03.16.2023 - By Julie Hoverson
PromEvil takes you to that most horrifying of places - HIGH SCHOOL. On prom night, naturally. And something horrible is about to come out of the woodshop, and we don't mean Hal in his school mascot costume.... A lot of people put their heart and soul into producing this memorable event: STUDENTS Hal - Mathias Rebne-Morgan Lyn - Molly Tollefson Todd - Eli Nilsson Gee - Melissa Bartell Barb - Beverly Poole Andy - Mike Campbell Bud - Jasper Loovis Tina - Chandra Wade Missy - Jade Thomson Jake - Michael Faigenblum other students - Sky Iolta, Shelbi MacIntyre, Henry Mark FACULTY Principal Peabody - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mr. Ervin Carpel, Woodshop - Gene Thorkildsen Ms. Angela Wellesly, Crafts - Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard Mrs. Snodgrass, Lunchroom - Robyn Keyes P.A. Announcements - Julie Hoverson Rent-a-cop Bob - The Caretaker OTHERS Cop 1 - Glen Hallstrom Cop 2 - Joel Harvey 911 Voice - Julie Hoverson STAFF Writer - Julie Hoverson Doll Wranglers - Julie Hoverson, Kimberly Poole (Warp'd Space) Sound and Mastering - Julie Hoverson Stock sound effects - Soundsnap.com; sonomic.com Music - Prom - Sinkhole Music - background - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) _______________________________________________________________________ Prom Evil - Part 1 MUSIC AMB BUSY HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY P.A. VOICE Don't forget! It's your last chance to pick up those prom tickets! Show your Polk high Spirit! Polky says - don't drink and drive! AMB FADE IN ON WOOD SHOP SOUND HEAVY DISTINCTIVE TICKING CLOCK IN THE WOOD SHOP CARPEL [off] All right, um, kids. Let's start finishing up-- BUD You up for prom tonight? HAL Gotta be there. School spirit and all. BUD Ew, Hal, you're not bringing ..."IT"? HAL It's my job, Bud. Polky lives. CARPEL [off] Let's get everything put-- SOUND BELL RINGS SOUND CLATTER OF STUFF JUST BEING LEFT ON TABLES CARPEL --Away. [sigh] SOUND MASS EXODUS HAL Bud! Dude! [exasperated noise] SOUND GATHERS UP TOOLS SOUND KNOCK ON DOORFRAME TODD Mr. Carpel? SOUND SLAMMING BRIEFCASE SHUT CARPEL [ow!] Damn! [composing himself] This... it's my break, Todd. TODD I just wanted to see... her. SOUND TAP ON GLASS CABINET TODD [almost silent] Hi! CARPEL Todd! TODD She-- They can come home soon, right? CARPEL After tonight, they can do...I mean, YOU...can...do whatever you want with them. ... Her. It. SOUND SCRABBLE OF FEET CARPEL Go on now. I'm not...done... grading. Scoot scoot. TODD Right. [almost silent] Bye! SOUND FEET CARPEL [sigh of relief] HAL [clears his throat] CARPEL [startled] Ahh! HAL Sorry. I was just putting away... CARPEL Of course, of course. Go on now. HAL Right. They're really pretty great, you have to admit. CARPEL What? HAL The carvings. SOUND LIGHT TAP ON GLASS HAL I woulda gone for it, but I don't have the patience. Or the carving skillz-- CARPEL Right, right - just please-- HAL Got it! Evaporate. SOUND FEET, DOOR SLAMS CARPEL [sigh, of extreme relief] MUSIC AMB HALLWAY SOUND LOCKER CLOSES LYN [sigh] OK, nothing happens. Surprise! BARB It's coming. What? You're all hot to go study? It's party night, Lyn. Loosen up. LYN [sigh] A moment, then-- BARB Jake! You're SO late! LYN Huh? Jake--? BARB Mmm. Come here! SOUND LONG SMOOCHING LYN But, Barb--! Barb! Barb? SOUND SMOOCHING ENDS JAKE [catching his breath] Hey. So, What's the