Rebuilding Trust with Carol The Coach

“Almost every woman that I’ve ever talked to knew something was going on… But they didn’t have words for it.”

When a woman discovers her partner's betrayal, everyone wants her to decide something. Stay or go. Forgive or not. Tell the kids or wait. But in those first weeks and months her body is in shock: racing thoughts, no sleep, checking his phone at 2 a.m., swinging between numbness and rage. Many partners say they feel like they're going crazy.

Teresa Zuvela, LMHC, CSAT, CPTT, has spent more than 25 years working with women in exactly this place. Her new book, The Body Knew First: A Nervous-System Guide to Steadying Yourself After Betrayal Trauma, explains why betrayal is first a nervous system event, before it is a relationship decision, and why steadying the body has to come first.

Carol and Teresa talk about what the body is trying to communicate, why urgency is not the same as readiness, and practical ways to calm the system enough to think clearly. The book is the first stage of Teresa's five-stage Woodland Pathways Model: Stabilize, Clarify, Reclaim, Integrate, and Live Well.

Help Them Heal: https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com

Teresa Zuvela:

Email: [email protected]

Phone: 253-344-3012

Counseling practice

Education and free workshops

Free Stabilization Guide

Book on Amazon

YouTube: @LivingWellInstituteCoachTeresa

Instagram: @woodland_pathways_counseling

Facebook: Woodland Pathways Counseling

LinkedIn: Teresa Zuvela

“If you’re stuck in self-doubt, this is for you.”

Many women reach a point in life where they no longer recognise themselves. They have spent years as the wife, the mother, the professional, the one who holds everything together for everyone else, and somewhere along the way the woman underneath those roles went quiet. In today's episode, my conversation with Denise Hayden-Hawkins will explore what it takes to hear that woman again.

Whether you’re a betrayed partner, someone struggling with sex addiction, or a professional in the field looking to better serve your clients, this episode is for you!

Help Them Heal: https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com

Denise Hayden-Hawkins:

Website: denisehh.com

Instagram: instagram.com/inneraligncoach

Facebook: facebook.com/InnerAlignCoach

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/denisehaydenhawkins

Email: [email protected]

Phone: 07886019486 (UK)

“We are literally rewiring our brain circuitry to be able to have the brain function differently.”

In today's episode of The Rebuilding Trust Podcast, I’m sitting down with Wendy Conquest to discuss mindfulness and meditation to explore how it can help sex addicts, betrayed partners, and anyone stuck in shame or reactivity find more calm, clarity, and self-awareness.

Whether you’re a betrayed partner, someone struggling with sex addiction, or a professional in the field looking to better serve your clients, this episode is for you!

Help Them Heal: https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com

Wendy Conquest: https://wendyconquest.com

In this episode of Rebuilding Trust, I’m joined by Jenna Riemersma, who shares a simple IFS-based approach to stop fighting your inner parts and start healing from the inside out. In this episode, we talk about how the “notice, know, need” framework can help turn shame, self-criticism, and inner conflict into compassion and growth.

Links:

https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com

https://jennariemersma.com

https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners/all/15433

In this episode, I'm joined by Cristina Wehner to discuss how therapy intensives can help couples and individuals move through betrayal trauma more effectively than traditional weekly therapy. We explore why creating a safe, uninterrupted space can accelerate healing, the role of disclosure and psychoeducation, and how this model benefits both clients and clinicians. Whether you're recovering from betrayal or you're a therapist looking to expand your practice, this conversation offers practical insights into a different approach to healing.

https://www.hopeandfreedom.net/about-cristina-wehner

https://www.linkedin.com/in/cristina-marie-wehner-32271582/

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Robert Hudson to explore compulsive sexual behavior (CSB), its impact on intimate relationships, and the clinical realities that are so often hidden beneath secrecy and shame.

Drawing from his new book, *Treating Compulsive Sexual Behavior and Its Impact on Relationships: A Clinical Guide*, Dr. Hudson helps us understand why CSB is frequently misunderstood as simply a moral failing or lack of willpower. Instead, we discuss how it is often rooted in trauma, attachment difficulties, emotional dysregulation, shame, and complex relational dynamics.

