Triggers are friends to follow. When we experience a trigger, we can find great benefit from connecting with the internal mechanism of vulnerability that has become activated. In particular, this method allows for a deeper understanding of the unprocessed emotion fueling the trigger, thereby providing clarity regarding needs in the present moment – an invaluable skill when navigating life's challenges. This process also facilitates the activation of our inner healing intelligence, offering agency in the transformation of our emotional landscape.

Step 1. Take a few deep breaths to settle into the present moment. Next, bring to mind an experience that triggered you within the last few weeks, even if minor. This could be something that was said or done, or even something that was not said or not done.

Step 2. Keeping that recent experience of in mind, review the 20 statements below select the item that resonates best with your experience of the trigger (select only one):

What statement best reflects your experience of the trigger?

01.  I felt excluded       

02.  I felt like the bad guy

03.  I felt powerless     

04.  I felt forgotten

05.  I felt unheard

06. I felt unsafe

07.  I felt unloved

08.  I felt judged

09.  I felt blamed

10.  I felt frustrated

11.  I felt disrespected

12.  I felt disconnected

13.  I felt a lack of affection

14.  I felt trapped

15.  I felt uncared for

16.  I felt lonely

17.  I felt like I couldn’t speak up

18.  I felt ignored

19.  I felt manipulated

20.  I felt like I couldn’t be honest

21.  I felt controlled

22.  I felt like it was unfair

Step 3. Take another deep breath or two, inhaling and exhaling slowly. Close your eyes, and connect with your earliest childhood memory of having felt _______(the item you selected from the list above). Recall the scene with as much detail as possible, including your emotional experience. Did you feel scared? Sad? Mad? Embarrassed? Did you tell anyone? If not -- why? If so -- what happened then?

Step 4. Ask yourself: What were my child-self’s vulnerable needs at that time (comfort, validation, protection, compassion, understanding, patience, encouragement, love, celebration, etc.)?

Step 5. Imagine your child-self in your heart. Tend to them in a way that meets these needs, with words and action. For example, you might speak loving words of reassurance to them while placing your hands on your heart. Notice how your physical body responds. Take a few minutes to reflect on the experience of having gone through this process, including how your perception of the event and your needs may have changed.