• Author : Benjanun Sriduangkaew
• Narrator : Jen Zink
• Host : Alasdair Stuart
• Audio Producer : Marty Perrett
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“Fade to Gold” was first published in End of the Road, edited by Jonathan Oliver (Solaris Books, 2013).

by Benjanun Sriduangkaew

They say the afterlife is a wheel and that is true, but I am between and so for me the way is a line. It unspools interminably into a horizon that shows the soft gold of dawn, always just a little out of reach.

Before the war this was only packed earth and grass and dirt to me; before the war I trod this path from home to capital thinking of the sweetness of rare fruits. Now that my back is to Ayutthaya the ground is sometimes baked salt where nothing grows and sometimes wet mud bubbling with the voices of the dead. Inside my arteries there is blood which throbs and pumps, and my belly growls at emptiness as might a bad-tempered dog. But it is difficult to be sure, after so much soldiering, that one is still alive. It is difficult to be certain this is not all a fever dream. 

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