The Caribbean King returns from his "luxury" cruise and he brought some souvenir stories back to the mountain. Turns out, no matter how fancy your boat is, South America is the Wild West and tourists are a human goldrush. Geoff fires up a crazy storytime about meeting (a) Michael Jackson, getting kidnapped by an amateur zookeeper, robot bartenders changing the game, and all the pros and cons of taking a cruise in a third-world country.