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PODCAST - THE DARK LORD'S DISPATCH
HELL'S THRONE ROOM — Friday, September 12, 2025
THE WEEK DEMOCRACY JUMPED INTO A SEWAGE POND WHILE NATO WENT TO WAR
In this week's explosive fucking episode of The Dark Lord's Dispatch, Satan experiences a complete mental breakdown as reality out-evils Hell itself. Charlie Kirk—that racist, misogynist piece of shit who spent years mainstreaming incel ideology and creating stochastic terrorists—gets assassinated at Utah Valley University, and Trump responds by giving him the Presidential Medal of Freedom and lowering flags to half-staff. Meanwhile, NATO shoots down Russian drones over Poland for the first time since the Ukraine war started, marking an actual military engagement between NATO and Russia while Trump tweets "Here we go!" like it's a fucking game show. Workers at Trump's prized Hyundai plant literally jump into SEWAGE PONDS to escape ICE raids at the very factory he brags about as economic success. Satan rages about being professionally outdone by human incompetence, explaining how his artistic approach to corruption over centuries has been surpassed by these "ham-fisted amateurs" achieving concentrated evil through sheer stupidity.
The episode features Lilith's special rage report "The Cock Blockade," where she dissects how the manosphere seized control of American reproduction while everyone argued about pronouns, with Kirk as their suit-wearing ambassador who laundered incel ideology for suburban consumption. The cosmic punchline? Jesus personally processed Kirk's Hell placement—first time in centuries Heaven and Hell agreed without a tribunal. Satan's taking Lilith to Kirk's orientation because she's "perfect for explaining his eternal accommodations." The episode closes with Satan gleefully planning Kirk's punishments: eternal diversity training, being surrounded by powerful women who ignore him, and getting ratio'd on Twitter-X forever while unable to delete his account. As Satan notes: "I corrupt through whispers, not bullets. These fuckers achieved more evil through sheer stupidity than I managed through millennia of careful planning."
Listen in, if you dare…
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit authordanielpdouglas.substack.com
View all episodes
By SatanHELL'S THRONE ROOM — Friday, September 12, 2025
THE WEEK DEMOCRACY JUMPED INTO A SEWAGE POND WHILE NATO WENT TO WAR
In this week's explosive fucking episode of The Dark Lord's Dispatch, Satan experiences a complete mental breakdown as reality out-evils Hell itself. Charlie Kirk—that racist, misogynist piece of shit who spent years mainstreaming incel ideology and creating stochastic terrorists—gets assassinated at Utah Valley University, and Trump responds by giving him the Presidential Medal of Freedom and lowering flags to half-staff. Meanwhile, NATO shoots down Russian drones over Poland for the first time since the Ukraine war started, marking an actual military engagement between NATO and Russia while Trump tweets "Here we go!" like it's a fucking game show. Workers at Trump's prized Hyundai plant literally jump into SEWAGE PONDS to escape ICE raids at the very factory he brags about as economic success. Satan rages about being professionally outdone by human incompetence, explaining how his artistic approach to corruption over centuries has been surpassed by these "ham-fisted amateurs" achieving concentrated evil through sheer stupidity.
The episode features Lilith's special rage report "The Cock Blockade," where she dissects how the manosphere seized control of American reproduction while everyone argued about pronouns, with Kirk as their suit-wearing ambassador who laundered incel ideology for suburban consumption. The cosmic punchline? Jesus personally processed Kirk's Hell placement—first time in centuries Heaven and Hell agreed without a tribunal. Satan's taking Lilith to Kirk's orientation because she's "perfect for explaining his eternal accommodations." The episode closes with Satan gleefully planning Kirk's punishments: eternal diversity training, being surrounded by powerful women who ignore him, and getting ratio'd on Twitter-X forever while unable to delete his account. As Satan notes: "I corrupt through whispers, not bullets. These fuckers achieved more evil through sheer stupidity than I managed through millennia of careful planning."
Listen in, if you dare…
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit authordanielpdouglas.substack.com