Real Relationships with Cindra Banks

The “lesbian bed death” gets joked about a lot… but what’s actually going on when two women who love and desire each other suddenly aren’t having much sex?

In this episode, I’m unpacking the lesbian dead bedroom: responsive desire, initiation and rejection, pressure around sex, the best-friendification of your relationship, and why a lack of sex doesn’t automatically mean a lack of attraction.

Plus, we’ll talk about how to bring intimacy back without making sex another bloody thing on the to-do list.

🌈 Download the FREE Relationship Compass and find out what might actually need attention in your relationship: cindra-banks-canuli.subscribepage.io

For relationship + intimacy coaching and free resources:
realcindra.com

Come hang out with me on Instagram:
@realcindra

What if you’re waiting to want sex before you start… but your desire doesn’t actually work that way?

In Part Two of our pleasure conversation, we’re diving deeper into responsive desire and what it can look like in a long-term relationship. We’re talking about creating the conditions for desire, taking pressure and expectation out of intimacy, reconnecting with pleasure, and why not feeling spontaneously horny doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with you or your relationship.

Because great sex isn’t just about wanting it more. It’s about understanding how your desire actually works and creating space for pleasure, curiosity and connection.

Want to understand what you and your partner need more of in your relationship? Download the free Relationship Compass: cindra-banks-canuli.subscribepage.io

For relationship + intimacy coaching and free resources, visit realcindra.com
Instagram: @realcindra 🎙️🔥

What if the problem isn’t that you don’t want sex…but that the sex you’re having isn’t something you’re genuinely excited to have?

In this episode, we’re talking about how sex can quietly become another thing you feel like you should be doing in a long-term relationship, and how to bring the pleasure back.

We’re getting into responsive desire, pleasure vs performance, getting out of your head and into your body, figuring out what actually turns you on NOW, communicating what you want, and taking some of the pressure out of intimacy.

Because the goal isn’t just to have more sex.

It’s to have sex you actually fucking enjoy 🔥

Follow me on Instagram: @realcindra

Download your free Connection Compass: beacons.ai/cindra to find your true north in your relationship (and the bedroom).

Thanks for listening 🤍

You love your partner. Your relationship might even be good. So why don’t you feel like…you anymore?

In this episode, we’re talking about what happens when you slowly lose connection with yourself inside your relationship. The resentment you can’t quite explain, feeling less playful, less alive, less interested in sex, and that uncomfortable feeling that something is “off” even when nothing is technically wrong.

We’ll explore why desire is about SO much more than sex, how constantly prioritising everyone else can disconnect you from what you actually want, and the questions that can help you start finding your way back to yourself.

Because maybe you don’t need a different relationship. Maybe you need to become more of yourself inside the relationship you already have ❤️

🧭 Download my FREE Connection Compass to explore where you’re at across connection, communication, resentment + desire, and start finding your true north again: beacons.ai/cindra

Come hang out with me on Instagram: @realcindra

Thanks so much for listening. If this episode hit home, send it to a woman who might need to hear it, and follow the podcast so you don’t miss the next one ❤️

You haven’t had sex in weeks. Maybe months. You both know it. You’re both thinking about it. But somehow… neither of you is actually talking about it.

In this episode, I’m unpacking what happens when sex becomes the elephant in the bedroom: the fear of rejection, pressure around intimacy, the stories we create in the silence, and why even a cuddle can suddenly feel loaded.

I’ll also share how to actually start the conversation without blame, pressure or making “more sex” the goal.

Because maybe your lack of desire isn’t the problem. Maybe it’s trying to tell you something❤️

🧭 Download my FREE Connection Compass to explore what’s really going on across connection, communication, resentment + desire: beacons.ai/cindra

Come hang out with me on Instagram: @realcindra

Thanks so much for listening. If this episode hit home, send it to someone who needs it, and follow the podcast so you don’t miss the next one❤️

This episode is for my FIFO couples and anyone who does long distance in their relationships. Take note!

And I do FIFO too so I get it.

FIFO is challenging, but it doesn't have to slowly pull your relationship apart. In this episode, I'm sharing why love alone isn't enough and why every FIFO couple needs a relationship plan.

We'll cover communication, transition days, expectations, staying emotionally connected, and practical ways to create a relationship that feels strong, even when you're kilometres apart.

If this episode resonated, I'd love it if you shared it with your partner or a friend. It helps more people find the podcast. Thank you in advance!

And if you're ready to create a relationship that feels deeply connected, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive session at realcindra.com

Love ya, appreciate you being here x

Why do so many couples end up fighting about dishes, laundry and taking the bins out?

In this episode, I'm unpacking why household chores become one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, and why it's rarely about the chores themselves.

We'll talk about mental load, invisible labour, different expectations, resentment, and practical ways to work as a team instead of keeping score. If you've ever argued over housework, this episode is for you!

If this episode resonated, I'd love it if you shared it with your partner or a friend. It helps more people find the podcast 🙏 a quick rating and review goes a long way too. Thanks so much in advance!

And if you're ready to create a relationship that feels deeply connected, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive via my website realcindra.com. I'll see you next week ❤️

Have you ever wondered why you never seem to feel "in the mood" anymore?!

In this episode, I'm unpacking one of the biggest myths about women's desire and why low libido isn't always the real problem. We'll explore responsive desire, mental load, emotional connection, and the conditions that help intimacy naturally return.

If you've ever felt like something is wrong with you, this conversation might completely change the way you see yourself. And you’re not alone!

If this episode resonated, I'd love it if you shared it with your partner or a friend. It helps more people find the podcast 🙏

And if you're ready to create a relationship that feels deeply connected, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive via realcindra.com

I'll see you next week 💕

Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered, “Where did the spark go?”

If your relationship feels more like roommates than lovers, you’re not alone ❤️

In this episode, we’re talking about why the spark fades in long-term relationships, what actually causes that sense of disconnection, and, most importantly, how to start finding your way back to each other.

We’ll explore the impact of stress, routine, resentment, emotional distance and the mental load, along with simple, practical ways to rebuild intimacy, connection and desire without chasing the honeymoon phase.

If this episode resonated with you, I’d love it if you shared it with someone you love, left a review, and hit follow so you never miss an episode!

If you’re ready for personalised support, you can book a Relationship Deep Dive with me via the link in my Instagram bio @realcindra. Together, we’ll uncover what’s really keeping you stuck and create a clear path back to the relationship you both want.

Thanks for listening, love you x

Ever wondered what polyamory could possibly teach a monogamous relationship?

In this episode, I'm sharing some of the biggest relationship lessons I learned from exploring polyamory, and trust me, this isn't about convincing anyone to open their relationship!

It's about honest communication, navigating jealousy, asking for what you need, creating healthy interdependence, and having the conversations most couples avoid.

Whether you're dating, married, in a long-term relationship or somewhere in between, these are practical tools that can help you build more trust, connection and intimacy.

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you shared it with someone you love, left a review, and hit follow so you never miss an episode. I appreciate you so much 🙏

Want to go deeper? Book a Relationship Deep Dive with me via the link in my Instagram bio at @realcindra. I'd love to support you in creating a relationship that feels connected, secure and genuinely fulfilling ❤️

Thanks for listening!