Join my conversation with Martyn Williams, a world record-holding expedition leader who led expeditions to Everest, North Pole, and South Pole. He's taught meditation and enlightenment to monks in India, and had so many stories to share.

More about Martyn Williams:

Web:  www.enlighteningadventures.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Martyn.Williams.blisshttps://www.facebook.com/EnlighteningAdventures
Blog: http://insightsfromtheedge.wordpress.com

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdejd72MJ1g

Book: https://www.amazon.com.au/stores/author/B06XZFSQ89

Vogue's recent article 'Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?' exploded on social media last month.

This week, we discuss changing expectations women have for boyfriends in a world learning to de-centre men.

I've re-entered the dating world yay! Debrief some recent first dates with me.

In this episode, I unpack:

- Awkward things that happened

- Fun things I like to ask the other person

- My feelings about going back to dating

I've been experiencing a lot of challenges lately post-breakup, so join me as I yap about the things that I've learnt over the last few months!

Join me for a conversation about "Oxford Study" comments, where the stereotypes against Asian men and women come from, the role of media in perpetuating these harmful stereotypes against women in relationships with white men, the role asian men in redirecting their hate towards asian women in these relationships, and the future moving forward :)

Articles I used in my research:

Dazed Digital (2024) ‘The Oxford study is bullshit: Asian women, white men’, Dazed Digital. Available at: https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/66017/1/the-oxford-study-is-bullshit-asian-women-white-men (Accessed: 15 March 2025).

The Guardian (2024) ‘Asian women dating white men: Fake Oxford study’, The Guardian, 12 June. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/jun/12/asian-women-dating-white-men-fake-oxford-study (Accessed: 15 March 2025).

JoySauce (2024) ‘Enough with the Oxford study’, JoySauce. Available at: https://joysauce.com/enough-with-the-oxford-study/ (Accessed: 15 March 2025).

Murali Balaji, Tina Worawongs, The New Suzie Wong: Normative Assumptions of White Male and Asian Female Relationships, Communication, Culture and Critique, Volume 3, Issue 2, June 2010, Pages 224–241, https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1753-9137.2010.01068.x

Pacific Ties (2024) ‘The assumptions, accusations, and animosity of the Oxford study’, Pacific Ties. Available at: https://pacificties.org/the-assumptions-accusations-and-animosity-of-the-oxford-study/ (Accessed: 15 March 2025).

Peng, R. 2024, Asian women are more than just the “Oxford study” | Identity Unveiled, Carlsbad (Accessed: 15 March 2025).

‘Being an eldest daughter is like an unpaid internship for the rest of your life.’

It’s a bit dramatic but holds some truth to it, so let’s unpack that together. Today, I want to cast a spotlight on an experience that’s more niche than the adulting experiences I normally talk about, the experience of a first-born daughter. I hope this episode serves some form of solace for my fellow eldest daughters. And for those listening who aren’t, I hope this gives u a better idea of some of the things we experience so you have a deeper appreciation for the older sisters who may be your friends, partners, family members, or your own.

Bologna, C. (2023) Are you ‘parentifying’ your children? here’s what you should know., HuffPost. Available at: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/parentification-parentified-children_l_6536b883e4b0689b3fbd8ac2 (Accessed: 30 May 2024).

Horner, P. et al. (2012) The relationship of birth order and gender with academic standing and substance use among youth in Latin America, Journal of individual psychology (1998). Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3375868/ (Accessed: 30 May 2024).

Jacobson, R. (2024) Firstborn girls most likely to succeed, Scientific American. Available at: https://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/observations/first-born-girls-most-likely-to-succeed/ (Accessed: 30 May 2024).

Morgan, M. (2023) Are you okay or are you an eldest daughter?, What Is Eldest Daughter Syndrome & How Do I Heal? Available at: https://www.refinery29.com/en-au/eldest-daughter-syndrome-oldest-sibling-family-responsibilities (Accessed: 30 May 2024).

