* Vs 5 - Rebuking someone you love is the greatest sign of friendship.

* If you can’t rebuke someone who’s out of line, it points to two things:

* Either an insecurity in them that they can’t take the rebuke.

* Or an insecurity in you that you can’t give a rebuke.

* Both are a desire for approval laced with the fear of rejection.

* But if you truly love someone you’ll say the hard thing.

* Why? Because you want them to thrive in life - and you know that God’s blessings are found inside God’s boundaries.

* Love is compassion with standards - you can’t have one without the other.

* If you “conceal your love” (you’re not willing to say the hard thing) because you don’t want to hurt them, then you are actually hurting them worse.

* Vs 6 - A true friend will “hurt” you but not “harm” you.

* Hurt - temporary pain for permanent gain (getting cavity removed).

* Harm - temporary gain for permanent pain (eating sugar).

* TWIST - Love that is hidden (concealed) in this context is just as bad as in the context of not expressing the love that you feel.

* The Message says, “A spoken reprimand is better than approval that’s never expressed.”

* When you feel for someone but you don’t express it, it “disheartens” them.

* Consider the Love Loop.

* Expressing your love to someone (via gratitude or approval, etc) opens a relational loop (but it’s only half a loop).

* The loop is completed by the persons’ response.

* If they respond favorably, it closes the loop and creates connection.

* If they don’t respond or they’re unfavorable, it keeps the loop open and disconnection is the result.

* KEY - Unexpressed gratitude / approval is received as rejection.

* So what do we do?

* If you feel it, say it!

* If you don’t feel it, repent and ask God why you don’t (concentration leads to captivation).

* Start paying attention!