Four weeks ago, John my partner of 27 years died. I have the task of arranging the funeral, which is this afternoon 19th September 2024 at 2pm (I recorded this two days ago). This includes the music…the saddest gig for any DJ, let alone the saddest thing I’ve done for someone I loved so deeply. EDIT: there is a report of how it went with video/photos here.

So this cheery banging episode /s is comprised of music I’ve made about the death of John, or about John, or that he loved that will be played at some point during the funeral service or wake/reception after.

Raise a glass for him, and remember him fondly. I will miss him forever, he was my soul mate, my daddy bear, my beautiful man.

The feed artwork is from the coffin I painted for him, a custom abstract piece called ‘The Ship’ that will take him onwards. Collaged into it is pieces of his writing – his thousands of ‘notes’ and also the symbols reflect his life from the TFL roundel to the ANL arrow and Rock Against Racism star.

The actual MP3 artwork I cannot show here, because it’s John lying in state and people get oddly squeamish about death. I just see John in another state, one I’d rather he wasn’t in, but photos of it do not bother me. Unlike my reality of doing CPR on him and watching the paramedics do same, and seeing him dead on the messy floor which I see every time I close my eyes in ‘wonderful’ 3D living technicolour courtesy of my visual brain and likely PTSD. That’s way worse.

John clothed in his favourite clothes in a white coffin – it’s a much nicer memory, if slightly weird cos he’s not really there. So be really thankful if that’s all you have to worry about. So don’t look at the artwork in the MP3 if you don’t want to see that. You are warned.

As i said at the end of the podcast, given my grief and my lack of love for anything other than songs about loss this might be the last Radio Clash, at least for a long while until I can listen to silly mashups and relate to them.

But at the moment pop songs and inane fluff are the last thing on my mind.