Raising Arrows

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A few years ago, Connor was spending hours at the gym just to avoid going home. His company had just been sold, he didn't know what was next, and his wife Hailey had a peace and joy he couldn't match. She was going to church alone. He was convinced he could figure it out on his own. Then he walked into a service, sat in the back, and everything changed.

In this episode of Raising Arrows, Connor Sykes and Pastor Scott Stewart open Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 and talk about what it actually means to have a marriage that is "a cord of three strands," with God as the strand that holds the other two together.

Connor shares how adding a simple habit, praying together with Hailey after two kids, quietly ended a lot of the small arguments in their home. Scott explains why so many couples slowly let their kids replace God at the center of the marriage, and why that's usually where the bickering, resentment, and scorekeeping begin. They also talk about why "us against the world" is a losing strategy, how the marriage you build today becomes the legacy your kids carry, and why you don't have to start from zero. Most of the time, you just have to go back to what worked.

For any dad who feels awkward praying out loud, like he needs fancy words or a pastor's vocabulary, Scott offers a reframe that changes everything: you're not addressing a drill sergeant or a distant authority figure. You're talking to a perfect Father who already knows what you need.

In this episode:
 Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 and the cord of three strands
 What happens when kids replace God at the center of a marriage
 Why praying together changes how you argue
 Connor's story of depression, distance, and coming back to church
 Building a generational legacy starting today
 How to lead spiritually when your wife isn't in the same place yet
 Learning to pray to God as your Father, not a formal figure

Scripture referenced: Ecclesiastes 4:9–12, James 1:5, Ephesians 5, Luke 11:11–13

Book recommended: The Perfect Parent by Doug Lay. If the cost is a barrier for you, reach out to us and we'll get you a copy.

Brother, if your marriage feels more like two tired people surviving than three strands holding strong, you don't need a dramatic overhaul. You need one decision today. Pray with your wife tonight, even if it's short and clumsy. Then send this episode to a dad who needs the reminder that he's not doing this alone. Follow Raising Arrows so you never miss an episode.

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An affair doesn't start with a kiss. It starts with a thousand small yeses nobody else sees.

In this episode, Connor and Pastor Scott have an honest conversation about one of the most sensitive topics in marriage: guarding your eyes. Anchored in Job 31:1, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman," they talk about how temptation has become part of everyday life (even the commercials), why willpower alone won't get you through it, and what it looks like to protect your heart and your marriage.

In this episode:

• Why compromise starts long before any line is crossed
• Paul's call to flee, and why "I can handle it" is the trap
• Pre-deciding before the moment comes, especially with pornography
• The "first look vs. second look" principle
• Why guardrails aren't a lack of trust but an act of love
• Connor's story of the guardrails he kept to himself, and why you build them together with your spouse
• "Simple, not easy": getting honest, getting help, and getting free

Whether you're in a battle right now or want to stay ahead of one, this conversation is for you and your spouse. Who you are when no one's around matters.

Scripture: Job 31:1 · Matthew 5:28 · 1 Corinthians 6:18 · James 4:7 · Proverbs 24:16

If this episode helped you, share it with a brother who needs it, and leave us a rating or review so more dads can find the show.

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Ask the Pastor: How Do We Actually Release Control?

Letting go of control, sounds simple until you're the one white-knuckling your way through a situation that feels totally out of your hands. In this episode of Ask the Pastor, we tackle one of the questions every Christian wrestles with at some point: what does "releasing control" actually look like day to day?

Pastor Scott breaks it down into two shifts in perspective — first, understanding that your job is obedience and God's job is outcome, and second, learning to focus on the Person in control rather than the problem in front of you. It's a simple but convicting reframe: are you thinking more about how you're going to get there, or about who's already got it?

If you've ever prayed for peace and still felt like you were carrying the weight yourself, this one's for you.

🎙️ New episodes of Ask the Pastor every week.

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Ever seen a friend's highlight reel and thought, "Their life just looks easier than mine"? You're not alone — and you're not crazy. In this episode, Connor and Scott break down the comparison trap: the sneaky cycle of seeing what someone else has (the pool, the vacation, the "together" marriage) and starting to believe something's wrong with your own life.

They dig into Galatians 6:4-5 — "let each person examine his own work" — and unpack why comparison isn't really about what your neighbor has, it's about where your identity is anchored. Connor walks through the real difference between admiring something and coveting it (thought → inclination → will, straight from James), and Scott shares an all-too-relatable moment where a single old photo convinced someone they were vacationing every week.

They also get into a harder question: what do you do with your parents' marriage — good, bad, or somewhere in between — as you build your own? Drawing from Genesis 2:24 and 1 Peter 1:18-19, they talk about leaving and cleaving, breaking cycles, and why "we turned out fine" isn't the same as "we did it right."

If you've ever caught yourself wanting what someone else has and wondering if that makes you ungrateful, greedy, or just human — this episode is for you.

Topics covered:

• The comparison trap and Galatians 6:4-5
• Social media's highlight reel effect (and the Disney story that started it all)
• Where wanting something crosses into coveting it
• Comparing your marriage to your parents' marriage
• Breaking generational patterns without dishonoring your parents
• Why a "boring" marriage might be a healthy one

Scripture referenced: Galatians 6:4-5, 2 Corinthians 10:5, 12, Luke 12:15, Genesis 2:24, 1 Peter 1:18-19, John 9

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We thought adding a second kid would just mean more of the same — a little more chaos, a little less sleep. We were wrong. It didn't add to our plate. It multiplied it.

In this episode, Connor sits down with Pastor Scott Stewart to talk honestly about the leap from one kid to two — and the ways it exposed selfish habits Connor didn't even know he still had. They dig into what "zone coverage" parenting actually looks like (spoiler: it's a lot harder than "man coverage"), the practical "eyes on / eyes off" system that saved their sanity in public, and why going from zero to one is a completely different transition than going from one to two.

