It's as bad as you've heard.

We wanted to cover something good after taking a dive on The Wizard last month, but a tragic miscommunication led to us covering Uwe Boll's House of the Dead instead. We're always shocked when terrible things live up to their terrible reputations, but believe us when we say this movie is preternaturally awful. It deserves all of the scorn it's gotten, and no claim of "it's all a joke!" will save it.