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Is your calendar raising your kids more than you are?

In this episode, Connor and Pastor Scott welcome a special guest to the table — Mark Martinez, husband to Jenna and father of three daughters, Kate, Belle, and Claire. Mark opens up about growing up the son of immigrant parents, a disciplined military dad, and how watching his father live out his faith taught him more than any lecture ever could. That question — what am I actually modeling versus what am I just saying — becomes the thread that runs through the whole conversation.

From there, the guys dig into the real tension every young family feels: the pressure to fill a toddler's calendar with sports, classes, and activities before they can even walk in a straight line. Mark shares why he refuses to force his girls into anything, even as a self-described sports guy, and why the goal isn't building a resume — it's stewarding whatever God actually gifted them with. Connor and Scott push the conversation further into the home itself, landing on the one habit research shows is quietly disappearing from American families: the dinner table. Mark gets honest about not having that fixture growing up, and how his wife Jenna made it non-negotiable in their own home.

The anchor for it all is Ephesians 5:15-16 — "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of time, because the days are evil." The guys unpack what redeeming the time actually looks like when you're not filling every hour, but protecting the few that matter most.

If your family's schedule feels like it's driving you instead of the other way around, this episode is your permission slip to say no to good things so you can say yes to the best ones.

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Every dad has a moment where the discipline voice turns into the punishment voice, and you don't even notice the switch until it's already happened. In this episode, Connor and Scott get honest about the difference between correcting out of love and reacting out of frustration, and why so few of us were ever actually taught the difference. 

Connor walks through the real, in-the-trenches version of parenting Beau and Haven, from the pantry-snack moments that shouldn't warrant punishment to the full meltdowns that do call for discipline. He unpacks how his own anger in those early years was never really about his kids. It was about his own overwhelm, and how getting honest about that changed how he shows up for them now. 

Scott brings the pastoral lens, breaking down how punishment and discipline mirror the difference between how people often misread God the Father versus who He actually is. He talks through the Stewart household's approach with Shiloh, the tension of blending two very different upbringings with his wife Shay, and why urgency without intensity has become their working definition of healthy correction. 

Together they get into the hard, practical stuff: what to do when your toddler is mid-meltdown in public, how consistency matters more than intensity, why lying is the one thing that erodes trust faster than any single mistake, and how the pause before you react might be the most transformational parenting tool either of them has found. 

This episode lands on Hebrews 12:11, the reminder that discipline never feels good in the moment but produces peace on the other side of it. If you've ever disciplined your kid out of frustration instead of love and felt that gut-drop of regret an hour later, this conversation is for you. 

Scripture referenced: Hebrews 12:11 

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There is a study Connor heard in college that he never forgot — and once you hear it, you won't either. Your daughter is most likely to marry a man who treats her the way her father treated her mother. That single truth is either one of the most motivating things a dad can hear, or one of the most sobering. Probably both.

In this episode, Connor and Scott get into what it actually looks like to raise a daughter with intention — not just telling her she's beautiful (though she is), but building something deeper. The kind of confidence that doesn't crack when a boy breaks her heart or the culture tells her who she's supposed to be. The kind of identity that's rooted in who God says she is, not what the mirror says.

Connor opens up about the pressure he already feels thinking ahead — the high school years, the first heartbreak, the moment some kid inevitably makes Haven cry — and how he's already trying to lay the foundation now, while she's still asking him to be Olaf and Kristoff in the living room. Because the groundwork you pour at two years old is the same groundwork she'll stand on at twenty-two.

Scott and Connor talk about:

• Why the way you treat your wife is the most powerful parenting tool you have
• How to affirm your daughter's character, courage, and identity — not just her appearance
• What it means to model healthy conflict so she never mistakes dysfunction for love
• The coming daddy-daughter days Connor is already planning for when Beau starts school
• Why Haven knowing she is a woman of God has to come before she ever hears it from a boy

The anchor verse for today is Proverbs 31:25 — "Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come." That's the woman you're raising. This is how you get started.

If you're a girl dad figuring this out as you go, this one's for you.

Scripture Referenced: Proverbs 31:25

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There is not a parent alive who hasn't felt it. The slow burn turning into a flash of heat. The voice that comes out louder than you meant. The moment after you lose your cool with your kid where you just... sit there.

Anger is one of the most universal experiences in fatherhood, and one of the most avoided conversations in Christian parenting spaces. Connor and Scott are done avoiding it.