deal? BARB This is my cousin, Lyn. LYN [panicky] uh, yeah. JAKE Hey, Lyn. I-- BARB [sudden rush] I was telling her all about you, and she's just [as if she's looking for something] ...dying ...to meet ...you. [angry sigh] [shrill] Anyway. She doesn't have a date for tonight, so I-- ANDY [coming in] Whoa. What the hell's up? BARB Aha! Jake? You know Andy. JAKE [chuckle] LYN [this is ugly] Ohh! ANDY What's up with this? What-- BARB I meant to tell you earlier, Andy, but you weren't picking up-- ANDY I don't got my cell on me at practice-- BARB [flippant] Andy... it's over-- ANDY Over? It's not over until-- JAKE Oh yeah? BARB So you'll have to find yourself a new "bunny". Right Jake? ANDY You bitch! You said-- BARB For prom. ANDY But, Prom's TONIGHT! BARB Sorry. [she's not] Not my problem. Come on, stud muffins. JAKE [chuckles] SOUND THEY START TO WALK AWAY LYN [rueful] Barb. Jeez. BARB [over her shoulder] Lyn's free tonight. LYN [gasp!] ANDY [to himself] Fine! [to Lyn, muttered] I got tickets, wanna go? LYN I'm really sorry she-- ANDY C'mon...don't make me waste 'em. LYN [tsks] Fine. ANDY See you in the gym? Gotta get back to the field. SOUND HE TROTS OFF LYN Right. Bye. GEE [coming on, whispering] Extra, extra - read all about it. Dumped jock falls for head of debate team. LYN I've already had my heart attack for the day, thanks, Gee. GEE No hearts were injured in the filming of this-- LYN I don't even have a dress. GEE [mock serious] Wanna shock everyone? You could be my date. [goofy kissy noise] LYN [laughs] SOUND BELL RINGS, THEY START DASHING LYN Come on! [hustling] Barb'll have a plan. GEE [keeping up] Oh, yeah. That'll be good. MUSIC SOUND BELL RINGS SOUND STUDENTS POUR OUT - END OF DAY SOUND LOCKERS BEING OPENED STUDENTS [conversations about the prom tonight] SOUND DOOR CREAKS OPEN CARPEL Oh, um... [hoarse] Miss, um, Francis! [clears his throat] Miss Francis! MISSY Yes? Something I can do for you, Mr. Carpel? ["CAR-pull"] CARPEL [irritable, automatic] That's Carpel. ["car-PELL"] [clears his throat again] I, um, I could use some advice... Could you step in for a moment? MISSY [unsuspecting] Um, sure. What do you need? CARPEL [lying] I have this niece, and it's her birthday, and I want a, um, well, a young woman's opinion of the present I bought for her. It will just take a moment, um, if you can spare the time? MISSY [indulgently] Oh, sure. MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE, STUDENTS, TRAFFIC, ETC. STUDENTS [lots of chatter about prom] BUD Life's almost over...what do you plan to do once YOU graduate? HAL Not a clue. Dad says I've got-- [apes dad's voice] ..."no ambition, no drive." I guess he's right. I just don't have a burning desire to DO anything with my life... [LYN AND BARB PASS BY - FADING IN AND THEN OUT] BARB --taffeta underskirt - but not too long, you know? I was all like, how can I possibly dance in that? LYN I don't dance. BARB Let me finish! Sides, I want to show off the adorable prada pumps-- HAL [heavy sigh] Except... BUD [Following the look] Ex-cept? Still got the hots for that brain? HAL She's not a brain, just smart..."Brains" look down on the rest of us, and Lyn...she can be really nice. Not like the barbies you date. BUD Nothing wrong with dumb girls‑‑ HAL Takes one to know one. MUSIC AMB WOOD SHOP MISSY Ooh! Is this what the woodcarving class has been working on! Wow! Look at her teensy little hands! SOUND TAP