This is not the step in which you will answer, “Why did this happen to me?” But that is the question that drives us to make sense out of the defining experiences of our life, of which traumas are typically included. From the time we begin to annoy our parents with the incessant question “Why?” people seek to make meaning of and find order in life.

Trauma crashes the narrative. Life no longer makes sense when something traumatic happens. If an event fit our existing narrative, it would have been “interesting,” “sad,” or “shocking” but not “traumatic.” By definition trauma, explodes our categories for living a life that seems to have coherence and direction.

“Trauma can shatter an entire worldview in less time than it takes for the trauma to occur (p. 161).” Diane Langberg in On the Threshold of Hope

In this chapter we will look at the unhealthy ways people commonly make sense of trauma. Do not feel guilty if the way you make sense of your trauma is false. An abused child should not feel guilty for believing their abuse happened because they were “a bad kid.” The story is false, but seeing its falseness should bring hope not shame. God invites you to be very honest.

“One bold message in the book of Job is that you can say anything to God. Throw him your grief, your anger, your doubt, your bitterness, your betrayal, your disappointment—he can absorb them all… God can deal with every human response save one. He cannot abide the response I fall back on instinctively: an attempt to ignore him or treat him as though he does not exist. That response never once occurred to Job (p. 235).” Phillip Yancey in Disappointment with God

Don’t get locked down trying to put your confusion into words perfectly or capturing your beliefs just right. Your hope is not rooted in your ability to articulate your experience perfectly, but in the freedom that comes when you doubt these false narratives enough that God can begin to replace them with truth.

"There’s no single correct way to construct a person's abuse story (p. 147).” Steven R. Tracy in Mending the Soul

One final introductory remark, you should realize you will not reason or re-narrate yourself out of having post-traumatic symptoms. False narratives may enhance post-traumatic symptoms, but they do not cause them. Identifying (step 4), grieving (step 5), and replacing (step 6) these false narratives help to disempower the memories of trauma so that the strategies of reconnecting with life and relationships (steps 7 and 8) have an easier time taking root.

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