In this episode of Bodhisattva Conversations, I explore a powerful and sometimes uncomfortable idea that there is no-one to blame!

Blame looks outward and backward, focusing on who or what caused our current situation, whereas responsibility always looks inward and forward. 

It asks how we meet our lives now.

Blaming others, whether our parents, partners, colleagues, or past circumstances, can feel justified. 

And of course, our experiences have shaped us... Our childhood, relationships, and life events all influence who we become.

But when we continue to blame, we subtly give our power away. As long as someone else is responsible for how we feel or how our life unfolds, our freedom depends on them changing.

Excuses can also be surprisingly subtle. They often sound like quiet identity statements:

“It’s just how I am.”
“I would, but I’m not ready.”
“When things settle down.”
“They always do this to me.”

These narratives can keep us tied to our wounds and patterns. Ironically, excuses can sometimes feel safer than freedom.

Taking full responsibility does not mean blaming ourselves. It means recognising that we are no longer unconscious or unaware. We have the capacity to observe our reactions, our patterns, and our choices.

One of the key practices is learning to stay with discomfort instead of immediately projecting blame outward. In those moments, we can begin to see what our reactions are protecting and where we are still holding onto old identities.

When we stop blaming, we reclaim the power to live differently.