Common wisdom often suggests “don’t make a decision from your emotions.” But it is a disservice to emotions to lump them all together and to say a blanket statement like that.

Certain emotions — namely anger, guilt and shame — indicate that we are in a reactive state. They serve as a “red-light” warning that if we speak or act from this reactive state, we are likely to stimulate fear and diminish the relationships around us, including the connection with ourselves.

“When you make a decision out of anger, guilt or shame, rarely will you meet the needs of anyone — not your needs, not the needs of the people around you, not the needs of the organization.”

The Needs-Based Communication process invites us to be conscious of our reaction, and to process it and to express it with its full potency, but in a connected way (from our underlying human needs) rather than a disruptive way (from our reactive thinking).

When we connect to the quality of being alive within the energy of human needs (e.g. being seen, being heard, etc.), we connect to something bigger: the life-force that holds and connects us all.

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