ON GLASS CARPEL [getting more and more nervous] Ahem. It's just over here, Missy. MISSY Oh, right! SOUND PAPER GIFT BAG FULL OF TISSUE SET ON DESK CARPEL I hope this is something a... young lady would like. MISSY Let's see. SOUND BAG RUSTLES SOUND SOMETHING PICKED UP ON WORKBENCH MISSY What is it? SOUND RUMMAGING IN TISSUE SOUND HAMMER BROUGHT DOWN ON HER HEAD. MISSY Oohhhhh! SOUND BODY DROP SOUND FEET RUN TO DOOR, LOCK IT CARPEL [breathing heavily, panicky] MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE BUD Ask her. HAL Nah. Polky goes stag. BUD Buy a clue, Hal...school mascot never gets laid. 'sides, running around as a big purple - what the hell is Polky, anyway? HAL Polky is the Polk high polka-dot. BUD Ri-i-ight. Well...let's just say it ain't gonna get you a job. HAL Scoff all you want. If I work real hard, someday I could be a giant cell phone at the mall. BUD Hark! The wolverine has left the lamb unguarded-- HAL Barb's gone? Where? BUD She probably went to pee on some poor guy. Mark her territory-- HAL [speculative] Maybe I will.... [grunts as he gets up, then fading] What's the worst that could happen? SOUND CREAK OF BACKPACK MUSIC AMB WOODSHOP CARPEL [still wheezing] SOUND ASTHMA INHALER CARPEL [Deep breath, then an exaggerated one] Clear the mind. [half another breath, cuts off with] Oh, crap! Clear the desk! SOUND EVERYTHING BEING SWEPT OFF THE DESK MISSY [groan, hit by something] CARPEL Oh no! No, no! Come here, you! [grunts as he gets a grip on her] MISSY [groans again] CARPEL And U-U-U-U-U-P! [grunts] SOUND THUMPS [humorous bit, with him trying to get her onto the desk, finally] CARPEL [breathing heavily] MISSY [groans] CARPEL [whispering, afraid to wake her] no! Nononono! Stay down! [a moment of breathing] Good. [a demented whisper of a chuckle] SOUND ROPE BEING UNROLLED CARPEL [to self] need about... hmm... three yards for the feet, and-- SOUND KNOCK AT THE DOOR CARPEL [startled to death] Ahh! SOUND EVERYTHING DROPS, ENDING WITH A GOOFY CLATTER TODD [off] Mr. Carpel? Um, are you there? SOUND DOORKNOB RATTLES SOUND ROPE MOVES AGAIN, BEGINS TO BE KNOTTED CARPEL [barely able to breath] Go away, Todd. I'm busy. Come back tomorrow. MISSY [groans] CARPEL [frustrated noise!] TODD [off] I just wanted to...to check on my project. SOUND KNOT TIED TIGHTLY CARPEL You got an A. Now go away! TODD [off] I...um...Well, all right. SOUND SECOND KNOT CREAKS MISSY [sharp moan] CARPEL [muttered] Better not hit her again... a gag! Yes, um... oh, no that's filthy... um... [catches himself and starts to laugh hysterically] MISSY [moans] CARPEL [worried noise] Ahh! SOUND TISSUE PAPER GRABBED AND SHOVED INTO MOUTH CARPEL That should do it. Now. SOUND BOOK CREAKS OPEN, PAGES FLIP CARPEL Right. SOUND FUMBLING WITH GLASSES CARPEL [reading from a list] Five black candles check. Oil. Salt. Knife, oh yes. SOUND PULLS THE THINGS OUT AS HE NAMES THEM, SETS KNIFE DOWN, AND IT CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR. MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE HAL [to self] Um, hi Lyn! No. [mister slick] "Hey. Prom? Yeah." No. Uh! [grunt as he's shoved aside] BARB [disparaging noise] Walk much? [to Lyn] It's all arranged. LYN How could you--? BARB What? So I helped you. Have a cow. LYN HELPED me? You-- BARB Selflessly gave you my ex‑. Isn't there an award for that? Oh, get that out of my face! GEE What? Oh, sorry, right, if you cross a witch