Valenzuela, D. (2022) Have you been a victim of eldest daughter syndrome?, Katie Couric Media. Available at: https://katiecouric.com/lifestyle/parenting/eldest-daughter-syndrome-parentification/ (Accessed: 30 May 2024).

Yang Hu Professor (2023) What is ‘eldest daughter syndrome’ and how can we fix it?, The Conversation. Available at: https://theconversation.com/what-is-eldest-daughter-syndrome-and-how-can-we-fix-it-202016 (Accessed: 30 May 2024).

A few months ago, I re-entered a stage of my life that feels so familiar, yet so foreign: the talking stage. While the core themes of joy, excitement, adversity, and heartache of having a crush are universal and have stayed the same, I’ve noticed so many differences as a woman in her 20s.

This week we dive into maintaining high standards for the people you choose to spend time with, why we stay in relationships that don’t serve us, and the most gate kept pages of my journal (!!!).

Further reading:

The Peculiar Longevity of Things Not So Bad https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/danielgilbert/files/peculiarlongevity.pdf

Physical touch is a very important part of feeling connected with another person. Biologically, there are nerve fibres on our skin that sense touch which are associated with feeling physically and emotionally connected with another person. Our ability to touch the people we love, both sexually and non-sexually, can have a big impact on the depth that we feel love for another person as well as how loved we feel by others. It depends on our love language, it can be one of the most important parts of a relationship for people whose love language is physical touch, but can be of little importance for people who are more receptive to love in the forms of acts of service, quality time, thoughtful gifts, or words of affirmation. These 2 aspects of human connection, physical touch and navigating the different love languages of people in a relationship, can change when people enter long distance relationships. How do we adapt the ways we show our love when we cannot physically be with our partner? When is a long distance relationship not worth the longing?

References:

Jakubiak, B K, & Feeney, B C. (2019). Interpersonal touch as a resource to facilitate positive personal and relational outcomes during stress discussions. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(9), 2918–2936. doi:10.1177/0265407518804666

Lee, J E, & Cichy, K E. (2020). Complex role of touch in social relationships for older adults’ cardiovascular disease risk. Research on Aging, 42(7-8), 208–216. doi:10.1177/0164027520915793

Wasling, H.B. (2014). Fight off loneliness with touch | Helena Backlund Wasling | TEDxGöteborg [Video]. Youtube. URL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omIWt3xq648

Part 1: The ‘girl dinner’ trend on tiktok has had beautiful yet unintended consequences of reclaiming the word ‘girl’ in a way that empowers women and redefines the domestic expectations of labour for women.

Part 2: When we cast rigid boundaries between our personal and professional lives, we may be compromising the psychological safety of our workplace or uni environment

Part 3: The weaknesses of having a type A personality can become our strengths, although it requires adjustments to the ways in which and with whom we spend our time

References

Chamlou, N. and Temple, J. (2023) Type A personality: Common traits and lifestyle tips. Available at: https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/type-a-personality-traits/ (Accessed: 03 December 2023).

Gallo, A. (2023) What is psychological safety?, Harvard Business Review. Available at: https://hbr.org/2023/02/what-is-psychological-safety (Accessed: 03 December 2023).

Greene, A. and Silva, K. (2016) ‘#WordsAtWork: David Morrison wants Australians to stop saying gender-based terms like “guys”’, ABC News, 1 June.

Ivana, F. (2021) ‘Time anxiety: what it is and how you can deal with it’, Clockify, 23 December. Available at: https://clockify.me/blog/managing-time/time-anxiety/ (Accessed: 03 December 2023).

"Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.” - Dolly Alderton, ‘Everything I Know About Love’

Tune in and let’s appreciate some of the book’s most powerful quotes together, and reflect on how they relate to what my female friendships have taught me, my appreciations for my male friendships, and the journey of finding peace with myself in my 20s.