In both the northern and southern hemispheres, a change in seasons is upon us. Whether moving from summer to fall, or winter to summer, what are some steps we can take to prepare to make the change of seasons go more smoothly?

Preparing for the Next Season – TPW204

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Self-Improvement

Self-reflection is always time well spent, especially if it's helping us grow as an individual. In this episode we’re talking about questions we can ask ourselves to help us create a life that matters.



Defining who you are as a person and how you want to live is the key to making a life that matters

I used to own horses. Several years ago I had a young horse in training with a trainer who required, as part of his training regime, that the owner come to his facility at least once a week for a lesson with that horse in training. During my weekly lessons, he shared various concepts behind his training philosophy. One of those concepts was four key questions he asked himself before every session with a horse or its owner, questions that helped guide him in structuring the session. The first question, he said, is “What do you want?” As he explained it, without knowing the answer to that question, you’d be wasting your time in the session. Without a destination in mind, you won’t actually get anywhere. 

That question has stuck with me because of its relevance to life in general. One key element of making a life that matters is awareness: knowing who you are, what’s important to you, and what you want your life to look like. Knowing what you want is key. 

This awareness requires time and attention to our thoughts--something that can be hard to come by when our daily lives are full--even when they’re full of good things! Taking--making--time for self-reflection must be intentional. 

With all that in mind, I started thinking about questions that can help us evaluate and shape our lives in meaningful ways. These questions can serve as a guide to explore personal aspirations, confront limitations, and carve out a path that aligns closely with your innermost values and desires.

Section 1: Understanding Yourself

Question 1: What are my core values and how do they shape my choices?

Understanding your values helps align your actions with what is genuinely important to you. Values are “a set of beliefs or opinions that influence how you live your life.” [6 Steps to Discover Your Core Values] 

Values “inform your behaviors and understanding of right and wrong. They help shape how you think, act, and feel. And ultimately, your values help you find happiness and purpose in life.” [20 personal values examples to help you find your own] 

The same article goes on to say: 


“Understanding your own values is a fundamental part of self-awareness and getting to know yourself as a human being. With a better understanding of your values, you can develop more empathy. You might show better emotional regulation. And you might improve your communication skills. But identifying your values is difficult. It requires deep self-reflection and self-honesty — both of which take hard work.” 


This article suggests 20 examples of core values people might hold.

“The closer your decisions each day align with the big-picture view of what’s most important to you, the more likely you are to create the future you want for yourself!” [5 Steps to Define Your Core Values: A Compass for Navigating Life’s Decisions]

This article suggests 5 steps to defi...

Crafting a Life That Matters: 10 Essential Questions – TPW492

This week's episode features my conversation with Tamara Dias, certified financial social worker, adult learning specialist, non-profit executive director, and founder of Good Soil, talking about how financial wellness can contribute to living a life that matters.



Financial wellness and productivity go hand in hand when making a life that matters

I'm excited to share with you my conversation with certified financial social worker, adult learning specialist, and non-profit executive director Tamara Dias as part of our Productive Living series.

Who is Tamara?

Tamara is a former middle school teacher turned school principal. Her career then shifted towards being a certified financial social worker and an adult learning specialist who has twice been recognized as one of the nation's top leaders by Forbes Magazine. Her goal is to support people as they build wealth and to help them better understand money and how it works. She strives, as a former teacher, to bring that "teacher's heart" to everything she does. Tamara is also a runner who's training for her first marathon this Fall and a self-professed Peloton addict. She and her husband have been married for 7 years and live in Virginia.

How Tamara got started

Tamara began her career as a middle school teacher, soon transitioning into the principal. From there, she began to move her career toward helping others achieve financial wellness and health. She also founded her business Good Soil, which educates people on financial health.

A typical day for Tamara

Tamara's days typically start out with some kind of quiet time with her waking up early and sitting with her tea or coffee, her Bible, and a journal. She prays and uses this time to focus herself before her busy day begins.

From there, Tamara heads to her home gym and gets a good workout in on her treadmill, which motivates her to begin her day. She tries to give herself a challenging workout to fuel her body and build energy for the day. She then showers, gets dressed, and begins mapping out her tasks.

Her work days are usually filled with direct work, Zoom calls, and meetings. Tamara works from home the majority of the time but if she gets antsy, she will use a co-working space. She is always sure to take a minimum of a 30-minute lunch break each day with no work distractions. Tamara is not a fan of working lunches and feels this break in the day is really important, especially because she works from home. Her break is usually taken between 12:00-1:00.

