Practically Married with Paula Holt

If you or your partner is in need of urgent mental health support, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 9-8-8 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Today, I welcome back psychiatrist Dr. Lisa Benton-Hardy to the show. Dr. Hardy is Board Certified in child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry and has been practicing for over 20 years. 

In the second of this two-part discussion of mental health, we start by reviewing some of the reasons you or your partner may need to seek professional help and the process for finding the appropriate care. Dr. Hardy outlines how primary care physicians, therapists, and psychiatrists play a role in making a diagnosis. In the context of a relationship, the professionals involved may be:

• A therapist for the person experiencing challenges
• A psychiatrist for the person experiencing challenges
• A couples therapist for the sake of the relationship
• A therapist for the partner

Dr. Hardy gives a brief lesson on neurotransmitters in the body that impact mental health, and when a person may need medication  We go on to discuss treatment options mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Dr. Hardy categorizes treatment into three levels

• Primary 
  • Restorative sleep, healthy eating, exercise
• Secondary
  • Prescription medications
• Tertiary
  • Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT), Ketamine

Since people often hesitate to take medication because of concerns about side effects, Dr. Hardy describes how doctors can mitigate effects by switching prescriptions and dosing. She shares her concerns about over the counter treatments, and explains how nicotine and alcohol adversely impact the effectiveness of prescribed medications. Dr. Hardy concludes by imploring us to seek professional help when needed, and to disclose ALL substances we consume to our doctors...our lives depend on it.

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

If you or your partner is in need of urgent mental health support, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 9-8-8 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Today, I welcome psychiatrist (and close friend) Dr. Lisa Benton-Hardy to the show. Dr. Hardy is Board Certified in child, adolescent, and adult psychiatry and has been practicing for over 20 years. In the first of this two-part discussion of mental health in the context of relationships, Dr. Hardy addresses:

• Signs of mental health challenges and what she calls going "0 for 2"
• Causes of mental health problems 
• The mind-body connection

We go on to discuss the numerous ways individual mental health struggles impact relationships, and then Dr. Hardy describes the following common conditions that one or both partners may experience:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• ADHD
• Substance abuse

Dr. Hardy shares how the acronym CAGE can help determine if symptoms rise to the level of being a problem, and the steps to take to get a proper diagnosis (and that doesn't include taking advice from "Dr. Google" Lastly, we discuss co-dependency and enabling behavior within relationships.

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

In this solo mini episode, I'll explain my unexpected extended break in Season 2 before touching on what Practically Married has had me thinking about and working on over the last couple months. I'll share...

• Some thoughts about weddings
• The marriage book I'm reading - 'Til Stress Do Us Part by Elizabeth Earnshaw
• A promo of my upcoming discussion on couples and mental health

Practically Married website redesign by Going Bold Studio.

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

If you've ever wondered about the feelings you or your partner have when spending money, listen to this episode with Scott Rick, Associate Professor of Marketing from the University of Michigan, and author of the book Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships.

In our conversation, Scott explains his definition of a tightwad and spendthrift before we move on to discuss:

• Dating advice in the context of spending types
• Attraction tendencies between spending types
• Spending on engagement rings and weddings

We move on to the issue of combining money in relationships and a discussion of the study Prof. Rick co-authored exploring using joint vs separate bank accounts. Listen to learn which option led to greater happiness, and why complete financial transparency can be problematic.

Another tricky financial topic for couples to navigate is purchasing gifts, so we dive into how spending types impact the way you and your partner select gifts, and we provide some gift-giving advice.

Lastly, we wrap up our conversation with a great practical piece of advice from Prof. Rick on how to navigate spending disagreements between tightwads and spendthrifts.

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

So this episode is a bit different because today, I'm answering the questions!

A few months ago, I was fortunate to be a guest on the Price of Avocado Toast podcast with hosts Haley and Justin Brown-Woods. Haley and Justin are a married millennial couple who want to normalize conversations about money, and they demonstrate that by sharing their own financial journey. I enjoyed talking with them so much, I wanted to share the conversation with Practically Married with Paula Holt listeners.

On the episode, I shared the origin story of Practically Married before discussing important topics engaged couples need to address including:

• Sharing money histories
• Getting financially "naked"
• Deciding on how to combine money
• Setting financial goals

To learn more about the work of Haley and Justin, check out their podcast, Price of Avocado Toast. Additionally, you can get support from them directly through their academy and coaching programs.

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

Just a quick episode about the upcoming season...and it's probably not the one you think!

