A deep dive into a "rule" that arguably never was—and certainly isn't now. So where did it come from? As usual, a poet's to blame. Digressions include the animal tranquilizer xylazine, the authorship of works credited to Shakespeare, the dubiousness of quotes attributed to Churchill, Restoration-era rap battles, and Beavis and Butt-Head.

Questions/comments/ideas/snark go in the comments. We love you.

Thing 1: Ryan Davis

Thing 2: Mike Laws

Producer: Amanda Darrach

Find all your favorite Red Pen songs over on the Red Pen Official Playlist.