In this episode, I talk about something I’m really passionate about — how sports can help our kids build real resilience.

But resilience isn’t what many of us think it is. It’s not about pushing through at all costs or never falling apart. In my experience as both a child psychologist and a sports parent, resilience is actually the ability to struggle, take a break when needed, and then try again.

Right now our family is deep in gymnastics competition season and wrapping up soccer, so I share some personal stories from our own experiences this year. I talk about watching my daughter return to gymnastics after breaking her arm, and my son navigating a difficult soccer season where his team didn’t win a single game — but still grew tremendously.

I also talk about the ways I see parents (often unintentionally) getting in the way of resilience. Things like focusing too much on scores, blaming referees or judges, or trying to fix our kids’ disappointment can actually prevent them from developing the skills they need to handle hard things.

Instead, I share some of the ways we try to approach sports in our house — focusing on effort, helping our kids hold two feelings at once (proud and disappointed), and giving them space to process tough moments.

Because the goal of youth sports isn’t perfection. It’s helping our kids learn that they can handle hard things.

In this episode, I talk about:
 • What resilience really is — and what it isn’t
 • Why struggle and disappointment are an important part of growth
 • How sports can create a safe environment for kids to experience failure
 • Why I believe it’s important for kids to feel both proud and disappointed at the same time
 • How we talk about winning and losing in our family
 • The challenge of different commitment levels on youth sports teams
 • The ways I sometimes see parents accidentally undermine resilience
 • How we try to focus more on effort and growth instead of outcomes

One takeaway I hope parents remember
Resilience isn’t about raising kids who never struggle.

It’s about raising kids who learn that when things go badly, they can rest, recover, and try again.

Our job isn’t to protect our kids from the hard parts of sport — it’s to be there beside them while they figure out how to move through them.