Pulp Canyons

Clyde’s voice is still deeper than usual from

consuming an excessive amount of breast milk from Claire’s now-pregnant housekeeper Josephina. The AI strike has ended, leading to the return of the original Claire and Bob, and a breathalyzer test from Officer Seamens causes the clogged-up breast milk to spew out, helping Clyde to speak normally once again. Sophia Vergara can be heard “chopping” at the mall.

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As Claire and Clyde try to enjoy a sexy Christmas Eve, all hope is lost. Not because Clyde’s voice has changed or because of the AI actor’s strike, but due to Claire mentioning how one ornament reminds her of Bob. To make matters more awkward, the pair discovers Rupert has been hiding in the tree. Clyde thinks he’s holding a penis ornament and realizes it’s not an ornament after all. The WIsconia Herp Derp raves: “What kind of drugs are you idiots on for writing this drivel, and where can I get some?”

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All heck and high water has already been broken in the previous chapter and this episode reveals the aftermath.

This episode appears to be-fdlsfakjskldf -broken agan-eifasoin. We can't even type-asdfidsifp-up a proper dfa dsu-show descrip-afkjdslf-tion. If you could be of any assistance, please contact tech support at Soapie 6 ASAP to correct-adsofdsaiof-this issue. Rupert may be able to give this episode its necessary exorcism by pope-ing for-afkldsfj-us.

While Jamie is doing Bob’s gunked-up hair, a

jealous Claire shows up; at first jealous, but then turned on by Jamie’s offer to do a three-way hair blow. The spell of Rupert and Clyde showing up is suddenly broken when Bob, Jamie, and Claire enjoy a bathroom three-way. After giggling with Clyde a lot, Rupert’s bowels are suddenly triggered by the nearby romantic activity. The writers go on strike, and the show producers can only think of making everyone feel included, so an AI Russian, Swede, and Frenchman show up, apropos of nothing.

The fourth wall gets broken, dragged for a mile, then left on the side of the road. This is followed by the sellout man-whores who write this crappy daytime soap opera gang-banging your ear drums.

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Do you know what will happen when Officer Siemens pretends to arrest Claire for shoplifting? When Claire decides to try a new position called a squat car this time, she butt calls Rupert before preparing to try it. Rupert is with his daughter and overhears everything that happens. The reason Claire is there is to install new strobe and probe lights, also known as squat car lights, on Officer Siemens' squad car.

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Rupert’s visit to the local department store leads to an awkward bathroom family reunion after finding Bob and Jamie engaging in almost topless foreplay in the Floorget fitting room.

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Rupert’s failing eyesight leads Claire to convince Simon, a friend of Rupert, to pretend that a Gay Singles event is for Gay Shingles. The entire event is an intervention to convince Rupert to see an optometrist. It’s the reach-around hit of the summer!

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Rupert’s dog Liberace reignites Rupert’s sensitive side, leading to the man and man’s best friend crashing a party at Claire’s. Absolute merriment ensues. The Wisconia Tribune hails: “Wait, what?”

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After Bob resists Claire’s offer to become her

front door lover, Clyde returns from the dead to resurrect the failing ratings of Pulp Canyons. Jamie, the show’s hairdresser, skinny-dips with Bob, while confessing to Rupert that she’s also a dirty-mag photographer. It’s a romp-a-minute laugh. Hardy. Har. He. He. He’s with you.

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