The Mackenzie’s are living the high life as Scotland’s most famous reality TV family with their show, Keepin’ Up Wae The Mackenzie’s taking the top spot every year. However, when the show takes a big dip in ratings the producers put into a place a desperate plan to get them back on top……

All it’ll take is a little bit of convincing, and a designer vagina or two.

Ye cannae choose you’re family…..but ye can choose what channel yer oan.

If The Broons met The Kardashians, it would be a little something like this.

Written By: Christopher Patrick
Produced & Directed By: Christopher Patrick

Performed By: Charlie Graham, Cameron McGarva, Kirsty Strain, Hazel Ann Crawford, Colin Little & Megan Hair

Sound Recorded By: Keiran Lowrie
Tech: Ian Swinscoe

Recorded live on the 29th September 2016 at the Beacon Arts Centre, Greenock.

Series 1 of Toasted Fiction Theatre is supported by Inverclyde Placed Partnership, Beacon Arts Centre & Emerge.

Twitter: @toastedfiction

1.8: Ratins' by Christopher Patrick

Toasted Fiction Theatre is a storytelling anthology podcast created by non-award winning writer Chris Patrick, bringing you stories of all shapes and sizes. 

Each episode is written by Chris Patrick (or a special guest writer) and features a brand new story. 

Subscribe and listen on whichever platform you get your podcasts and find your next story.

Fiction

In the finale for Series 2, Chris revisits his first short film, produced by Pan Breed Productions, The Auditors. 
Mother Nature is real and the world is run like a multi-million pound enterprise and it's losing money. Big time. Auditor's; John Baines and Emma Sykes are brought in to make the relevant cuts. However, Baines has started to question the work they do and is faced with choosing between carrying out the job at hand and what is truly important to him.  

Cast:
Baines: John Savage
Sykes: Hayley Bristow
Summer: Craig Anthony-Ralston
Spring: Kerry Browne
Autumn: Erin Donnachie
Winter: Jericho Reid

Song: Blacker Than Blue
Artist: The Grand Opening
Album: Don't Look Back into the Darkness
Licensed to YouTube by: The Orchard Music (on behalf of Tapete Records); LatinAutor, ARESA, BMG Rights Management (US), LLC, and 1 Music Rights Societies

2.6: The Auditors by Chris Patrick

Produced by Short Attention Span Theatre
Written by Chris Patrick Performed by James Keenan Directed by Daniel Gee Husson
“Get a cat they said, it’ll be nae hassle they said.” It’s a Monday night during the Summer of 2016. The Euros are on, the hoose is quiet and Dave has a cup of tea in hand. It’s a cracking night – until the neighbour knocks the door with news about the cat.
www.chrispatrickwriter.com
www.shortattentionattentionspantheatre.co.uk





2.5: A Mad, Mad, Mad Monday Night by Chris Patrick

An Update On Series Two of the Podcast. What the hell happened!?

An Update on Series Two

Toasted Fiction Theatre presents a No Nonsense Production of Para Handy: A Radio Play (Not) On Stage.
A radio play not on stage (on podcast) adaptation of Neil Munro's classic Para Handy tales.
The Master Mariner, Dougie the Mate, MacPhail the Engineer and Sunny Jim along with a host of other characters take to the airwaves courtesy of three plucky radio actors. This week's episode is The Baker's Little Widow.
Adapted, directed by and starring Kevin Jannetts, along with Calum McVittie & Stewart Phillips.
Check out all things No Nonsense Productions on social media @nononsensepro and their website www.nononsenseproductions.co.uk
Subscribe, share and leave a review/rating of the Toasted Fiction Theatre podcast. Get in touch with us @toastedfictiontheatre or through e-mail on toastedfictiontheatre@gmail.com
You can also support the show via our Patreon page www.patreon.com/toastedfictiontheatre with as little as £1!
Created by Chris Patrick
Series Two produced by Chris Patrick & Ross Patrick
For all more content, including sketches and books, head to www.chrispatrickwriter.com

2.4: Para Handy & The Baker's Little Widow by No Nonsense Productions

Toasted Fiction Theatre presents a No Nonsense Production of Para Handy: A Radio Play (Not) On Stage.
A radio play not on stage (on podcast) adaptation of Neil Munro's classic Para Handy tales.
The Master Mariner, Dougie the Mate, MacPhail the Engineer and Sunny Jim along with a host of other characters take to the airwaves courtesy of three plucky radio actors. This week's episode is The Malingerer
Adapted, directed by and starring Kevin Jannetts, along with Calum McVittie & Stewart Phillips.
Check out all things No Nonsense Productions on social media @nononsensepro and their website www.nononsenseproductions.co.uk
Subscribe, share and leave a review/rating of the Toasted Fiction Theatre podcast. Get in touch with us @toastedfictiontheatre or through e-mail on toastedfictiontheatre@gmail.com
You can also support the show via our Patreon page www.patreon.com/toastedfictiontheatre with as little as £1!
Created by Chris Patrick
Series Two produced by Chris Patrick & Ross Patrick
For all more content, including sketches and books, head to www.chrispatrickwriter.com

1.8: Ratins' by Christopher Patrick

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