Darren & Paige at a Pink Concert

We thought the topic of depression and anxiety was important to cover because Paige suffers from clinical depression and Darren has suffered from situational depression in the past. In this episode, we talk about tools to help your spouse through their depression, how to identify the difference between the situational and clinical depression, and how to decrease the triggers that contribute to depression and anxiety.

The Stigma of Depression and Anxiety

• Attitudes toward depression have changed over the years.
• Darren's Mom and her fight with Post-Partum depression after her last child.
• Situational Depression
  • Triggers of Depression (divorce, loss of a job,  the death of a close friend, a serious accident, moving, or other major life changes, such as retirement)
• Clinical Depression
  • This is not easily overcome. 
  • No one knows what causes it. Neurotransmitters may be to blame.

How to help your Spouse

• Hard to know what to do when your spouse is depressed.
• Sometimes they want to talk to you about it, sometimes not. It is hard to tell. Be patient.
• Open Communication is key. If you have already established a strong open communication then you can more easily talk about their depression.
• Do not judge, just be patient and try to lift the day to day burdens they might have. 
• Know when it is time to help them get out of bed. With kindness
• Read the environment, find out what helps. The little victories are really big.

How to help yourself

• Gratitude Journal, focusing on the positive things in life is important to overcome the feelings of hopelessness that you may be experiencing.
• Take care of yourself, exercise, get outside, eat well.
  • A simple walk around the block can do wonders for you.
• Change the lighting in your house. More windows, light with broader spectrum mimics sunlight.
• Get good sleep.
• Serve other people.
• Forgive yourself and others.
• Reach for a higher power.
• Seek a good therapist that teaches you techniques not just listens to you complain.
• Seek medical advice. Find out what is really going on. Blood work might be needed. We found a functional doctor that looked at all of your systems was best. 
• Do NOT be afraid to be on medication if necessary. No shame in being on medication.
• Find a little thing that you can accomplish. Just to make you feel like you did something productive. Ironing Darren's shirts or doing the laundry.

Funny Moment of the Week

We are headed on a family trip which includes an airplane flight from San Fransisco to Boston. We were talking to the kids about what they are most excited about and David our youngest said he is very excited to sit next to a stranger on the airplane. :) So whoever was in seat 25F from SFO to BOS, hope you had a good time sitting next to a 12-year-old boy that wanted to talk. :)  

Links

• https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314698.php
• https://adaa.org/finding-help/helping-others/spouse-or-partner
• https://www.psycom.net/help-partner-deal-with-depression/

Waiting to enter Pink Concert

Nice kiss at the concert. Notice Darren's earplugs.