I woke up a couple weeks ago with clarity on this and recorded some thoughts, then I shelved it because... I don't have a stance I want promote here, just thoughts that were helpful to me in my processing. Then I realized sharing these thoughts may be helpful grist for your mill too. ;) lol  Stance or no stance. It was helpful for me to pinpoint these things for myself, because when you clarify what you truly value then everything naturally begins to reorganize itself around that clarity. And the same 'ends' can find new means.