Raising Us

they say we raise our children

but i say we raise

each

other

and that many times

like today

it feels to me

like

our children

are raising us

to

higher levels

greater good

deeper love

wiser action

some backstory

yesterday evening

we were eating ice cream on the stoop and

a text comes in

and she says

yes

to her first job

and promptly has to figure out

how much do i charge?

as much as i can get?

as much as they are able?

a fair price according to such and such?

i say,

what’s the going rate?

just charge that

don’t undersell yourself

she says,

no

that doesn’t feel

right

there has to be more to this

and so she talks with her mom

and she listens to her gut

and they work with numbers

and they work with feelings

and they work with values

and they work with others

and they work with

layer

upon

layer

until i hear

i’ve decided!

i’m going to charge less than i could

because i want to

because i know them

because they’re like family

because it feels right to me

because i would do it for free

and i realize that she’s raising me

raising us

and reminding me

this morning

that i’ve spent my own life

loving living so much that

there hasn’t been a time or a job

where i didn’t feel that

i would be happy doing it for free

that something happens

that we cannot see

when we give more than we receive

like an extended exhale

the whole body

relaxes and stops fighting

and starts trusting

and starts receiving more

of just what it needs

yes

there must be balance

but the values

of this equation

are much easier to reconcile

when the body and mind

are giving more than receiving

just ask the man

trying to let go of a lifetime of

taking, taking, taking

trying to let go

of a near-constant, striving, reaching, grasping, holding

trying to stop inhaling

trying to stop just inhaling

trying to stop only inhaling

trying to learn to let go

trying to muster up the trust to

e x h a l e

his way

in to

that which

cannot be taken