deeply human conversation, Kelsey and Kate explore  their relationships  with pleasure during seasons of exhaustion, pain, and overwhelm. 

Together they get honest about intimacy, dissociation, desire, and the longing to feel fully present in their bodies again. 

Kelsey shares how she's been reconnecting through water — as a tool for intentionality, nervous system regulation, and moving through life with more care and awareness. Kate opens up about her desire for a Rolodex of care-minded fuck buddies, and what we're really craving when we want to "fuck the pain away."

From sensuality and overwhelm to embodiment, disability, and the exhausting mental load of directing your own care — this episode is a space for the messy, nuanced reality of pleasure as both refuge and reconnection. Plus: a surprisingly profound extended ice cream metaphor, you won't want to miss!

Raw, reflective, and deeply human — this conversation invites you to ask: what does pleasure look like for you right now, and what would it mean to come back home to yourself with intention?

Content note: This episode touches on pain management, substance use, and numbing behaviors. If you're struggling, you are not alone — please reach out to a trusted resource or helpline. 24/7 helpline 844-289-0879

References:

Dr Emoto Hidden Messages of Water book - Dr. Emoto Hidden Messages of Water

Francis Weller, The Wild Edge of Sorrow - https://www.francisweller.net/books.html

Sinners Movie - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt31193180/

Dipsea app for sultry stories- https://www.dipseastories.com/

Substance Abuse and Addiction Hotline- 24/7 helpline 844-289-0879

Time Stamps

(0:00) – Cold open: Kate's poem about power & disability

(1:17) – Intro: Accessing pleasure in times of pain, burnout & overwhelm

(2:42) – Check-in: How they're each arriving (tired, overstimulated, survival mode)

(4:07) – Balancing Productivity, Pressure & Pleasure 

(9:19) – Survival Tip: Pleasure doesn't have to be big

(12:00) – Nature as medicine: trees, Mabel, grounding rituals

(15:09) – Channeling Tina Turner & calling in divine help

(18:20) – Kelsey's go-tos: grief, pain, isolation & connecting with water

(23:55) – Dr. Emoto & the healing power of water; whispering intentions into tea

(26:00) – Kate's go-tos: Ho'oponopono: talking to your body in pain

(29:35) – Pain relief: shame, fear of addiction & Numbing vs. Conscious relief

(34:29) — What’s underneath the urge to "want to fuck it away”

(38:11) — Kelsey's turning point: grief group, dance improv, The Wild Edge of Sorrow

(41:50) — "It doesn't have to be overcoming" — inviting pain to the table instead

(43:33) – The healing that comes through authentic connection, art and community

(46:01) – The exhaustion of directing: disability, caregivers & communicating every need

(49:49) – The Rolodex fantasy: needs, connection & “care fucking”

(56:50) – Ableism in dating & the fear of not being enough for a partner

(1:01:25) – Challenging conditioned thinking, Pleasure as Power

(1:03:41) – Homework time: how are you finding pleasure this week?

(1:03:47) — Kelsey: Dipsea app, self-pleasure & exploring orgasm in a new body without pressure

(1:06:15) — Kate: masturbation as medicine, breathwork orgasms & the ice cream metaphor

(1:10:00) – Ice cream as a metaphor for self-pleasure & exploration

(1:13:06) — Outro

Episode 7 is a slow burn—opening with Kelsey showing Kate her incense ritual, lighting it from between her lips—setting the tone for a conversation that’s honest, raw, and just a little dirty. This week, they dive into re-sensualization and the hot mess, highs, and lows along the path of adventurous pleasure. Together, they explore the possibilities—and risks—of taking pleasure too far, and what happens when we get caught in the moment and override our body’s cues.

Kelsey shares the climactic consequences of slowing down and following her senses—literally—in the tub, and how these conversations and “pleasure practices” can guide both body and mind toward deeper regulation and peace. Kate opens up about riding the waves of life “reverse cowgirl style,” reflecting on how her self-pleasure practice as a single quad has evolved as she rewrites her relationship with trust. She speaks candidly about the fear of repeating old patterns with new partners, and how learning to listen to her body is teaching her entirely new ways to feel.

Together, they unpack coping strategies for overwhelm and the dual nature of fantasy—how it can both disconnect us from ourselves and expand us into something more.

