Vampire evolution ground to a standstill in the '80s, then a woman appeared who completely changed everything we thought about vampires. With the power of her pen, she made vampires less about disease, and more about sex. Today, every vampire lives in the shadow of our Queen of the Damned, Anne Rice.

Bestselling author, Grady Hendrix, continues his vain attempts to get you to buy his latest book, How to Sell a Haunted House, and to sweeten the deal he's hired Chris LaMartina of The WNUF Halloween Special fame to produce the show, and forcibly drafted Mike Walls of Audio Esoterica to engineer the spooky sounds.