with your shadow, she loses her power over you. SOUND UMBRELLA COLLAPSES BARB What-ever. Lyn. Walk. HAL Oh, darnit. SOUND [OFF] UMBRELLA UP AGAIN HAL Aah! GEE Oh, jeez! Sorry! HAL No.. no worries. [defeated sigh] GEE [tsks merrily] LYN But you...like...Andy? BARB Of course I do. This is just for tonight. GEE [catching up] Let me guess. You fixed him up with Lyn so he wouldn't get snatched up by someone more like...hmm...You? ...at prom. BARB [snide] Coming from someone who carries a black umbrella and only dates on-line. GEE It's a parasol, and I'll still have a complexion when I'm 40! BARB Oh, yeah? That white makeup will suck all your vitamin D! GEE Lizard neck! LYN Gee, leave off, OK? GEE [exasperated sigh] BARB [muttered] Little "Bite-Me Barbie". LYN You leave off too. MUSIC AMB WOOD SHOP SOUND HEAVY CANDLE SET DOWN CARPEL Five. Lit counterclockwise, um... SOUND CLOCK TICKS FOR A MINUTE CARPEL Right. MISSY [moans, then starts to wake, tries to scream around the tissue] CARPEL [more whiny than scary] I'll hit you again if I have to. SOUND TURNS A PAGE CARPEL Circle of chicken blood. SOUND LID UNSCREWS ON PLASTIC BOTTLE, RATTLES AWAY MISSY [SCREAMS AROUND THE PAPER] MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE SOUND HAL DROPS HIS PACK, THEN SITS HAL Psyche 101. [grunts as he sits] BUD What? HAL Psyche 101...I could be a shrink, right? BUD Yeah, right. HAL Maybe I could specialize in abnormal psychology...you could be my first case study. BUD Or him. TODD [muttering] I just wanted to see her, and give her this heart - it's just the right size-- SOUND RATTLE OF TINY NECKLACE CHAIN BUD The resident wood shop mad genius? BOB [calling from off] Ooh, it's Todd...hey, did Barbie ever return your calls? FRED [calling from off] Maybe he's taking Chatty Kathy to the dance tonight. BOB [calling from off] A blow-up doll'd be a better choice, Todd...at least then you'd have a chance of getting a little. TODD [still muttered] Laurel's not a doll, she's a statue. She's ART. GEE Leave off, you scrotes. FRED I vanda suckya blood! GEE You wouldn't know what to DO with my blood. MUSIC AMB WOOD SHOP SOUND LIQUID POURING onto floor CARPEL [chanting] MISSY [moaning] SOUND ROPES CREAK AS SHE STRUGGLES MUSIC TODD [muttering] Laurel is perfect. I made her that way, and she understands me--[gasp] SOUND THUD AS HE RUNS INTO BARB BARB [uh!] Dweeb. Get some glasses. [back to Lyn] I'll even get you a dress. It won't be Vogue, but... SOUND CELL PHONE BEING DIALED LYN [weakening] But I don't want a dress. I really ...Barb...I don't like this. BARB No problem, really. LYN But-- BARB I'd loan you one of mine, but it wouldn't fit. Like a basketball hoop catching tennis balls. LYN [very uncomfortable noise] Umm. BARB Jeez. Missy's not picking up. Wonder who she's doing? MUSIC AMB WOOD SHOP SOUND SCRAPE OF KNIFE BEING PICKED UP CARPEL CHANTING SOUND CELL PHONE MUSIC SOUND KNIFE CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR CARPEL What the--? Oh, heavens! SOUND RUMMAGING THROUGH HER PURSE, VARIOUS THINGS TOSSED ONTO FLOOR, SOMETHING SQUEAKS AS IT HITS SOUND FINALLY FINDS PHONE, PUSHES BUTTONS, BUT NOTHING WILL STOPS IT, FINALLY THROWS IT AGAINST WALL AND STOMPS ON IT SOUND PHONE DIES SOUND ASTHMA INHALER MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE LYN All right! I'll...I can borrow a dress from Jean...we wear the same size. BARB Your little sister? She's a