"Examples of rape culture.

Note: This list focuses on rape committed by men against women because it is the most prevalent kind. Though we only look at one, very specific type of sexual assault in this story, rape is also often committed against men, women rape, and trans people experience disproportionately high rates of sexual assault.

Sure, jokes are jokes. But when the butt of our jokes are victims of unspeakable trauma, we're unnecessarily reopening people's wounds—and subtly sending the message that what they experienced is not that big a deal. Moreover, when we make rape into a punchline to be laughed at, it makes it harder to take real rape accusations seriously. And when we don't take rape accusations seriously, it makes rape more permissible.

When we criticize or shame people for having sex, we're validating people who say that women "ask for it" (aka deserve to be raped) by wearing revealing clothing or having a lot of sexual partners. We might think we're a sex-positive, progressive person, but we've all contributed to rape culture by calling someone else's dress "a little slutty."

Victim-blaming means blaming the victim for what was done to them. For example, some people claim that if a person gets raped while drunk or while wearing revealing clothing, it's their own fault. The underlying belief here is that rape is a normal part of life, and if you don't protect yourself from it, then you deserve it. This issue falls directly in line with slut-shaming.

When people ask questions like “What was she doing there?” or “How drunk was she?”, they imply that rape is expected in certain situations. Again, these questions normalize rape and blame the victims for the actions of their perpetrators. When we don't hold perpetrators accountable for their actions, we allow rape to continue unrestricted.

Jacquelyn White, Ph.D., emerita professor of psychology and senior research scientist at the Center for Women’s Health and Wellness at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, explains why we do this: “It’s hard to accept that men we think we know, who seem like nice guys, could do something so horrific as rape, so society tries to come up with excuses.” It then becomes easy to blame the victim when “women are already devalued across the board.”

Instead of delving into deeply rooted societal issues, it’s easier to say, “She was fair game” rather than dethrone the captain of the football team. (“He couldn’t have!”)

Critical social psychologist Christin Bowman, Ph.D., says we contribute to rape culture “when we create school dress codes for teenagers because apparently the natural female form is ‘distracting’ for male students and teachers.”

This reinforces the idea that women must present themselves in a way that caters to the male gaze. Women must act as if men are looking for reasons to take advantage of them, and we assume that men "can't help themselves" around a woman showing skin."