Wow, this first verse is strong, as well as the second:

“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement.”

I commented a few weeks ago in these readings that one of the things I am going to do this year is to get back into routine communications and friendship with some guys I know and have traveled through a lot of life with but have lost contact with over the last couple of years.  It is an important thing to do, and it is part of my 2021 planning that I’ve been doing.  The importance of that is again highlighted here - that fools live in isolation, and that isolation gets us away from judgement, which we may think we want, but it is that judgement and that connection with others that spurs us onward to being the best version of ourselves.  It is so important to have those people in our lives to do that for us.   And, for me, it is important that I have a couple varieties of those folks.  One of the groups of friends I had for years that I’ve been missing because I have been sidelined athletically is my friends from cycling.  That just has to be a part of my 2021 - getting plugged back into that community.  This Proverb and this verse just really reiterates that to me.

And as soon as I digest that, I look at verse 2, which is equally as potent:

“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”

When I am listening, I am learning.  When I am listening, I am growing.  When I am listening, I am becoming wiser.  When I am talking, with exceptions, I am meeting my own needs to feel understood and important.  As I said, there are exceptions to this, but I would say that this is more often true than not.  I need to listen more...just a quick pause before I speak, just a moment to consider the motivation behind speaking, and to consider whose benefit is being met with my words.  That one practice can really be a big emotional intelligence booster.

Verse 4 reiterates yesterday’s commitment to the rubber band on the wrist...I have it and will keep it on there for a week or two - it says:

“The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.”

I love the insight from the study Bible, which tells me that comparison with 20:5 suggests that the this term “deep waters” connotes concealment.  And, if this is what the author is intending, then here he is contrasting our human reluctance to give ourselves away, with the refreshing candor and clarity of the true wisdom, which is easy to see.

It is a beautiful image.  And that goes back to listening more and speaking less for our own benefit, but when it is of benefit to others.  What happens is that we often talk to conceal ourselves.  One of the easiest ways we do this is with stories.  We are late for work, and we tell our boss, “Sorry I am late, when I was leaving, I ran into traffic at the .....(fill in the blank)”.  We love stories, they can break the fall, soften the blow, and they can conceal the reality of a poor decision.  They also help us to sidestep the embarrassment, which is the punishment for the mistake.  That just leads to it being easier and easier to repeat.  It is a kind of justification.

On that note, I am adding something to my rubber band wrist-slapping exercise...not only will I pop my wrist when I say something negative, I am going to pop my wrist when I offer up and excuse or a story that I know is really just for my benefit.  I am not going to give myself that luxury.   I want to grow, and mistakes and the subsequent consequences for those mistakes are just a part of the process.