On February 21, 2020, I returned home from a business trip to Missoula, Montana. While I did not have any new trips scheduled, it never occurred to me that it was my last trip. Well, my last trip in the pre-COVID era. Soon after returning, the economy shut down and all we were all quarantined in our homes. Travel as we knew it may never be as it was. Personally, I am ok with that because as the title indicates, pre-COVID travel was the WORST. What follows is a collection of stories about my bad experiences traveling in the pre-COVID world. Some are amusing while others are predictable but there are a few you will think I made up. Sadly, I did not. To protect the innocent, and to limit litigation against me any names are pseudonyms and actual business names are omitted.