Welcome to Anchored by Truth brought to you by Crystal Sea Books. In John 14:6, Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” The goal of Anchored by Truth is to encourage everyone to grow in the Christian faith by anchoring themselves to the secure truth found in the inspired, inerrant, and infallible word of God.

Script Notes:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs, chapter 22, verse 6. English Standard Version

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VK: Hello! Welcome to another episode of Anchored by Truth brought to you by Crystal Sea Books. I’m Victoria K. Today we’re going to continue our series that we are calling this series “Raising Christian Kids in a Creepy Culture.” Our society has changed dramatically in the last few decades but unfortunately these changes have not made for a better environment for passing along our Christian faith. Unlike in previous times very few, if any, of our cultural institutions reinforce a Christian ethic or set of values. Some are downright hostile to the Christian faith and will either passively or actively attempt to impede parents from helping kids form a solid, Christian worldview. But today we’re really happy to have someone in the studio who has done exactly that. In the studio again with us today we have Candy Coates. Candy was a working mom and wife of a successful lawyer and businessman. Most importantly of all, though, Candy and her husband raised two children who do possess strong Christian faiths of their own. This is not a small accomplishment. Some surveys reveal that as many as 75% of children who are raised in a Christian home will abandon or lose their faith when they leave home. This is a tragedy, but it is a preventable one. On an earlier episode of Anchored by Truth Candy told us her own story of how her parents helped her develop her faith. But as Candy has noted her upbringing in the small Florida community of Cross City helped shape that faith because it was so prevalent in the community at that time. We would encourage all Anchored by Truth listeners who missed that episode to go to our website (crystalseabooks.com) and catch her inspiring story. I think Candy’s story emphasizes one simple fact in a very profound way. Candy’s grandparents had a strong Christian faith. Her grandparents imparted that faith to her parents and her parents did that for her. And now Candy has passed that legacy along.

In our last episode of Anchored by Truth we talked with Candy about some ideas that Candy used with her children to pass that legacy. Candy did a lot with her children before they entered school to begin the building the foundations for their faith. And she continued her patient, consistent approach throughout their school years and even beyond. And Candy you have a good story that illustrates some of the challenges your daughter has faced after college don’t you?

25:00 Candy: Story about conversation at restaurant.

VK: Well, I think that story makes some very important points. First, it’s truly wonderful that you have the kind of relationship with your grown daughter that permits you to have that kind of a conversation with her. Sadly, I can imagine that there are many people who hear that story and can only wonder or envy your bond with your daughter. So much happens to kids in college these days that a lot of parents find out that the person who graduated from the school is not the person that entered freshman year. And tragically one of the things that often happens is the college graduate loses that close connection with their family and parents. You didn’t and that’s such a blessing. Second, you are still helping your daughter prepare for success in life because just because your child has graduated from college doesn’t mean that they are prepared to engage all the challenges that are headed their way. And your daughter still recognizes that she can benefit from your wisdom and life experience and how wonderful is that? And third, you are continuing to mentor your kids in their faith and helping them understand that none of us ever outgrow our reliance on Jesus, the Bible, and the transcendent truth that the Bible communicates. In fact, as we grow throughout life we will grow in our dependence on Jesus and the Bible because the wiser we are the more we realize that these are the only sure guides that will not fail us in a fallen creation. And I love that expression that you used: “Every barrel must rest on its own bottom.” You have another expression that I really like: “You have to keep your reflectors clean.”

Candy: answer about reflectors

VK: So, it’s a kind of shorthand that you used with your kid.

Candy: answer

VK: And that’s a great way of thinking about our relationship with Jesus. We not only want to have a close relationship with Jesus but we want to show others the benefit of that kind of relationship. But we can only do that as we reflect Him and His beauty and holiness. We do want Jesus to shine through us because it is Jesus who is the Savior. Those of us who know Jesus have hope but it’s only because of the hope that He provides. As the Apostle Peter said in 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 15, , we have a hope that “lies with us” and we have to be prepared to give others a reason we have that hope. Because it does take work for us to be prepared to give those reasons doesn’t it?

Candy: Comments about burlap bag.

VK: Well, I think that is absolutely right. Anything that we do for Jesus we do through His power. Since we know that He created the heavens and the earth we know that He does have the power to accomplish anything that He wants. And He will use that power to help us if our desire is genuinely to serve Him. I think that that is something that is often lost in this day and age where there are a lot of distorted ideas about Christianity that tend to circulate. Many people seem to think that God’s chief purpose is to glorify them rather the reverse. Our purpose is to glorify God and why shouldn’t it be? God is after all perfect in all His ways and He deserves to be glorified. But a lot of people sometimes seem to get that backward. Some people seem to think that they can direct God rather than recognizing that God is the One who does the directing.

