Polarity Unscripted

This is the perfect FINAL episode for this podcast. (Video version launching soon under a different name!) Follow me on Instagram for the announcement: @jack.unscripted

Why is it the perfect last episode? Because my awesome guest -- Bern Mendez, a dating coach for women -- shares insights about relationships/gender that are aligned with my own.

After interviewing dozens of people about masculinity, femininity and gender, I have more appreciation for how our biology influences us (situationally) when it comes to relationships. But I refuse the gender essentialism popular in "gender polarity" content and some relationship advice. My personal inquiry is satisfied, and I'll get around to writing a book... someday.

Bern views relationships through a deeply compassionate, neurobiological lens that includes body, mind, and spirit.

We cover:

• How primal instincts factor into our choice of partner -- and why turning away from our instincts may make us happy
• Some key reasons why we get stuck in toxic patterns -- both as individuals and as a society
• What to do about those issues to find healthy, happy partnership

Connect with Bern on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8sZByHnbuaoVnWd_l23JgQ

Free Webinar: How anxiously attached partners can get control and connection:

jackbohannan.com/heal

[email protected]

Instagram: @jack.unscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

In this episode, you’ll unpack the emotions that are blocking you from yourself, deeper connection, and happiness. 

Melissa Crook works with clients to peel back the “layers” and put the power back in your hands to ask your questions and reclaim the questions you’re asking yourself.

• Dealing with anger (as a woman)
• Gaslighting, codependency and all the other fun stuff that’s likely to happen when you step into your truth
• Radiant freedom, peace, and self-alignment
• “Whatever you’re saying ‘yes’ to, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else. You better be okay with that thing you’re saying ‘no’ to — and it better not be yourself. So if anything is asking you to say ‘no’ to yourself…” — yeah woof

This one hits. 

Listen now.

Learn more about Melissa’s work at embracinglayers.com 

MY WEBINAR: How anxiously attached partners can get control and connection:

jackbohannan.com/heal

[email protected]

Instagram: @jack.unscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

A packed interview with couples therapist and author Dr. Foojan Zeine. We discuss themes that, for me, circled the concept of self-responsibility in relationships

How to remove projections and align with your partner as a team

The perils of hoping for you partner to change vs. hoarding responsibility

A big reframe: how to resolve issues rather than win arguments

Or simply leaving the monster of a partner (you’ve created in your head)

Listen now

Connect with Dr. Zeine:

foojanzeine.com

Or get her app at foojan.com

FREE WEBINAR: How anxiously attached partners can get control and connection:

jackbohannan.com/heal

[email protected]

Instagram: @jack.unscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

Attachment issues affect our "reflexes" in relationships and how we fall into relational patterns -- that usually limit our happiness and health.

In this episode, I discuss this topic with Beck Thompson, an Australian relationship coach who works mostly with women. You'll hear:

• A no-nonsense approach to healthy relationships
• How her clients -- and mine -- address anxious attachment for more connection and contentment
• What is feels like to set boundaries and make requests -- and how to do so

Listen now.

Connect with Beck on Insta at @the_relationship_cirlce or on her own podcast, The Relationship CIrcle

GET MY WEBINAR: How anxiously attached partners can get control and connection: jackbohannan.com/heal

[email protected]

Instagram: @jack.unscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

Check out this candid conversation with Peter Mather about “how to be in relationships.” 

Peter is a skydiving instructor, life coach, recovered substance user, and guy who prefaces EVERY mention of his wife with the adjectives “beautiful” and “amazing.” (Maybe we should all try that?)

We discuss:

• How everything is a relationship — and why changing your environment can change your life
• A very conscious way of structuring a “relationship review” as a monthly business meeting
• Taking a massive amount of responsibility in relationship and serving your partner
• His new business, Healthy Once & For All, which helps people create a sustainable, stress-free relationship to food

Listen now.

Connect with Peter:

peterjohnmather.com

healthyonceandforall.com

Instagram: @peterjohnmather1984

Connect with me:

polarityunscripted.com

[email protected]

Instagram: @polarityunscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

Jason Lange — What is Men’s Work? 

If you’re curious about what “men’s work” is, this conversation will be illuminating. 

When there’s something important that we want to move forward in life — and we identify as male — a men’s circle 

• Finding a more direct and authentic way to exist.
• How men relate to each other by “triangulation”
• The Myth of the Lone Wolf
• The ways men's work helps everyone — not just men

Find Jason at his website evolutionary.men 

Listen now.

[email protected]

polarityunscripted.com

Instagram: @polarityunscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

Are you ready for a jarring conversation about the extent and complexity of domestic violence? As the author of Behind the Smile: The Unseen Signs of Emotional Abuse, Tiffany guides victims and their families through the dangerous process of escaping an abusive relationship and coming back into health.

The depth of intrusion and violation she describes was shocking to me, and might be helpful to you if your relationship is controlling your life.

The end of this conversation was cut off due to technical issues, but you can learn more about Tiffany’s work at: 

https://tiffinynewton.com/

https://www.instagram.com/igniteherinc/ 

https://www.igniteher.org/

https://www.youtube.com/@IgniteHerInc/videos

An interview with Jack Kammer, a former social worked and advocate for men's rights. Topics discussed:

Equality for men in the realm of emotionality

How men do (or don't) access "personhood" within our culture

The fight for the "Big Red Heart" and the realm of female power that Kammer hopes men can experience

Want to connect with Jack Kammer? Learn more at malefriendlymedia.com

Listen now.

If you'd like your (optionally anonymous) story of gender and relationships featured on this podcast, email me:

[email protected]

polarityunscripted.com

Instagram: @polarityunscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

Today’s guest is a social worker, women’s empowerment coach, and trauma specialist. She works especially with first born daughters of color around the burden they carry within difficult family dynamics.

• Overcoming people pleasing imposed by social systems
• Decentering romance as a requirement for happiness
• Femininity defined as softness and a limitation for women

Want to connect with Tristan? Learn more at hersoulsupply.com

Listen now.

If you'd like your (optionally anonymous) story of gender and relationships featured on this podcast, email me:

[email protected]

polarityunscripted.com

Instagram: @polarityunscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan

Michelle Panning is a love, sex, and relationship coach who supports women in knowing what they want, expressing what they want, and attracting emotionally available men.

I do pretty much the same thing with my female clients, which makes for an interesting conversation about:

• How women can stop attracting "situationships" 
• Why we date the same person over and over (and over)
• How to penetrate a man's heart when he's not horny for love
• The nature of femininity and masculinity

If you'd like to connect with Michelle:

michellepanning.com

Instagram: @michellepanning

If you'd like your (optionally anonymous) story of gender and relationships featured on this podcast, email me:

[email protected]

polarityunscripted.com

Instagram: @polarityunscripted

Medium: @jackbohannan