Ever watched a YouTube home renovator call themselves an "expert" and felt your eye twitch? You're not alone.

In this week's Rants & Bants (the shorter, free-flowing episodes where Rosie, Sue and Micala get everything off their chests) the hosts take aim at the growing army of self-styled renovation gurus online, question whether Facebook is ever the right place to ask about electrics or insulation, and commiserate over the unique hell of waiting for deliveries in rural France. Will you learn something? Probably. Will you laugh? Without a doubt.

Resources mentioned:

• Chambre de Métiers et de l'Artisanat — the body that accredits artisans in France.
• Leroy Merlin — French DIY and home improvement retailer (mentioned in the context of delivery logistics).
• Colissimo and DPD France — parcel delivery services operating in France.

Mini glossary:

• Artisan — a qualified, registered tradesperson in France. To gain artisan status, three years' experience is required; master craftsman status requires ten years.
• Chambre de Métiers et de l'Artisanat — the French Chamber of Trades and Crafts, which oversees artisan accreditation and apprenticeships.
• Notaire — a French notary; a state-appointed legal professional who oversees property transactions in France.
• DPE (Diagnostic de Performance Énergétique) — an energy performance certificate required for properties in France, which affects resale value and rental eligibility.
• Voliage — the timber sarking boards laid across roof rafters, beneath the roofing felt and tiles.
• Charpente — the roof timber frame/structure.
• Colombage — a traditional half-timbered construction style, common in parts of France, featuring a timber frame with infill panels.
• Torchis — wattle and daub; a traditional building material made from a mix of mud, straw and other natural materials, often used as infill in colombage structures.
• Lodie — a lieu-dit; an informal place name used to identify a hamlet or locality in rural France, often used as an address where no street number exists.

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Maison Bretagne (Rosie Ellis)

S.R. Charpenterie (Sue Peake-Russell)

Paul Wilkins Electricien (Micala Wilkins)