When we haven’t fully processed our own trauma,we often project protection onto people we love.

This is called protective projection —✧ When we give what we never had✧ When we mistake our healing blueprint as a universal truth✧ When we love through prevention, not presence

That often leads to misattuned repair —✧ Trying to “fix” someone’s path before they’ve lived it✧ Assuming we know their emotional needs✧ Offering love that feels safe to us, but suffocating to them

It can look like:✧ Over-giving✧ Resentment when they don’t follow your guidance✧ Feeling abandoned when they want space✧ Interpreting boundaries as rejection

But here’s the truth:✧ Love shaped by survival becomes performance✧ Control is often just unhealed fear wearing generosity✧ Someone leaving isn’t betrayal — it’s boundary

Your love isn’t wrong.But it needs room to loosen.To hold without gripping.To witness, not rescue.

✧ soft anchor:

Love that insists is not love that sees.Letting them go may be the first time you actually choose them.

🌒 return to the mirror:

→ read: i gave them everything i never had — and it still wasn’t what they needed→ reflect: when your love is a trauma response

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