Content Warning: this episode references suicidal ideation and psychiatric hospitalisation. If you need support, reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14.What happens when your church says your neurodivergence “makes people uncomfortable”? 0:00 – Intro: Faith. No Filter.1:39 – Doubting the “miracle stuff”3:22 – The discomfort of church culture6:30 – Embracing religious doubts and questions9:47 – The bible's core message10:57 – Kicked out of church for being "too much"15:04 – Jesus answers questions with more questions19:42 – Rejecting absolute certainty in faith23:01 – Finding your community26:03 – Everything she swore she'd never become28:13 – Discovering hard-won Joy in dark placesIn this episode of Filthy Hope, hosts Rev Ness Williams-Henke and Rev Jon Humphries welcome back Rachel for a radically transparent discussion on the intersection of autism, asexuality, and faith deconstruction. Rachel shares her journey of walking out on exclusionary church groups, recovering from a severe mental health crisis, and rediscovering her musical voice within a safe, authentic environment. The conversation strips away corporate religious jargon to explore what it means to live out grace when traditional ideas of instant miracles fall short.Together, they challenge the idea that faith requires absolute certainty, highlighting instead how asking hard questions opens the door to genuine personal growth. From humorous reflections on the absolute simplest summary of scripture to the raw reality of leaning on lifelines during survival moments, this episode offers a grounded blueprint for sitting with the messy elements of life while actively manufacturing joy.#FilthyHope #FaithDeconstruction #FaithNoFilter #QueerChristian #NeurodiversityInChurch #MentalHealthSurvival #RadicalGrace #ModernMiracles #AutismAndFaith #ADHDAndFaith