In this episode of Redesigning Yourself Beyond Betrayal, I sit down with Carol Sheets (Carol the Coach), a leading expert in betrayal trauma recovery with decades of experience. We explore the often-overlooked topic of post-traumatic growth—what it looks like, how to recognize when you're ready for it, and practical tools to help you move from survival mode to truly thriving after betrayal.

Carol Sheets is a highly sought-after educator and thought leader who has served as faculty for APSATS and ITAP, two leading organizations in betrayal trauma recovery. She's the creator of the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM), which has empowered over 250 clinicians globally. Carol is also the author of several acclaimed books including Help Her Heal, Unleashing Your Power: Moving Beyond Sexual Betrayal, and Help Them Heal. As a pioneer in the field, she hosted the very first internet radio podcast on sex addiction and partner betrayal.

In this conversation, we dive deep into the three phases of partner betrayal recovery and why so many women get stuck in the first phase. Carol shares her mission to help women step into post-traumatic growth, where they develop a new appreciation for life and find the energy to give back to others.

Topics Covered:

1. The three phases of partner betrayal recovery and how to recognize post-traumatic growth
2. Common fears about staying versus leaving your relationship after betrayal
3. Carol's "Head, Heart, and Gut" framework for rebuilding trust in yourself
4. The "50 Things You Like About Yourself" exercise for building confidence
5. How to use reframing to turn trauma into growth opportunities
6. The 10 recovery tools to look for in a partner's healing journey
7. Why empathy is crucial for recovery and what it looks like in action
8. How to detach with love when your partner isn't doing the work

Why This Episode Matters:

• Post-traumatic growth is possible, but it's often overlooked in favor of crisis management
• Learning to trust yourself again is essential for moving forward, whether you stay or leave
• Understanding what genuine recovery looks like helps you make informed decisions about your relationship

Resources Mentioned:

Help.Her.Heal by Carol Sheets

Unleashing Your Power: Moving Beyond Sexual Betrayal by Carol Sheets

Help.Them.Heal by Carol Sheets

Helping Couples Heal from Infidelity and Find Love Again by Carol Sheets

A House Interrupted: A Wife's Story of Recovery from her Husband's Sex Addiction by Maurita Corcoran

Connect with Carol:

sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com

Upcoming workshops: Partners Post-Traumatic Growth (August 26, 2025) and Couples Post-Traumatic Growth (September 16, 2025)

Purchase: I Am Reclaiming Me: A Betrayed Partner’s Daily Practice Journal for Women by Lorna Nakell or Coupleship: Activity Cards for Reestablishing Connection after Sexual Betrayal.

Read more about betrayal trauma and feminist issues. 

Stay connected:

• Keep up with Redesign Yourself Beyond Betrayal latest episodes and related content by signing up for the newsletter at Womanhouse

Note: I earn commissions from sponsored links.