References -

Thoth Tarot Deck Large book by Aleister Crowley https://share.google/bovpzFUjgyb7P0vkR

FetLife - https://share.google/aG59SPIno8tFZLvsC

Barbie Girl Song - Aqua. “Barbie Girl.” Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/track/7atIHMnLUJ5ikdnosz1GwU

The Quad Squad - https://www.facebook.com/groups/768461760410189/ (Awesome FB group with a pre-requisite of quadriplegia)

Timestamps -

(00:00) – Sexy, Skilled Incense Ritual 

(01:47) – Intro

(02:06) – Tarot Cards & Embodied Truth

(04:05) – Kate’s Truth: Surviving (and riding) the chaos—Pleasure in the Mess 

(06:35) – Disability, Sex & Safety listening to the body—navigating limits

(09:04) – Orgasmic reflections & Truths of taking things too far

(13:09) – Self-Pleasure milestones - Orgasms in the bathtub

(15:45) – Celebrating changes since the start of PB

(18:45) – The Gift of Slow Sensual Awareness 

(24:00) – Fantasy: Liberation vs. Erasure

(29:25) – Erotic imagination, Accessibility, and New Portals to Pleasure  

(32:32) – Exploring the Excitement accompanied by New sexual experiences

(36:09) – Self-pleasure, Independence, and Fear around future partners 

(42:40) – Dirty, divine, and embodied—Reclaiming all parts of self 

(44:00) – Kink, Platonic intimacy & Redefining connection beyond sex

(48:13) – Physical Connection & Touch Post-Paralysis

(51:52) – Rediscovering Sensation, Pleasure & the Body

(53:14) – Playing with definitions of Spaces & Relations 

(56:27) – Homework & Wrap-Up

Welcome back, Pleasure Rebels! In Episode 6 (SEX), Kate and Kelsey are getting real, raw, and unapologetically honest. Kelsey shares a major milestone — her first orgasm with a partner post-injury — and what made that experience so expansive. From toy use and lube talk to autonomic dysreflexia and the art of checking in, they get into the nitty-gritty of navigating sex with a disability.

The conversation goes deeper as Kate and Kelsey explore the shame around needing help, the radical power of receiving care, and how giving and receiving are truly symbiotic. Kate opens up about learning to feel safe in her body for the first time, navigating caregiving relationships, advocating for herself during vulnerable moments, and what it means to have sober sex — possibly for the first time in her adult life.

They also dive into fantasies (and realizing whose might be ableist), the magic of long-distance intimacy, bridging fantasy into physical reality, the "Sacred Blow Job" guide, and why weird sex might just be the best sex.

Honest, messy, and always pleasure-forward — this one's a ride.

References:

Layla Martin's Sacred Blowjob Guide - https://laylamartin.com/blowjob-guide

Body safe lube - https://getmaude.com/collections/lubricant

Timestamps:

(0:00) — Intro & Welcome to Episode SEX

(0:51) — Episode topics preview: fantasies, sexy times, care & more

(2:41) — Catching up: Kelsey's sexy holiday visitor

(4:00) — Milestone moment: First orgasm with a partner post-injury

(5:55) — Using a toy with a partner for the first time & dropping the ego

(7:26) — Going too hard & learning the limits of autonomic dysreflexia

(11:01) — Lube talk: water-based vs. silicone, and why it matters

(13:42) — The shame of needing help & care as our ultimate currency

(16:41) — Giving and receiving as symbiotic acts

(19:43) — Kate on lacking safety, finding it & redifining

(23:52) — Navigating caregiver relationships & intimacy

(26:36) — Advocating for your body with a caregiver — even when it's scary

(31:02) — Transitioning to: fantasies & long-distance intimacy

(31:23) — When your own fantasies are ableist (and what changed that)

(34:19) — Bridging fantasy into physical reality: their first meeting

(39:35) — The Sacred Blow Job guide & creative positioning

(45:47) — Quad sex = weird sex? Embracing unconventional pleasure

(48:29) — Kate opens up about HSV, disclosure, and navigating intimacy

(52:21) — Kink as shadow work & the power of leaning into discomfort

(54:24) — Sober sex for the first time as a disabled adult

(58:01) — Brainstorming how to ride the d (pool sex & slow motion)

(59:55) — Teaser for next episode: sensation & sex as a quad

(1:01:30) — Outro