Around 5:00 p.m., Tamara tries to end her work day and transition to her after-work activities.

Tamara is unapologetic about the time she takes for herself during the day, including her morning quiet time, her lunch break, and when she tries to end her work day. This is how she structures her days and makes time for what is important, including herself.

Tamara's tips for working from home

Tamara suggests you have a separate working space from your living space. It doesn't have to be a separate room or large area, but just somewhere that is solely for work purposes. She has found that when working from home, it can be easy to not set boundaries between your work life and home life. This boundary is important, though, so your home continues to be a safe and restful space for you.

She also suggests that you make it a point to leave your home and get outside daily. Tamara has a co-working space she uses once a week or so. Get outside to take a walk and see other people, if only for a few minutes. These breaks can help you to clear your mind and be more focused throughout the day

Productivity tools Tamara recommends

Tamara juggles a lot of tasks throughout her day, between being a business owner and a non-profit executive.

Productive Living: Financial Wellness, with Tamara Dias – TPW491

This week we're revisiting an episode from the TPW archives in which I talk about some of the challenges of working from home--and some solutions for them.



Working from home can have its advantages but there needs to be a balance

There are lots of people working from home 

In a 2014 article, Global Workplace Analytics, a San Diego-based research firm, was cited as saying that 2.8 million self-employed Americans work from home, while another 3.3 million workers consider their homes their primary workplace, even though many of their employers have corporate offices. 

"Nearly half of the workforce now holds a job that could be performed, at least some of the time, from home or a 'third place' such as a coffee shop, library or park bench," says Kate Lister, president of Global Workplace Analytics.” 

The numbers have grown in the 10 years since that article was published. More recently, the Pew Research Center released statistics that "around 22 million employed adults (aged 18 and over) in the U.S. work from home all the time, equal to roughly 14% of all employed adults."

Lots of experts expect working from home to grow. One article cited as reasons “a mix of mobile devices, worsening traffic, rising prices in big cities, the ability to monitor someone’s performance remotely, or through technology.”

Modes of working from home 


    * Part-time/full-time

    * That is, part-time at home, part-time in an office OR
    * Working exclusively from home, but part-time or full-time


    * Remote working for a local or distant company
    * Operating your own business from home


 Benefits of working from home 


    * No more commute! 
    * No interruptions from people stopping in at your office 
    * More time with the people (or pets) you care about 
    * Flexible schedule 
    * Absolute control over your workspace 
    * Saved expenses -- clothing, lunches out, etc. 
    * Comfort -- can dress as you choose


Challenges of working from home 


    * Isolation/loneliness 

    * Play music - Focus@Will; stereo in your office playing your own music; I use my Echo Dot to play either classical or instrumental jazz, depending on my mood 
    * Schedule times to connect with others 
    * Join a carefully chosen organization--maybe a local one--to meet people. Especially valuable if you’re in a new-to-you area. 


    * “Out of sight, out of mind” -- harder to connect with colleagues or get the positive attention of supervisors/bosses/etc. 
    * No colleagues down the hall to pick their brains 
    * Chat tools like Slack or Teams
    * Video conferencing tools like Zoom or Skype 
    * Less support people and tech -- if you’re used to having IT and secretarial support . . . 
    * Household chores & distractions 
    * Lack of boundaries between work and non-work 
    * Fewer opportunities to network, if that’s an important part of your career/business 
    * Less external motivation (nobody’s watching . . .) 
    * Extra expenses (unless your company provides) - supplies, equipment, internet, postage, etc.


Guidelines/“best practices”

Set aside a place designated for your work/business. If you can close a door on it, even better. That doesn’t mean you can’t work elsewhere--when I ne...

From the Vault: Working from Home – TPW490

How do you manage the mental load of running a household, a career, and all that makes up your life? The TL;DR is this: It's okay to let others help you bear the mental load as well as the physical tasks. It doesn't make you any less of a good mother, wife, co-worker, or other such role. It means you're putting yourself first for a change without losing sight of your responsibilities. And this is a good and healthy thing to do.



Managing the mental load--and sharing it with others--makes for a more peaceful and productive life

Recently I’ve run across a bunch of social media posts in which women are talking about the difficulties of managing the mental load of running a household, often while also working full time. Many of these posts seem to focus on frustration with or resentment of husbands or male partners who aren’t, in the poster’s opinion, carrying their fair share of that mental load. The comments on these posts are full of hostility, often seeming to pit women and men against each other. 

