This week on Random Assault, we discuss how women secretly have all the power in the world, talk about who we think should win the Smash Bros ballot, wonder how candy cigarettes were ever a thing, and discuss how we lost our respective innocence. Also we find out that Kate peed in a sock. Because nothing surprises me in this world anymore.

SEGMENT 1:

- Mitch watched a hot air balloon crash (kinda)

- Iron Sheik documentary

- David will correct us on everything wrong

- Lesbians have all the privilege; those sexist pigs

- KATE PEED IN A SOCK

- Social justice warriors are retards, as usual

SEGMENT 2:

- Candy cigarettes

- Throat singing

- Smash Bros Fighter Ballot Top 10

SEGMENT 3:

- Jokes

- Losing our viriginity

- Sexual Goosebumps books