baby, how could she have a decent dress? LYN Who else is my mom gonna dress up? Me? MUSIC WOOD SHOP CARPEL CHANTS AGAIN SOUND BOOK CREAKS OPEN SOUND KNIFE PICKED UP OFF FLOOR WITH SCRAPE MISSY [struggling weakly] SOUND SUDDENLY, LUNGES, PLUNGES KNIFE INTO MISSY WITH HORRIBLE SQUISHY NOISE. GRINDS IT AROUND A BIT, MAKING SURE SHE'S DEAD MISSY [death rattle] CARPEL [breathing heavily] SOUND WIPES SWEAT OFF HIS FACE, THEN REACTS AS HE REALIZES HE JUST SMEARED BLOOD ALL OVER HIMSELF. CARPEL gah!! SOUND DASH TO SINK, RUNS WATER MUSIC AMB OUTSIDE, BUT AWAY FROM PEOPLE TODD [muttering to self] I spent so much time carving her. I know the project called for raw wood, no paint, but now that they're graded and everything, there's nothing wrong with a little embellishment. SOUND DELICATE NECKLACE CHAIN TODD Gold will suit her dark grain. Oh Laurel! MUSIC AMB WOOD SHOP SOUND TAPS TURNED OFF SOUND DRIPPING CARPEL Right. The blood. SOUND METAL BOWL OUT OF BAG, CATCHES DRIPS CARPEL Almost done now. [ecstatic] And then they'll see! They'll all see! SOUND DRIPPING SLOWS CARPEL No, no, I need more.... I think I need more! Oh! Here. SOUND CUTS A ROPE, ROLLS BODY ONTO ITS SIDE SOUND GUSHY NOISES, MORE DRIPPING CARPEL There we go! That's about enough. SOUND DRIPPING CONTINUES, BODY FLOPS CARPEL Enough! SOUND SHOVE BODY, IT ROLLS WITH A GUSHY NOISE CARPEL Sorry about that, Missy, but it had to be done. I wish you'd just stayed unconscious. Wouldn't have been so awful for you. SOUND SETS DOWN SLOSHY BOWL SOUND OPENS GLASS DOOR OF CASE CARPEL [chanting again] SOUND PICKS UP BOWL SOUND LIQUID BEING POURED MUSIC AMB GYM [EVERYTHING ECHOES] SOUND SOUND CHECK IN BACKGROUND SOUND QUICK STRIDES ACROSS WOOD FLOOR HAL --it's in the band locker. You gotta let me in. PEABODY [over his shoulder] The school is locked up for the night. Besides, the old one's in the drama loft...use it. HAL But it's a piece of crap! The foam rubber's all gone to dust...you can't even breathe in the darn thing. PEABODY You only have to wear it during the announcements. Surely you weren't planning to parade around in the ludicrous mascot costume all night? HAL [clearly disappointed] Guess not. PEABODY Quickly, then... MUSIC CARPEL [The chant ends.] SOUND CREAKING OF WOOD [NOTE] ESTABLISH THE DISTINCTIVE SOUND OF EACH OF THE DOLLS - LAUREL, ahhhh noises; LEDERHOSEN GUY, EVIL CHUCKLE; MONKEYHEAD, SCREECHES; SURFER DUDE, LONG DUH; AND THE MAJORETTE, RHYTHMIC CLICKING SOUNDS. CARPEL It worked! They live! MUSIC AMB GYM SOUND LIQUID POURING SOUND FEET ON STEP LADDER ANGELA Hand me the tape, Marge? SNODGRASS Do I look like someone with three hands? ANGELA [to herself] No, you look like a shaved bulldog in a safety orange muumuu. SOUND POURING STOPS SNODGRASS Huh? ANGELA [covering] Just admiring your dress! SNODGRASS [taking it seriously] It ain't just anybody can wear this color. You were looking for tape? MUSIC SOUND TAPPING OF DOLL FEET AS THEY CLIMB DOWN CARPEL You are mine! My servants! My revenge! SOUND WOODEN FEET AS THEY HOP DOWN LEDERHOSEN GUY EVIL CHUCKLE SOUND MOVED QUICKLY TOWARD CARPEL CARPEL No! No! Not me! You're supposed to obey me! Stop! SOUND PAGING THROUGH BOOK CARPEL Obey me! You're my minions! SOUND THE DOLLS ATTACK. TRIP CARPEL, PUMMEL HIM. CARPEL What are you doing with that awl! You could put an eye out-- [ahh! Gurgle, whiny death noises] SOUND FUTILE POUNDING OF TINY FISTS ON LOCKED DOOR END OF PART 1