I don’t have one simple answer to this.

But I do have two rituals that have helped my husband and I enjoy almost 10 years of marriage - and a lot of life lived in that decade.

Fair Play, by Eve Rodsky: https://bit.ly/3aALiIT

Kat Cole + Daley Ervin Marriage Check-In: https://bit.ly/39BtAUi

The Questions:

1. …The best (thing, event, moment, memory)?

2. …The worst?

3. …One thing I can do differently (more, less, etc.) to be a more effective/better partner for you?

We used to ask for only 1 thing, but a few years in, we wanted to get more specific, so we changed it to 1 thing to stop, 1 to start, and 1 to continue.

4. Your biggest worry?

5. Your biggest point of pride/brag?

6. Your greatest gratitude?

7. Optional share: What is the thing that I/we spent money/time on that provides the most value /least value

8. Goals check in - how can we help each other with goals or interests? Pick 1 or 2 & ask for/offer help

9. Progress check - What is one thing I have improved and/or not improved (from our check-ins or stated commitments and goals)

10. What is an area we want to improve or focus on with family?

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