This isn't a parenting theory conversation. It's two dads talking through the real stuff — split attention, marriage communication that has to level up, and learning to put your spouse's needs above your own exhaustion, even when you're running on fumes.

Anchor Scripture: Philippians 2:4 — "Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others."

Whether you're staring down baby number two or you're deep in the thick of it already, this episode is a reminder that multiplying responsibility isn't about doing more — it's about dying to self a little more each time. Because at the end of the day, we're not here to be served. We're here to serve.

Listen now and tag a dad who needs to hear this before their second one arrives.

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What do you do when God feels far away and your problems feel painfully close? In this Raising Arrows devotional, Pastor Scott Stewart walks through Psalm 13 — David's raw, honest cry of "How long, Lord?" — and shows why worship isn't reserved for the seasons when life is going well.

Scott breaks down what it really means when Scripture calls God "generous," even in hard seasons: not that He gives us everything we want, but that His goodness and mercy follow us through every chapter of our story — the good and the brutal. When the enemy tries to convince you that you're shaken and defeated, David models the pivot every dad needs to make: lift your praise to the God who is still in control.

A short, honest word for anyone in a tough season right now — for dads, for husbands, for anyone trying to hold onto faith when it's hard to see God's hand.

Scripture referenced: Psalm 13:1-6

Connor Sykes and Pastor Scott Stewart host Raising Arrows, a podcast for dads chasing faith, marriage, and fatherhood without the highlight reel.

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Worship isn't just what we sing on Sunday — it's every yes we give God on a random Tuesday. In this Raising Arrows devotional, Pastor Scott Stewart unpacks Psalm 95:6 ("O come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord our Maker") and makes the case that obedience itself is an act of worship.

Scott gets honest about something every parent knows firsthand: our kids' natural drift toward disobedience is the same pull all of us carry. Pointing to James 1's call to be doers of the Word and not hearers only, he shows why obedience isn't about earning God's love — it's about living out our everyday "yeses" to God as worship unto Him. A short, practical word for dads trying to model obedience for their kids while working it out themselves.

Scripture referenced: Psalm 95:6, James 1:22

Connor Sykes and Pastor Scott Stewart host Raising Arrows, a podcast for dads chasing faith, marriage, and fatherhood without the highlight reel.

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Somewhere around month three, Hailey looked over at Connor in bed and said, "I don't even know what you've done this past month." That sentence cracked something open. In this episode, Connor Sykes and Pastor Scott Stewart get honest about the temptation every new parent faces — letting the marriage quietly slide to the back burner while the baby's schedule takes over everything.

They talk through the difference between being in the same room and actually being connected, the danger of mistaking "quality time with the kids" for togetherness as a couple, and why so many husbands default to describing their wives only as "mom" instead of remembering the whole person underneath. Connor shares the viral 36 Questions framework — reworked for married couples into three rounds, from light reconnection to deeper, more vulnerable territory — as a practical tool for any exhausted couple who doesn't know where to start.

This one is a call back to Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: two are better than one, because when one falls, the other can lift them up. Marriage was never meant to take a back seat to parenthood — it's the foundation everything else stands on.

If you've caught yourself talking only about the kids' schedules and realized you don't actually know how your spouse is doing this week — this episode is for you.

Anchor Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 — "Two are better than one because they have good reward for their efforts. If either falls, his companion can lift him up. But pity the one who falls without another to lift him up."


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Connor once asked his dad a question it took him thirty years to ask: what did you miss because of work? The answer involved a championship Little League game, a canceled meeting in Latin America, and a regret that never fully went away.

In this episode, Connor Sykes and Pastor Scott Stewart tackle the question every ambitious young dad eventually has to answer: what does it actually mean to provide for your family? Starting from 1 Timothy 5:8, they unpack the tension between godly ambition and worldly ambition, and why chasing a bigger paycheck can quietly cost you the moments you can never get back.

Connor shares the story of his father's success as a CEO, and the small and big moments that success couldn't buy back. Scott brings a pastor's eye to what real provision looks like when you're not the sole breadwinner, why "money dysmorphia" is stealing peace from households doing everything right, and how 1 Timothy 6:8 reframes contentment as its own kind of wealth. Together they get honest about boundary lines, delegated meetings, and the difference between being an ATM and being a father.

If you've ever wondered whether working that extra hour is worth what it costs at home, this episode is for you.

Anchor Scripture: 1 Timothy 5:8 — "But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Music: Beloved by Roa https://soundcloud.com/roa_music1031
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The Long Game of Fatherhood

Here's a question no exhausted dad wants to sit with: are you parenting your two-year-old, or are you parenting your twenty-two-year-old?

In the season finale, Connor and Scott close out Season 2 by zooming all the way out. Every tantrum, every popsicle meltdown, every moment you choose patience over frustration is quietly training the adult your child will become. Connor gets honest about the frustration he's had to retrain in himself, the kind he learned growing up, and what it looks like to choose slow-to-anger instead. Scott talks about the one voice his son will always recognize above every other influence in his life, and why that voice has to be carrying something real.

They dig into the difference between what you can do once and what you can do consistently, and why consistency, not intensity, is what actually shapes a kid. Then, to close out the season, they each share the one-line letter they'd write to their own kids for the day those kids become parents themselves.

Anchor scripture this week is Galatians 6:9. Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

If you're in the thick of the newborn haze or the toddler chaos and you feel like nothing you do is landing, this episode is for you. You are the primary voice in your kid's life. Don't give up.

Listen now and let us know what you want to hear in Season 3.