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

On today's episode, we're joined by Aaron Thomas, Founder of Prenups.com and author of The Prenup Prescription, to discuss the role a prenup can play in supporting your marriage. After defining what a prenup actually is, Aaron shares some of the things a prenup can accomplish during three stages of marriage:

• Before - disclosure of assets and debts
• During - how bank accounts will be structured
• "The Contingency Plan" - dividing assets as you wish and not how your state decides

We also discuss how a prenup can help couples avoid arguments around each partner's discretionary spending, and how it can protect a partner who steps out of the workforce to care for children.

Aaron even shares some of the terms of his own prenuptial agreement with his wife, which includes a provision for marriage counseling. Finally, we talk about how and when to bring up a prenup to your partner, the process for drafting one, and the associated costs.

**Bonus for Practically Married listeners**
Want to learn more about prenups? Visit Prenups.com/PracticallyMarried to take advantage of this special offer for our listeners:

• Free copy of the e-book: 7 Steps to a Marriage Saving Prenup
• 30 minute video tutorial explaining all of the most common options you can include in your prenup
• 30 minute zoom call with a premarital finance specialist to help you brainstorm how to best customize your financial relationship with your spouse. 

All of this for the reduced price of $99.00!

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

In this solo mini-episode, I describe what I mean by the name "Practically Married" and I list the 10 subjects that make up the Practically Married approach to marriage preparation, which are:

1. Communication & Conflict
2. Careers & Goals
3. Money 
4. Home Life
5. Sex & Romance
6. Leisure Time
7. Family & In-laws
8. Physical & Mental Health
9. Spirituality & Culture
10. Children

Join us next week when we get back to talking with our marriage experts!

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

In this episode, I welcome author, entrepreneur, and coach Abby Davisson to the show to talk about the intersection between careers and relationships. Abby is a Fortune 200 leader-turned-founder of the Money and Love Institute whose mission is to help people turn daunting decisions into achievable action. She's also the co-author of Money & Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions and the writer behind the popular newsletter, Practically Deliberate.

Abby and I discuss how couples can navigate pursuing their career aspirations while prioritizing the needs of a long-term committed partnership. More specifically, we address:

• The importance of self-reflection around values and career goals
• How to lead with curiosity when discussing careers with your partner
• Gendered expectations in straight couples
• Planning for eldercare and childcare
• Corporate trends in supporting dual career couples

Abby also explains the 5Cs framework for decision-making as explained in Money & Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions:

1. Clarify
2. Communicate
3. Choices
4. Check In
5. Consequences

Publications and resources mentioned in this episode

• "Talk It Out" by Rebecca Beyer (Stanford Magazine article)
• Money & Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions by Myra Strober & Abby Davisson 
• Money and Love Institute
• Quiz: What's your money and love decision-making style?

Learn more about terms mentioned in this episode

• Sliding vs Deciding - Dr. Scott Stanley
• Kinwork (also known as kinkeeping) 
• System 1 vs System 2 thinking from Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
• Resulting - Annie Duke

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall

Today, we're going back to Season One to hear clips from the two-part conversation we had about sex. Our guest, Sex, Intimacy & Relationship Coach Keeley Rankin provided an overview of various topics that couples can expect to encounter in the context of a long-term committed partnership.

The first half of this episode corresponds to "Conversations About Sex (Part One): Sharing Sexual Histories with Keeley Rankin, MA" from Season One where we discuss:

• Keeley's definition of sex
• Sex's relevance in a relationship
• Challenges around communicating about sex
• Sharing your sexual history

In the second half of the show, we discuss topics from "Conversations About Sex (Part Two): Monogamy, Pornography & Fantasies with Keeley Rankin, MA" from Season One which covers:

• Non-monogamy (what it is and what it requires)
• Positive and negative uses of pornography
• Sexual fantasies and how to share them with your partner
• Sexual challenges
• Sex therapy

Keeley Rankin, MA is a San Francisco based sex and relationship coach. Keeley is a Certified Somatic Method Practitioner, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, and a Certified Queer Conscious Educator who has a passion for helping couples find and expand their pleasure.

If you like what you heard...

• Follow Practically Married with Paula Holt on your favorite podcast platform to get every episode!
• Visit PracticallyMarried.net/Newsletter to sign up and receive even more relationship info and resources!
• Follow @getpracticallymarried on Instagram to tell us about your experiences using the strategies you hear on the show!

Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Sage Holt-Hall