Candy: Comments about hoop for God to jump through.

31:15 VK: I think that those are some very wise observations. They are obviously pertinent for believers of all ages. But believers who have kids just entering college can be faced with some special challenges can’t they? I believe your son Mason went to the University of Alabama. How did you and your husband handle getting Mason get set up for a successful college career at Alabama?

Candy: Comments about Mason getting started at Alabama.

VK: And what kind of guidance did you give Mason about holding on to his Christian faith? How did you help him get prepared for the challenges he would face in college about his faith?

Candy: Comments about helping Mason with getting prepared for preserving faith at college.

VK: What kind of difference do you think Mason’s faith made in his college experience?

Candy: Comments about Mason’s faith at college.

VK: What kind of religious life did Mason have in college? Did he routinely go to church and keep up the kind of devotional habits that you had instilled in him before he left home?

Candy: Comments about Mason’s faith experience in college.

VK: How about your daughter’s church experience in college? Did she keep up regular attendance?

Candy: Comments about Caitlin’s church attendance at college.

VK: So, Kaitlin had a group of Christian friends in college. How did that benefit her?

Candy: Comments about Caitlin.

VK: And you think that was important to Caitlin?

Candy: Comments about Caitlin.

VK: So, it sounds like Caitlin’s college experience with her faith actually helped her lay the groundwork for life long friendships?

Candy: Comments about friends.

VK: Did Mason or Caitlin ever say anything during their college years that it made it sound like they were very grateful that they had such a strong grounding in their faith before they left home?

Candy: Comments about kids in college and their faith.

40:00 VK: Are there any stories that you remember about your kids that reflect how their faith played a role in their lives during college?

Candy: Comments about praying for others and having faith or not.

VK: Did either Mason or Caitlin run into any determined opposition to their faith? Did they run into any professors or their peers who openly denigrated or mocked them for being Christians?

Candy: Comments about voids of faith

VK: That is something we don’t think about a lot of time. Sometimes our kids will run into open or vocal opposition to their faith but more often than not what they will experience is friends or peers who just don’t have any faith or who just never think about faith. That can also be very detrimental for kids who haven’t been properly prepared. Christians know that God made everything and that He isn’t going away just because some people don’t believe in Him. We also know that we have fallen far short of the standards that God has established for us in our lives and worship of Him. Well, today a lot of people don’t know what we know and so they just ignore one of the most fundamental attributes of reality – God’s existence and the need to have a relationship with him. And, of course, that kind of apathy can be very tempting when kids are in college with too much to do and too much to think about anyway. What kind of contact did you have with Mason or Caitlin to try to continue to reinforce their contact with their faith?

Candy: Comments about mail campaign

VK: So, you did not know what your child needed at that moment but the Lord knew. The Lord always knows what each of us needs. And the Lord can give us nudges when He wants us to reach out. Apparently, He did that for you and it’s probably because you were good at responding to the nudges. The bottom line is that the Lord will never let us down.

Candy: Comments about the Lord always being there

46:00 VK: So, did your own faith change while your kids were at college? Did you experience your faith in a new way as they were now out of the home and beginning their lives on their own so-to-speak?

Candy: Comments about you having knowledge your kids don’t

VK: Knee time. I really like that. Crystal Sea has published 2 books on prayer because we believe “knee time” should be the first response and not the last resort. Well, we’d really like to thank Candy Coates for being our guest on Anchored by Truth for this series. We’re going to wrap up the series in our next episode by looking at one way Crystal Sea wants to help parents help their children build an enduring faith – through the humor projects that we produce called Life Lessons with a Laugh. Candy has listened to just about all of them and agrees with us that humor can be a great way to bring down defenses and prepare parents and kids share scriptural truths in an easy and natural way. Candy’s story is a clear illustration of how sacred scripture –the Bible – continues to demonstrate its supernatural nature through lives that are changed for the better for all eternity by its saving power. Today for our closing prayer how about if we join in a prayer of adoration for the one who brings the illumination of scripture into our lives – the Holy Spirit?

---- PRAYER FOR ADORATION OF THE HOLY SPIRIT (MARCUS)

VK: We hope you’ll be with us in the future when we’ll continue our discussion with Candy. And we hope you’ll take some time to encourage some friends to tune in too, or listen to the podcast version of this show.

If you’d like to hear more, try out crystalseabooks.com where “We’re not perfect but our Boss is!”

(Bible Quote from the English Standard Version)