In this episode, they get into the real stuff: the gentle parenting debate, the difference between righteous anger and sinful anger, and what happens in your body and your home when your toddler pushes every button you have. More importantly, they talk about what comes AFTER the moment you lose it. The repair conversation. The ask for forgiveness. The slow, humbling work of being a dad who comes back.

Anchored in James 1:19-20, "Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God," this episode is a permission slip and a practical guide for every dad who has sat on the bathroom floor wondering why he reacted that way.

Here is what Connor and Scott unpack:

Why anger is not always the primary emotion, and what is actually underneath it when you snap at your kid over a spilled cup or a stolen hose

The gentle parenting debate and why compassionate boundaries might be the framework you have been looking for

Why your child's tantrum is not the emergency, but your anger is

How to have the repair conversation with a toddler, a spouse, and yourself

The order of operations when conflict happens: your reaction comes first, the issue comes second

What James 1:19 is actually asking of you, and why the God who models slowness to anger is the same God who meets you in your worst moments

You are not a bad dad because you lost your cool. You are a dad who is paying attention. And that is exactly where growth starts.

New episodes of Raising Arrows drop weekly. Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. And if this episode hit close to home, share it with a dad who needs to hear it.

Faith. Fatherhood. The Beautiful Chaos.

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Nobody told Connor he was supposed to lead.

He was the one following Hailey to church while she went alone every Sunday. He was the one sitting at home, convinced he didn't need it. And then, somewhere between her consistency and his growing hunger for something more, the switch flipped — and suddenly the weight of spiritual leadership landed on his shoulders.

The problem? He didn't feel qualified. Not even close.

In this episode, Connor and Pastor Scott Stewart pull back the curtain on what it actually looks like to lead your family spiritually when you didn't grow up with a roadmap. No theology degree. No polished devotionals. No perfectly orchestrated family Bible time. Just two dads in the thick of it, figuring out how to bring God into the ordinary chaos of toddlers, marriage, and the daily grind.

Scott opens with Deuteronomy 6:6-7 — the ancient Shema that God gave His people as a command not just for themselves, but to pass through them to the next generation. The most heartbreaking verse in the Bible, Judges 2:10, sits right behind it: an entire generation that rose up and did not know the Lord. That's the stakes. That's the reason this conversation matters.

Connor gets real about the lies he believed: that Haley was more qualified, that his past disqualified him, that spiritual leadership had to look grand and polished to count. He talks about the Titus 10 Bible study on Lifeway.com that quietly rewired how he thought about being a man of faith. And he shares what leading actually looks like in his home — not forcing church on Beau and Haven, but playing worship music loud enough that his kids are singing Phil Wickham at lunch without being asked.

Scott brings it home: real leadership isn't the Instagram version of a stoic dad with his arms crossed. It's Ephesians 5 leadership. It's on-your-knees-in-the-nursery leadership. It's presence, intentionality, and a willingness to follow Jesus even when you feel like the least qualified man in the room.

If you've ever thought "I don't know enough to lead my family spiritually" — this episode is for you. You don't need to be a theologian. You just need to show up.

Scriptures referenced in this episode:

Deuteronomy 6:6-7
Judges 2:10
Titus 1
Ephesians 5 

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You've probably already told your kid to put down the iPad today. But when's the last time someone told you to put down your phone?

That's the conversation Connor and Scott are having in this episode — and they're starting with themselves. Connor opens up about something that might surprise you: he's never really struggled with phone addiction. Not because he's disciplined in some superhuman way, but because his default has always been to find the most interesting thing in the room — and that thing is usually Beau or Haley. But Scott? He's holding his hand up. Whether it's work, sports scores, or the Kindle app he's using to feel like he's being productive while he's really just… on his phone — the pull is real, and he's not pretending otherwise.

This episode unpacks the data nobody wants to sit with: 54% of parents admit their kids are addicted to screens, but 46% admit they are too. Your toddler isn't the problem you think they are. The problem is in your pocket right now.

Connor and Scott talk through what it actually looks like to build a life where the phone doesn't win — from Connor's priority quadrant framework (urgent vs. important, a system he picked up from a speaker at Sykes that still runs his mornings) to Scott's Google Calendar method and the simple idea that your hands can't hold your phone if they're busy doing something real. They also get into the green zone, yellow zone, red zone approach to managing when you do your best work — and why doing your hardest things first changes everything about what the rest of your day feels like.

