In this episode, I interview James Christensen, a licensed marriage therapist, about divorce recovery and relationship repair. James comes at divorce recovery from a totally different approach than I’ve ever seen before.  He states men need to locate the pain they are feeling from the devastation of the divorce in a precise location on the body and work on that area.  Sometimes the out-of-control actions with our emotions are the result of our child-like impulses.  This podcast was definitely a heaping dose of new possibilities.  It was hard to gather my questions when I was still trying to process the answer he gave me to the previous one.  I feel that we only scratched the surface of the healing ways for you men over 40.  So, James will definitely be asked back.  Thanks James!

Takeaways:

-find where negative emotions are felt in the body to gain a better understanding of them

-focus on making requests instead of complaints to improve communication during divorce

-put in the work to develop emotional maturity and relationship skills for a satisfying marriage

-feel distress and provide self-comfort to overcome the survival instinct and move on from uncontrollable actions

-the spectrum of intimacy in communication

-leaving emotional maturity to your children is priceless

-write it down and wait until tomorrow

-complaining about the past can be harmful

-practice kindness to each other

-feel more do less

James M. Christensen LMFT 

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