Academic stress. Those two words describe a big minefield when it comes to parenting. How can parents and educators instill and support a love of learning, while downplaying messages of competition and conditional approval? A few years back, a friend’s five year old announced he planned on attending Harvard. I was half amused, and half […]
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Raising Humans #13-Reducing Academic Stress

Have you ever had a rushed morning getting the kids off to school? The speed of our everyday lives can leave kids struggling to be present and ready to learn when they enter the school building. How can parents help children develop an emotional vocabulary and emotional literacy so that they are truly prepared to […]
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Arriving at School Ready to Learn- Raising Humans Podcast

How can parents facilitate good conversations with teachers to support their child’s learning?What can parents learn from teachers about how to extend learning outside the classroom? In this short Raising Humans podcast, May Duong, Direct of Parent Education for Six Seconds, talks with Brian Lucette. Brian is a teacher at Synapse School in Menlo Park […]
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What Can Parents Learn from Teachers? Raising Humans #18

What’s the best way to partner with your child’s teacher? In this short podcast, Six Seconds’ Director of Parent Education, May Duong speaks with Ann Chang, a teacher at Synapse School about how parents can support their child’s learning in and out of school using EQ.

Empathize with Your Child’s Teacher
On the first day of Kindergarten, what parent hasn’t waved goodbye with a rush of emotion, whether relief or sadness as they turn their child over to the care of others? And then comes the first parent/teacher conference, the beginning of a long and hopefully fruitful relationship full of opportunities. Let’s face it; being a teacher is a hard job, right up there with firefighter or nurse. These are professionals who take their role seriously and are willing to problem-solve with you. By imagining what the teacher’s life must be like, you can build empathy for them. That doesn’t mean you will always agree. The emotions stirred up by your role as protector (mother/father bear?) are natural, but can sometimes hijack your empathy and ability to partner with your child’s teacher. Especially when things aren’t going well.

I will never forget my first parent teacher conference. My four year-old had bit his kindergarten teacher. I had failed as a parent already. A big fat “F”. Feelings: Embarrassment, protectiveness, defensiveness, shame, concern for her, worry, etc. Next meeting, I felt pride, accomplishment, warmth toward her,  as she told me he was reading three grades above his level. Looking back it was I who had “separation issues”, separating how I showed up as a parent and a person from my child’s ups and downs at school. Twenty-twenty hindsight, right? That transition from family as the main adult influence to teachers is profound and involves building a lot of trust. Parents can help build that trust through clear communication, recognizing their own emotional patterns and attitudes about education, and focusing on common goals.
Empathize With Yourself as a Parent
In a competitive world, even parenting can become a competitive sport. Does Johnny have the right clothes, tutors, or teachers to succeed in the game of life compared to his classmates?   As schools evaluate, measure, grade and sort children, so too do parents often judge themselves in relation to those same measurements. If your kid is getting A’s, we feel like the best parents, if D’s, it must be all our fault. And children can feel that grade and status pressure as conditional love.  So how to resist getting caught up in the “race to nowhere” ? It starts with curiosity and fun, and nurturing that natural urge to figure stuff out that is in us and our kids. And, going easy on yourself and your child. Parents who study and practice emotional intelligence skills such as empathy, emotional literacy, and self-awareness can help bring balance to their children’s lives though example, focusing on what really matters in building positive relationships. When teachers also learn and practice EQ, children will develop powerful social-emotional skills that support learning for learning’s sake. 
Be Curious so Learning is Continual
Emotional intelligence teaches us to be curious and ask questions and listen. That can be a great bridge between school and home learning.  I loved volunteering in my kids’ classes. Cooking or writing silly songs together, I was able to celebrate my own curiosity, and to form a bond with my child’s teacher. The school’s openness to parents and the comm...

Parents and Teachers, a Winning Partnership- Raising Humans #17

  Has homework created a battle between parents, children, and teachers? Where is the joy of learning amidst the math problems and book reports coming home to families in their children’s backpacks? Can we make it fun? What about other interests? In this podcast from Six Seconds, May Duong and I talk to two teachers […]
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Homework: A Recipe for Learning?

Talking to Kids About Difficult Political Moments In the United States on November 9, many parents woke up wondering how to talk to their children about their feelings about the outcome of the national elections. As Michelle Maltais wrote in the L.A. Times, “Parents struggled to contextualize for their children that a candidate for the […]
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Raising Humans #13-Reducing Academic Stress

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