The anchor verse is Psalm 101:3: "I will not let anything worthless guide me." Using your phone isn't inherently sinful. But letting your algorithm be the thing that shapes your attention, your mood, and what your kids see you prioritizing — that's worth examining.

If your kid has ever said "Daddy, look" three times before you glanced up, this one's for you.

New episodes every week. Subscribe so you don't miss what's next.

Scripture referenced in this episode:
 Psalm 101:3

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One in four men have six close friends. That's it. In 1990, it was one in two. We're more isolated than we've ever been, and if you're a new dad, the isolation just got worse.

In this episode, we talk about why male friendship isn't optional—it's essential. They tackle the stats (and they're brutal), the reasons we let our friendships die the moment we become fathers, and most importantly, what to do about it.

You'll hear Connor's real story of moving to Tampa with no friends and signing up for ice hockey just to have somewhere to go. You'll hear why your wife's approval of your friendships matters more than you think. And you'll get practical frameworks for building the kind of brotherhood that actually sharpens you—not just people you hang out with when you have time.

Because Proverbs 27:17 isn't poetry. Iron sharpens iron. And if you're trying to father in total isolation, you're doing it the hard way.

This episode is for the dad who moved across the country and doesn't know anyone. For the guy who realizes his college friends are all gone. For anyone who's realized that marriage is beautiful but it can't be your only real relationship.

You don't have to do this alone. And we're going to show you how to build your foxhole.

New episodes every week. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

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Three Questions Every New Dad Should Ask God (And What Actually Happens When You Do)

What do you pray for when you become a father? Not the surface stuff—the real questions that keep you awake at 2am. In this episode, Connor sits down with Scott to tackle the three questions every new dad in the faith grapples with: How do I lead my family spiritually? How does God actually speak to me in this season? And why should I turn to God when I have my wife, my family, and my own strength?

Scott, a pastor navigating his own journey into fatherhood, shares what he discovered when he went to God asking for wisdom to care for his wife and lead his home. Spoiler: God's answer came through his wife telling him exactly what she needed. The conversation unpacks the difference between praying for wisdom and praying for answers—and why God often gives you something way more practical than you asked for.

You'll hear about the moment Connor realized his own anger with his kids, a real marriage repair conversation, and why the most direct way God speaks to new dads is often through the person right in front of you. Plus, Scott talks about the devotional he wrote while waiting for his son to be born—a moment of surrender that changed how he understood faith in the trenches of early fatherhood.

If you've ever wondered whether God actually cares about the mundane chaos of parenting, whether your prayers are being heard, or how to trust God when you're barely holding it together—this episode is for you.

Scripture references: Psalm 124, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Matthew 6:33

Mentioned: YouVersion Bible App devotional "Trusting God in the Unknown" by Scott Stewart

For Christian dads navigating newborn and toddler years. New to faith? Welcome. Doubting whether God actually shows up in parenting? This one's for you too.

Listen and share with a dad who needs to hear that he's not alone in this.

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You yelled at your toddler over something stupid. Now you're sitting on the bathroom floor feeling like the worst dad alive.

This episode is for you.

Connor and Scott tackle the thing nobody talks about: anger in fatherhood. Not your kid's tantrums—your anger. The moment you realize your voice got louder than it should have. The guilt that follows. And the question that haunts you: am I failing them?

Here's what we cover:

🔍 The truth about your anger: Your kid's tantrum is not an emergency. But your anger is. The order you deal with these things matters—and most of us get it backwards.

📖 James 1:19–20 as your anchor: "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger." We unpack what this actually means at 2am when your toddler won't sleep for the 11th time.

💔 The bathroom floor moment: The repair conversation. Asking for forgiveness instead of offering a quick sorry. How to teach your kids that strong men admit when they're wrong.

🎯 Compassionate boundaries: It's not gentle parenting OR strict discipline. We discuss the middle ground that actually works—validating your kid's feelings while still having clear boundaries.

👨‍👦 Breaking the cycle: That moment you hear your dad's voice coming out of your mouth. Why staying calm is the single most powerful parenting move you have.

If you've lost your temper with your kids and questioned whether you're doing this right, this episode is a permission slip and a practical guide.

Because being a good dad doesn't mean never losing it. It means always coming back.

Listen and ask yourself: What's the anger really about? Then share this with a dad who needs to know he's not alone.