The words of my poetry move through me when I'm processing emotions or when I'm responding to something in the world. This poem poured out of me from a question someone asked me. I didn’t really understand the context of the question, the intention behind the question or even what was being asked, yet it felt like a question that I didn’t need to answer directly to the other person, but instead a question I needed to ask myself. This is the answer that came.

You’re asking me is this real?

You’re wondering if I know what you feel

Or can time heal 

The deepest of wounds

The cracks that we try not to show

When it’s what allowed us to grow

Because only by the cracks can we see the light

Can I see you guiding me through the night

Because we are a mess

Yet, how deeply we’ve been blessed

Because I know I’m where you are 

You’re where I am 

Even if it appears to make nosense

Even with every where that I went 

To try to forget

I did neglect my heart

When at last I stopped running

From the prison only I have built

From the walls only I put up 

Brick by brick 

It takes vulnerability to kick them down

Then maybe I’m not destined to live underground

Live in a cage

It’s because I’ve been afraid

Of the sins of my name 

I keep taking on the blame for the old me

Forgetting that by nature I’m already free

So if I trust this

Would I not be destined for bliss?

If I trusted love

Would that not be enough? 

If I didn’t lock myself up inside 

Would that mean I no longer have to hide?

Only inside can I find the answers

Only inside can I see the path 

The one where spirit and human meet

Where I am one with those that I greet

Where who I am can finally speak 

Because I gave myself what I really did need

What only when I closed my eyes and breathed

Could I finally see

That only I can choose who in this life I be 

The fear OR the heart of serendipity

The heart whose whispers are getting louder

Aren’t I the founder of a new way?

Can I stop digging my own grave?

By staying the same 

By believing it’ll all fall apart 

Go wrong

What if I do belong?

What if all the mess I’ve made is okay? 

What if today 

I could step into faith 

And didn’t have to wait

Took all this b******t off my plate

And create something new

What if I could do all this with you?

Somehow, I know it’s my heart that speaks true 

Because I am the few, not the many 

Who doesn’t have to be ready to decide

That what is real is first, inside 

So for all the tears I’ve cried

The anger that’s built up 

I trust that as i let it go 

As i release this load 

This weight 

I’ll be met at heavens gate on Earth

Ready to serve

Ready to hold space

I’ve been gifted with the grace 

To taste love in form

Because I leaned into the storm 

I was drawn into the depths of being human 

So dark and consuming

I always thought my demise was looming

But, to my surprise 

It was my demise

That brought me back to life

To remember 

So when you ask me is this real?

I say, trust what only your heart can feel

If you felt supported by this poem, please leave a comment below or reach out via email, [email protected] and let me know what came up for you. I love to hear from people that connect with the art and words that come through me. 😊 Equally, if you feel like this poem would benefit someone close to you, please spread the love and share it with them.

If you’d like to connect more intimately with this art, you can purchase my book, 44: A Journey Through Poetry, by clicking here.

with love,

Emma

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

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