I have to confess I’ve found these discussions puzzling. Not because I don’t recognize or understand the concept of mental load, because of course I do. But the hostility does puzzle me, as does what appears in many cases to be the underlying resentment some women feel toward some of the demands of motherhood as they are experiencing it. It seems these experiences and feelings would certainly make it harder to make a life that matters. 

Because I want to understand better the experiences many women seem to be having as women and moms, I decided to do some research into the concept of mental load, the experiences many women are having of it, and how we can find ways to manage and share that load so that each of us can continue to define, pursue, and make a life that matters. 

The Definition of "Mental Load"

According to a post by UCLA Health, “Mental load typically refers to the behind-the-scenes, cognitive and emotional work needed to manage a household. Examples are meal planning, scheduling and generally meeting the needs of every family member. The mental tasks you take on at work can also add to your total load."

Another article on the Mind Body Green website notes that “the mental load is about not the physical tasks but rather the overseeing of those tasks. It's being the one in charge of having the never-ending list of to-do items constantly running in your head, remembering what needs to get done and when, delegating all the tasks to respective family members, and making sure they actually get done.” 

One writer refers to it as “the work that keeps you up at night”: “When you or your partner puts their head on the pillow at night or has a moment in a quiet car ride, the noise that swirls around in the brain is the mental load. . . . When should we schedule the next pediatrician appointment? Will I have time to get to the grocery store to get food for our guests before their flight gets in? Wait, do they have food allergies? The baby’s stuffed animal is in the wash, and he gets fussy without it. Does the dog need to go to the vet?” 

Yet another definition from the Better Help website: “Mental load definition: mental load is the cognitive effort involved in managing your work, relationships, a family, and a household. Mental load is the whole bundle of details you manage throughout the day.

Mental Load and a Life that Matters – TPW489

There is no doubt that alone time is an essential part of our self-care. But totally isolating ourselves can be harmful to our psyche. In this episode we're talking about the art of balancing solo and social time.



Finding the right balance between solo and social time can help us be more productive (in all the best ways)

After some recent conversations with my husband about introversion, solitude, and loneliness, I’ve been thinking a lot about the need for both time alone and time with other people--and how to balance those competing needs. I started researching what’s been written about that and thought I’d share a bit of what I’ve found. The general consensus seems to be that whether you're juggling a career, family, or simply the daily demands of life, finding that sweet spot between solitude and socialization is key to our well-being and productivity.

 The Significance of "Me Time"

Let's start with why "Me Time" is not just a luxury—it's a necessity--and not just for introverts. According to a study published in The Journal of Personality in 2021, “extroverts also get exhausted from social interactions and need time to recharge themselves” [from Why you must strike a balance between socialising and me-time].  

Why? In addition to just the rest and recharging we get, solo time is our chance for self-reflection, self-discovery, and personal growth. It's when we can really tune into our own needs, desires, and who we are at our core. This makes solitude important for fostering a strong sense of self-identity. 

But it's not just about knowing ourselves—it's also about taking care of ourselves. Whether it's through meditation, a hobby, or just sitting quietly with our thoughts, these moments alone are vital for stress relief and emotional health.  

Women often put their own needs last, focusing instead on caring for others. But taking time for oneself isn't selfish—it's essential. Solitude allows for deeper self-reflection, which is crucial for personal growth and understanding one's own needs.

 The Role of Social Interactions

While solo time is very important, we can't underestimate the value of social interactions--even for introverts. Our relationships with friends, family, and colleagues not only offer emotional support but also help us feel connected and valued. According to Tanu Choksi, a counselling psychologist based in Mumbai, social interactions “release dopamine and serotonin and make you feel good about yourself, alleviating anxiety and stress, increasing confidence levels, self-esteem, etc.”  

In the same article where Choksi was quoted on that point, another Mumbai-based psychotherapist is quoted as citing numerous studies indicating that “indicate people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends, and their larger community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.” 

And let's not forget about networking. In the professional world, building and maintaining connections can open up new opportunities and pathways for growth. Most professionals and entrepreneurs need to invest time in social interactions--whether through conferences, networking events, or even in-office events--in order to build their careers, their client bases, and even their knowledge base. 

Finding that balance is crucial. Networking and socializing can lead to incredible opportunities, professionally and personally, but the experts I consulted agree it's about quality over quantity.

Preparing for the Next Season – TPW204

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