Here I am back with the latest prompt from the Prompts app on my iPhone. I’m getting a late start since the college football game had a lightening delay of over an hour. Since the Buckeyes won 77 to 31, who cares about a little delay? Not me.

Today’s prompt is, “I am my own….” That certainly opens us up to a world of possibilities.

There I go again, speaking for us instead of just speaking for me. As they say, “Old habits are hard to break.” Let me take another pass at that. That opens it up to a world of possibilities for me. How about for you?

Will you take a crack at today’s prompt? “I am my own….” How do you finish the sentence? …

I think I’m probably putting off getting down to the business of responding to today’s prompt myself. That may well be another one of those old habits that are hard to break. I seem to have a lot of them.

I am my own toughest critic. I appreciate my successes and acknowledge my controbutions when things work out as I hoped they would. Even so, I tend to pick at things whether they turn out well or not so well. The main variable tends to only be how harshly I pick. I figure that picking at the pieces that are not quite up to my expectation helps improve the odds of not screwing something up in the future. I think of this as continuous improvement.

That all sounds good but it does have its down side. It means that I miss out on some of the pleasure of succeeding, the sense of satisfaction that comes from doing something well. It also makes me a little obsessive and driven. That’s not such a big deal when it’s limited to just me. I can handle it or at least have gotten used to it.

It does become a problem when I am responsible for the work and outcomes of others. I tend to apply the same level of pickiness to them and their work. Even when they do a good job and get quite acceptable outcomes, there I am picking at the little lapses, the details that could have been handled better.

I can easily rationalize this behavior by arguing that it only helps them get better at whatever the task happens to be. It’s true enough; it does help them get better – usually.

The problem with being my own toughest critic is that I tend to fall into that role with others. I easily become their toughest critic. It should come as no surprise that, although they mostly appreciate it, they also can come to resent it and thus to resent me.

The underlying issue is this. Children, co-workers, and those for whose work I am responsible understandably take the criticism personally. When I think I’m only saying that their work could have been done better, that they could have gotten even better outcomes, part of them only hears me saying that they are not good at what they do, that they are sub-standard, that they are not up to par as people. They take the criticism personally.

I should know that. I do know that. I was raised on the notion that however well I did, I could have done better, I should have done better. The outcome was predictable. I won’t trouble you with examples from my childhood but be assured that I have an impressive collection.

My father had what may be the perfect compromise. Again, I have a hefty collection of examples but one will suffice here.

I was a normally volatile sixteen-year-old and was angry about something my mom said or did – I don’t actually recall what percipitated my little tantrum. I rushed out the back door and agressively slammed it behind me. The large window in the door shattered as I rushed away.

I came home an hour or so later only to find the window in the door repared and the glass swept up.

I went into where my dad was watching TV, not knowing what to expect but fairly sure I wasn’t going to like it. He said, “I’m glad you made it back. “