Devsig Podcast

Recognising Love: A 12-Step Guide


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This article provides guidance on how to realise you love someone, and it suggests a three-part approach: thinking about your love interest, discerning your feelings, and making the commitment.Here's a summary of the key points:Part 1: Thinking About Your Love Interest
  • Consider how long you have known them, as love usually takes time to develop.
  • Notice any physiological reactions such as dilated pupils, accelerated heartbeat, nervous feelings, sweaty palms, or flushed cheeks when you think about them.
  • Ask yourself questions to distinguish between love, infatuation, and lust, including:
Part 2: Discerning Your Feelings
  • Determine if your feelings are romantic. Ask yourself:
  • Write down what you like about them (personality, physical traits, positive/negative attributes) to see if it's more than just lust.
  • Consider whether you think of "us" and "we", implying a connection.
  • Consider if you can see a future with this person.
  • Think about how important their dreams and ambitions are to you, and whether you are willing to support them through life's obstacles.
  • Determine whether you accept them for who they are, flaws and all, and if you are becoming a better person because of them.
  • Ask yourself if you are willing to make sacrifices for them, and if these sacrifices are made genuinely.
  • Observe your actions around them; are you happier, more positive, and do you treat them with respect and give them special treatment?
Part 3: Making the Commitment
  • Tell your partner about your feelings once you've decided you are in love.
  • Give them time to reciprocate the feelings, and consider if the relationship is headed in the direction you want.
  • Stay committed to the relationship and continue to put in effort.
The article also includes expert advice from Cristina Morara, a professional matchmaker, dating coach, and relationship expert, who emphasizes that there is no scientific method to know if you are in love. However, paying attention to how you feel will help you come to the right conclusion. She also advises giving a relationship time to grow into love and not to force it.
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Devsig PodcastBy Bholendra Singh