Together, we examine the profound impact CSB can have on betrayed partners, couples, and families. We talk about betrayal trauma, the role of secrecy, and why genuine healing requires much more than simply stopping the behavior.

Dr. Hudson also shares the importance of trauma-informed, non-pathologizing approaches to treatment, the role of accountability in recovery, and practical therapeutic tools that clinicians can use for assessment, cycle mapping, stabilization, and couples work.

Whether you're a clinician, someone in recovery, a betrayed partner, or simply looking to better understand the psychological and relational dimensions of compulsive sexual behavior, I hope this conversation offers insight, encouragement, and practical guidance for the journey toward healing.

Website: https://relationship-recovery.co.uk/

LinkedIn profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-robert-hudson-a19ba91a/

The Second Edition of The Betrayal Bind came out March 3 and expands the attachment based Braving Model even further. One of the core things explored are the six attachment-based coping strategies that emerge after betrayal. Understanding that these behaviors are driving by attachment needs is vital for both betrayed partners, their significant others and the helping professionals who support them.

Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is the founder of the Relational Recovery Institute and the creator of the Braving Hope® Coaching program for individuals recovering from betrayal trauma.

Michelle has created a new attachment-based approach called The Braving Model™ to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is a Certified Professional Coach.

Contact Info

www.michellemays.com

www.relationalrecovery.com

https://www.facebook.com/OfficialMichelleMays/

https://www.instagram.com/michellemays_/

https://www.youtube.com/c/MichelleMaysChannel

Many betrayed partners are told that recovery requires sobriety, accountability, disclosure, and empathy, but they are not always given a clear understanding of what is happening in the addicted brain or why meaningful change takes time. In this conversation, Chris Chandler brings a neuroscience-based lens to compulsive sexual behavior, drawing from his clinical work with thousands of men, his collaboration with Dr. Patrick Carnes on Fulbright-supported sexual addiction research, and his role with the American Foundation for Addiction Research.

Chris will explain how attachment wounds, trauma, shame, and nervous system dysregulation can shape maladaptive coping strategies long before adulthood. Using a simple model of the brainstem, limbic system, and prefrontal cortex, he will help partners understand why early recovery often requires intense stabilization, structure, repetition, and community before deeper emotional and relational healing becomes possible.

This discussion will also explore Carnes’ view of recovery as a long-term process: the first one to two years often focus on sobriety, honesty, accountability, and behavioral stabilization, which can then open the door to deeper attachment work, grief, empathy, intimacy, and relational repair. The goal is not behavior management alone, but restored connection.

Contact Info:

Website: www.breathtobones.com

Schedule a Consultation with Chris: https://breath-to bones.cal.com/chris/consultation

Bill Herring is a clinical social worker as well as a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) in Atlanta Georgia where he has maintained a private psychotherapy practice for he past 35 years.

Bill Herring is the creator of the Problematic Sexual Behavior Framework (known as the PSB Framework for short). This is a way to assess any form of sexual behavior for the presence of problematic aspects without even needing to focus on the type or frequency of that behavior. The PSB Framework uses just five simple questions to assess a person’s pattern of sexual behavior for commitment violations, values conflicts, diminished

self-control, lack of responsibility to others and negative consequences. This approach helps to reduce resistance for people who know or suspect that they have a sexual problem but who are not ready to accept a label as a sex

addict – and may not even need to, as Bill will discuss today.

Contact Into:

Bill Herring LCSW

2127 Vista Dale Court

Tucker GA 30084

(678) 773-3083

Billherring.com

Dr. Monique Thompson, DHA, LPC, LPC-S, is an EMDR-trained therapist and trauma-informed life coach specializing in betrayal trauma, PTSD, and post-infidelity repair. With over 24 years in private practice, she integrates parts-based approaches, nervous system regulation, and trauma reprocessing to help betrayed partners restore a sense of safety and support partners who have betrayed in developing accountability without collapse, defensiveness, or shame-based shutdown. She is the author of a best-selling infidelity recovery workbook for couples. Her work is culturally responsive and, when invited by clients, thoughtfully integrates faith-based perspectives within evidence-informed care.

Contact Info:

https://doctormoniquethompson.com/